Reed's Reckoning

She unleashes him from the contraption and goes to pick him up but I step in.

“Let me.” I whisper.

She looks at me warily and I mouth ‘please’.

Picking him up, I follow her into the house and to his room. She pulls back his sheets and I put him down gently, trying not to wake him. As soon as he leaves my arms, I feel a chill. His little body smells like sweat and chocolate and I miss it. Before I know what I’m doing, I kiss his forehead and breathe him in once more.

I join Ari in the kitchen and watch as she wipes her eyes. She looks upset.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I didn’t think I’d ever see that.”

Well get used to it is what I want to say but hold my tongue. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’ve only been around him for a few hours today, but I want more. I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind since the day on the beach and when we talked on Tuesday, I made a decision.”

She looks at me as if I’m crazy but waits for me to talk. “I’ve made arrangements to do my physical therapy up here for the rest of the summer. I can go back to Jacksonville for my meetings and when training camp starts. I’ve found a place to rent down by the beach.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that little boy is my family and I want him to know me. That’s not going to happen with a few hours on a Saturday at the park. I want to be with him, learn from him, and maybe even teach him a few things. Eventually, we have to tell him who I am, and then I want to invite my mom and sister up from Orlando to meet him.”

Tears fill her eyes again and she looks away. “This is all really fast, Reed. You’ve only been around for a few hours.”

“Get used to me, I’m gonna be around a lot more.”

“Can you give me some time to think about it? I don’t want to hold you back, but I also don’t want to confuse him. He’s still a baby to me and I can’t think of letting him out of my sight right now.”

Now it’s my turn to be confused. Who said anything about letting him out of her sight?

“Ari, that’s not what I want. I’ll come to you two. We’ll start with afternoons and then maybe a few dinners. I want him used to me. I also want to help you.”

She stays quiet for a few seconds then shakes her head in agreement. “Promise me, Reed; promise me you’re serious about this. I can’t let him go through getting to know you and then you disappearing.”

“I told you, I’m not going anywhere. And let’s go ahead and get this out of the way. I know you’re with Luke now. It’ll kill me, but I’ll be respectful and give you two you’re privacy. But please don’t keep me from Davis.”

Surprise spreads over her face. “I’m not with Luke, Reed. I never have been. He’s still my best friend and Godfather to Davis.”

“Then why were you vacationing with him? You two looked pretty close.” The statement comes out harsher than I meant it to.

She squints her eyes at me and my blood chills. She’s mad.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but he invited us along to his company retreat. It was a family function and we’re family.”

“Bullshit! He’s always had a thing for you.”

“No, Reed, he hasn’t! He’s dating a co-worker of mine. They’re coming over tonight together. You were just always jealous.”

There’s no use in trying to argue back she’s right—I was always jealous of her relationship with Luke. I’m of the opinion that men and women can’t be friends. I knew how important he was to her and slowly started to understand their bond. But all my acceptance disappeared when I saw them together on campus that day.

“You’re right. I was jealous of him and now that I know he got to experience the most important moments in our sons life, I’m resentful.” I say through gritted teeth.

“Are we going to rehash that now? After a really good day? You know why I went to him. You should be thanking him. If it wasn’t for him and Soph, Davis and I may not be here right now. That’s how bad I was, Reed, I could have died!”

Hearing her say the words breaks something in me. A world, my world without Arianna, would be dark. I’ve lived the past few years fast and free, but only in the past few hours, have I felt alive.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But shit, Ari, all I’ve thought about the last three and a half days is you and Davis. I’m pissed at the world and at the same time, I’m thanking God. Someone conspired to keep us apart. I want to fucking kill them.”