Dirty Desires
“You are glowing.” It’s three steps toward her.
She shakes with a firm grip. “Is it that obvious?”
“Yes.”
“I…” She releases my hand. “Thank you.”
I pull out her chair for her. After she sits, I take the seat across from her.
We have the width of the table between us, not the length.
Two meters maybe.
It’s not enough space.
She folds one leg over the other. Smooths her dress. Folds her hands in her lap.
Ty motions to the folders on the table. “It’s simple. The two of you sign. I act as your witness. That’s all.”
Laura’s voice is soft. “That’s all?”
He nods. “Ian buys your share. The money in escrow transfers to your account. That’s all.”
She turns to Ty. “Could we have a minute?”
He shoots me that same look. No, it’s worse. As if the bomb is flashing one second and he doesn’t know which wire to pull.
“Why don’t you bring us something to drink. To celebrate. It won’t be champagne, but we must have some sparkling cider.” Somehow, my voice stays even. Calm. One meeting and it’s over. She’s completely out of my life. I’m completely out of hers.
“It almost sounds as if you think I’m your assistant.” Ty’s voice is equal parts playful and threatening. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told Eve. For Laura, of course. But you can fuck off, Ian.”
“Eve?” Laura’s eyes flare with interest. “You’re seeing someone?”
Ty nods you’re welcome and moves to the door. “I’ll give you a few minutes.”
I wait until he’s down the hall. “Yes.”
“Is it serious?”
My gaze flits to her wedding ring. “We’re taking it day by day.”
“Oh.” She wraps her hand around her mug. Coffee, I’m sure. Decaf maybe, but undoubtedly something with a lot of milk and sugar. “For how long?”
“It’s new.”
She nods right. Takes a small sip. Places her cup on the table.
The soft thunk echoes around the room.
The air-conditioning hums.
Her heels clack.
“Are you happy?” She places her palm on the table.
“What does that matter?”
“I know you don’t understand it, but I do love you, Ian. I’ll always love you. I want to know you’re okay.”
I see red. Only bright, blinding, vicious light. “You love me?”
“Yes.”
“Was that what you were thinking when you were fucking David?”
“Ian—”
“Ten months. That I know about. How long was it really?”
She holds her position.
“A year? Two? Our entire fucking marriage? Is that why you went to bed so early in Paris? Because you needed to get up in time to call him and talk him off?”
“Of course not.”
“Of course?”
She shrinks back, hurt. But she knows it’s fair. Presses on anyway. “It went on longer than it should have. I’m sorry. I don’t need you to accept that. I don’t need you to forgive me. But I am sorry.”
“Why are you here, Laura?”
She’s quiet for a long moment. “Don’t you want closure?”
I swallow hard.
“I still loved you, Ian. It wasn’t that. I just… it was one little thing. One thing I couldn’t tell you. I can’t even remember what it was now. Something about work. Something I knew you’d dismiss. I knew you’d tell me you could find me something else. That I didn’t need to stay at the job I hated. That you had plenty.”
“You’re here because you don’t want my money?” That’s rich. She’s walking away from this deal with seven figures in her bank account. “Should we rewrite the terms? You relinquish everything?”
Her inhale is sharp. “If you don’t want to listen, fine. I’ll sign the papers, leave, never contact you again. You’re right. I’m the one who slept with someone else. I’m the one who pulled the plug. I’m the one at fault.”
I don’t want her apology or her non-apology. I’ve heard it before. I’ve heard it enough I’m numb. It’s fucking Wonderwall. I never need to hear it again.
“I’ll say it once. I’m sorry. Really, Ian. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I didn’t wait until we were through. I’m sorry I put that burden on you. I was a coward. I was weak. I was wrong.”
What am I supposed to say—thank you?
“I just… I want you to understand. For both our sakes.”
“For my sake?”
“Yes.” Her voice stays soft. Careful. Like I’m a child she’s trying not to scare. “Don’t you want to understand what happened? Why we grew apart? Why I’d wake up in the morning next to you and feel like I’d slept with a stranger?”
“You were with someone else.”
“Before that. For a long time before that. I… you were gone, Ian. You weren’t there with me anymore. I know that doesn’t excuse anything, but I… I don’t want to be absolved. I don’t want to hurt you more. I just… I want to shake your hand and know that we’ll both be okay.”
“You’ve done fine.”
“And you haven’t?”
“No.” It echoes around the room. Fills the air until the entire place is suffocating.