Before I Die

“I’m sure you have embedded yourself into that man’s brain. There’s no way he has already forgotten about you. I wish you would see how damn beautiful you are. On top of that, you’re selfless and caring and have the biggest heart. You’re one of the best people I know, and one day a man will appreciate everything you bring to the table.” Blaire gives me one more hug before we say good night.

After saying my prayers, I get into bed, close my eyes, and say one last silent prayer, hoping to have sweet dreams of a certain brown-eyed man who made my birthday this year extra special.

Nevaeh

It’s Friday night, and I’m standing outside my brother’s door. Since I only have a few days left of spring break, I decided to pay him a visit. Stephen swings the door open and smiles wide when he sees me. “Hey, sis!”

I flash him a quick smile back, happy to finally hang out with him since I haven’t seen him in a couple weeks. He was supposed to meet us for my birthday but ended up bailing at the last minute. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m glad he didn’t show up because the kiss with Ethan most likely wouldn’t have happened if he were there.

And I’ll never forget that kiss. Or that man.

“Get in here.” He swings the door open wider, stepping aside so I can pass through. As he’s shutting the door, his phone rings. When he looks down at it, a frown replaces the smile he was just sporting a moment ago.

“Give me a second.” He puts a finger up before he answers the phone, walking into the other room. He’s gone for a few minutes before I hear his voice getting closer once again. “Okay, I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

He ends the call, gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, then plops onto the couch, only to get right back up when the doorbell rings.

“Did you order Chinese?”

He flashes me a crooked smile as he heads to the front door. “Of course. I feel terrible for missing your birthday. It only makes sense to order your favorite.”

He opens the door and pays the delivery kid before coming back into the living room and setting our food onto the coffee table.

Reaching into the takeout bag, I smell the delicious aroma of Wonton soup and sesame chicken. “No worries, big bro. As long as you feed me this yummy food and watch The O.C. like you promised, you’re forgiven.”

“Fuck. I hate that show, but I’ll suffer for you.” Watching television series’ such as One Tree Hill and The O.C. are one of my guilty pleasures. Blaire got me hooked on them, and I’ve watched the reruns at least a half-dozen times.

“So, how was your birthday night out?” he asks, handing me a couple of containers.

“It was good. We ended up going to some crazy popular club… The Warehouse,” I say as I fork some rice and chicken onto my plate.

Stephen drops his fork and it clatters against his plate. “I thought you were going to Wine and Vine?”

“I thought we were too, but Blaire wanted to take me to my first club.” I shrug nonchalantly. “We had a good time.”

“That place is not somewhere you should be frequenting,” he says in a tone I’ve never heard from him before.

“It’s just a club,” I say, confused as to why he’s acting like I just committed the worst sin, when I know for a fact Stephen’s been to way worse places than The Warehouse.

“No, it’s not.” His eyes lock with mine. “The owner of that club is not a good guy. Illegal shit goes down there.” His jaw ticks in anger. “Promise me you won’t go back there again.”

“Okay,” I agree. “It was just for my birthday.” He knows I don’t go out often. It’s not like I’m going to suddenly make it my new hangout. Although, I had considered going back to see if I could run into Ethan again. He’d mentioned he had to get back to work, and it made me wonder if maybe he works at the club. Although, he seemed a bit too dressed up to be bartending. Maybe he’s one of the bouncers…

“I know,” Stephen says. “But The Warehouse isn’t a club you should be hanging out in, even if it’s just for your birthday. I never would’ve let you go there on your own.” He pulls me into a side hug and kisses my temple. “I’m your big brother and it’s my job to make sure you’re safe.”

Stephen turns the television on, ending the conversation, and clicks on one of my favorite episodes as we start to eat. We sit in silence watching the show and I notice that not once does he complain or make fun of the characters like he usually does. No sarcastic comments about Seth’s unhealthy obsession with Summer. No poking fun at the way Ryan is once again bailing Marissa out of a sticky situation. He doesn’t tell me about his latest girlfriend or even ask me about Blaire—and he always asks me about her. I think he secretly likes her, but for whatever reason won’t admit to it. He takes a large sip of his drink and I notice it’s water instead of his usual beer. Something is wrong.