Holding Onto Forever

Her ear-to-ear grin is all I need. I press my lips to hers. It’s a chaste kiss at first until she opens her mouth and I slip my tongue inside. I keep it brief though, out of fear her parents may walk by. I need to do the right thing and talk to Katelyn and Harrison, ask for their permission to be with her. The last thing I want is to be the cause of a family rift, but I’m in love with their daughter and have been for a long time. I hope they can accept that and give us their blessing.

The clearing of a throat has me looking over my shoulder. My blood runs cold when I see Dessie standing in Peyton’s doorway.

“What are you doing here?” I ask. I stay standing next to Peyton.

“Hi, Peyton,” Dessie says instead of answering me. “I wasn’t aware that you were awake.” She cocks her eyebrow at me.

“Hey, Des–”

“Peyton’s recovery is none of your business, Dessie. Again, what are you doing here?” I ask pointedly.

“We need to talk, Noah.”

I shake my head. “We don’t have anything to say to each other. I made myself pretty clear on where I stand.” My hand dangles near Peyton’s, desperate to feel connected to her. She locks her finger with mine as if she knew this is what I needed.

“But we do. If you would answer your phone, you’d know that we have something very important to discuss.”

I honestly thought if I avoided her, she’d go away. I was wrong. I sigh heavily and look at Peyton. She’s smiling, despite the awkwardness in the room.

“Fine, you don’t want to come with me, I’ll say what I have to say. I’m pregnant, Noah. Almost two months along.”

With my eyes still focused on Peyton, I watch as the color drains from her face and the blood all but leaves my body. Her finger slips away despite my attempt to hold on, and her eyes break hold with mine.

“What’d you say?” I sound like a strangled man when I ask her to repeat herself.

“We’re going to have a baby.”

“Noah?” Peyton’s voice is merely a pained whisper.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell her, kissing her on her forehead. I motion for Dessie to leave the room, glancing quickly at her, with her Cheshire Cat-like smile. I guide her down the hall, past the rest of my family, who conveniently stops talking as we pass, and through the doors. I keep pushing her toward the stairwell and as soon as we’re behind the solid door, I scream out, “What the hell are you playing at?”

“What are you talking about?” The innocent act isn’t going to get her very far with me.

“Why would you barge into Peyton’s room and announce something like this? Are you trying to hurt her? She’s done nothing to you.”

“Except steal you away.”

I shake my head. “She hasn’t stolen me, Dessie. I’m in love with her and I know it hurts you. Believe me, if I could go back to the day we met, I would’ve never pursued anything because it’s not fair to you or her.”

“So what now? I go home and play the single mother while you woo some college student? Is she going to play step-mommy to our child? Do I have to hammer out a visitation schedule around her school work?”

“Dessie…” I push the palms of my hands into my eyes. “You’re messing with lives here. You can’t do shit like this.”

“Wait a minute, Noah. You think I’m messing with lives? I’m pregnant. With your child, no less. I have to tell my boss who might blacklist me for the next round of shoots.” Dessie leans against the wall. “Look, I know we broke up, but this changes everything, but I can’t do this without you. I need your help. And you’re right, I have a slight issue with drugs, but I need to be clean for this baby and I can’t do it alone.”

“Dessie…”

“Noah, I’m sorry for everything. For the way I acted, for accusing you of cheating on me. I haven’t slept since we broke up. I’ve missed shoots. I’ve shown up late with bags under my eyes. I even went to your game so we could talk, and waited for you outside the locker room, only you never came out. Julius told me you already left. I had to track you down here. Do you know how hard this is for me? I know you don’t love me, not like you love Peyton.”

“I can’t imagine it’s been easy, but–”

Dessie steps closer to me. “Before you brush me off, give us a chance. We’re going to have a family, Noah.” She takes my hand and places it on her stomach. I feel nothing. “When this baby was created, you loved me, and I know you already love this baby growing inside of me.”