Holding Onto Forever

“Maybe I’ll head to Nick’s for the night,” I say, laughing.

“You’re more than welcome, Noah, but I think you should probably be wherever Dessie is, and at least talk to her about what you’re feeling.”

We climb down the ladder, leaving my beer behind with the intent to come back for it in the morning. I hug Nick and tell him I’ll be by later to see everyone. Dad hands me a helmet and I slip it on before climbing on behind him. The roar of the engine reminds me when I was a child and he’d take me out for rides. Oh, how I wish I could go back to being free again.

25

Peyton

My heart races as I wait for Kyle to show up. It wasn’t easy to get here in the sense that my mother is watching me like a hawk. Seriously, she needs a hobby. I know she thinks I’m fragile, but I’m getting stronger every day and it’s not because of the exercises Xander has me doing, it’s because I know being with Noah is impossible. Deep down I’ve always known, but couldn’t ever bring myself to separate my dreams from reality.

I watch Kyle as he walks by the window I’m sitting next to. Thankfully, they’re tinted and he can’t see me staring at his ass, let alone the other women who have happened to notice him. Suddenly I’m embarrassed and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. Maybe it’s the women at the other table, saying crude things about him or maybe it’s that I’m embarrassed for Kyle because he has to put up with stuff like that.

The hostess escorts him to the table she sat me at earlier. She touches his arm and throws her head back in mock laughter, almost as if he’s said something funny to her when he hasn’t even taken his eyes off of me.

Being under his scrutiny is weird. Kyle’s good-looking and a month or so ago, I would’ve jumped at the opportunity to be stared at by him or any other man for that matter, but knowing Noah’s in love with me, leaves a gaping hole in my heart – the part where I would love another – and I’m not sure anyone is going to be able to fill it.

Kyle bypasses his chair and kisses me on my cheek. He lingers there for a moment, allowing me to breathe in his cologne. There’s no denying my attraction for him, but right now it’s not enough.

“Thank you for calling,” he says as he sits down. Immediately, he puts his napkin on his lap and pushes his silverware aside so he can rest his elbows on the table.

“Technically, I texted,” I point out as I try to mirror his posture, but I can’t. Being in a wheelchair prevents me from sitting up higher. In fact, I feel short and awkward.

“Do you want to sit in the chair?” Kyle points to the vacant chair behind us, where the hostess moved it out of the way.

I nod eagerly and do my best to pull myself away from the table; all while the women not far from us watch our every move. Kyle picks me up effortlessly as if I weigh nothing and sets me down, maneuvering the chair until I’m pushed in and comfortable.

“Better?”

“Yes.” How he knew I needed this, I’ll never know because I don’t plan on asking. It’s better to leave the kind gesture alone instead of ruining it with an inquisition. “How do you ignore them?” I ask, motioning to the table behind him. The women have gone from a casual glance over their shoulder to full-on staring. Most likely trying to figure out where they know him.

“Same as you, probably.”

“I’m not famous.”

“Your father is though. You get hounded by the media too.”

“How do you know? Did you Google me?”

Kyle smiles and ducks his head, almost as if he’s been caught looking at something he shouldn’t. “I was curious.”

“Ah, I see. And what did you find?” I’m intrigued, yet I’m not. The one rule my dad imposed on us was that we never look him or our family members up online. He wants to protect us from seeing the negativity that comes with being a celebrity.

“Let’s see, you have a twin sister and an older, but adopted brother? Your parents aren’t married. You’ve been attending awards shows since you were little. You grew up in Beaumont, which is where Westbury grew up, but considering what you said the other day…”

He looks at me when he’s done, but I can’t tell if his last bit is a statement or a question. Does he want to know if Noah and I are friends? I’m not sure I can even answer him if that’s the case. I suppose we’ll always be something considering our families are close, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to think of him as extended family. I already told him Noah and I aren’t dating, despite Kyle saying Noah told him to stay away from me.