The First Taste

I let him go off on the story.

I’ve heard it a million times, but it’s still good. Funny. Punctuated.

Bullshit.

Parts are true. Oliver did pay a homeless guy to buy him booze every so often. But the details—

Let’s just say he’s spinning a yarn.

I try to listen, to laugh at the proper places, no fucking way at the right moments, give him hell every so often.

Then I see her.

It’s like the fucking sky parts.

Daisy descends in a cobalt blue dress and bright yellow flats.

She looks at the shoes and raises a brow these are hideous.

“It’s called theme!” Luna squeals loud enough for everyone to hear. “Besides, you’re a spring. It suits you.”

“Please don’t start with that.” She slides her arm around her best friend. Smiles back at her.

Then her eyes meet mine and her smile disappears.

She stares back for a long moment, then she mouths “Outside.” Holds up her hands five minutes.

I nod an okay.

Fail to do anything except watch her.

It’s a nice night. Warm and clear.

The big silver moon casts highlights over the backyard.

The stars try to shine. We’re close to the beach—there’s a faint smell of salt in the air—but the peace of the Pacific Ocean can’t compete with the light pollution of the city.

They’re dull spots on the indigo sky.

I’m sure it means something to Daisy. That she could make it into something beautiful. Set the mood in a dozen words.

But I—

Well, that’s another thing outside my skill set.

I swallow another sip of ginger ale. Set the mug on the cement. Move around the corner. To the brick edge of the flower bed.

It’s a nice sized backyard—the size of my dad’s downstairs. Succulent garden. Bed of roses. Glowing aqua pool.

Patio chairs on a patch of gravel.

Daisy pulls the sliding door closed behind her.

She forces a smile. Steps onto the gravel path that cuts through the succulent garden.

Sits next to me.

“Hey.” She pulls her arms over her chest. Rubs her upper arms with her palms. “You, uh… I didn’t think you’d come.”

Me either. “You invited me.”

“A long time ago.”

“Even so.” I unzip my hoodie. Shrug it off my shoulders. Sling it over hers.

She brings her hands to the soft fabric. “You don’t mind.”

“Clashes with my outfit.” I motion to my light jeans.

She laughs as she slips her arms into the sweater. “Of course. Navy doesn’t go with light blue.”

“It’s ridiculous. Like some cool color convention. Who needs that?”

“No one.”

“Besides.” I motion to her blue wrap dress. Her yellow flats. “Now, you’re really rocking the Bear’s colors.”

“These are ridiculous.” She holds up her foot. “But Luna… she was so excited when she brought them over. I can’t remember the last time I saw her that happy.”

“After she sang Like A Virgin.”

Her laugh is soft. “Yeah. She, uh, she has passion.”

“Not a lot of pitch.”

“I don’t either.”

“You do all right.”

Her cheeks flush. “You, uh… I meant to call you.”

“Oh?”

She presses her palms into her thighs. “I just… I got so busy, with packing and preparing everything. And… I was scared too.”

“Nothing to be scared of.”

“Yeah, maybe. I guess I just… wasn’t ready to say goodbye.” Her eyes meet mine. “I had a lot of fun in Mexico.”

“It was something else.”

Her smile is soft. Honest. “You’re a good guy, Holden. I’m glad I got to see that side of you. I really like it.”

“Thanks.” I do too.

“Do you think you’ll… stay in touch with him?”

“Maybe.”

“I hope you do.” She turns her body toward mine. She opens her mouth like she’s going to say something, then she stops.

“It must be scary.”

“Huh?” Her back snaps upright.

“Leaving tomorrow. Starting this new phase in your life. With almost nothing from home.”

“Yeah.” Her sigh is heavy. “I, uh, I do know a few people who are going to Berkley. Two dozen, between my last school and the one before. Though I… I kinda hope I don’t see them.”

“You want to start fresh?”

“Yeah.”

“Without baggage?”

Her lips press together. “Is it that obvious?”

No. Just human nature. “It must be hard.”

“It is.”

“I like that you say that. You admit it. You don’t come back with some sarcastic bullshit.”

“That would be stealing your thing.”

I smile, even though she’s doing exactly that.

“I know… that’s the same thing. But it’s true. It’s your thing.”

“It is.”

“And I, uh… I guess I am scared. Living alone, making new friends, being far from home. And the rest too… Last time I was left on my own, it didn’t go so well.”

You don’t have to be on your own. Be with me. I don’t have a fucking clue how to do this. Much less do it long distance. But I don’t care.

Be with me.

I love you.

I love you so fucking much.

I swallow hard. “You can always call.”

Her smile is soft. “Thanks, I… I do appreciate that.”

“Really. I mean it. Anytime, day or night. If you need to talk. It doesn’t have to be more than that. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”