Before I Die

“Do you really think he’ll try to sell me?” she whispers, and Jesus, if the tremble in her voice doesn’t tug at my heartstrings.

The words come out before I realize what I’m saying. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise.”

“Why would you promise that? You don’t even know me. Why would you help me?”

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.

“Were you there when my brother was killed?” she asks quietly, clearly not realizing I was the man standing outside as she fell out of the window and ran.

Her grief-stricken eyes lock with mine, waiting for an answer, and for the first time in a long ass time, my heart hurts for someone else. I’ve spent so many years keeping it on lock, but this woman brings something out in me, emotions I can’t explain.

“I was outside when it happened, but that doesn’t mean I’m not just as guilty. I’m not a good guy, and it’s best you remember that.”

“Did Logan kill him?”

When I don’t say anything right away, she adds, “He said he did. And he said the only reason he wasn’t raping and killing me was because I was a virgin and he could make a lot of money by selling me.”

Of course he did. Because he doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. I never should’ve told Nevaeh’s business to him, but I didn’t think I would ever see her again.

“I just… I need to know for sure if he’s dead,” she says, her eyes filling with tears. “I saw him on the floor. He was bleeding out. But when I tried to tell the police, nobody believed me.”

I should probably lie to her to cover my ass, but for some reason, I can’t do it. “Logan and your brother had a falling out. I told him to talk to him, get it sorted, but he didn’t listen.”

“So, Stephen really was a corrupt cop?” she asks, her bottom lip wobbling.

Knowing it won’t do her any good to know just how corrupt her brother was, I downplay it. He isn’t alive to defend himself or explain, and Nevaeh learning all the shit her brother did will only hurt her. Fuck! When did I grow a damn pussy?

“He had some issues with gambling and was in over his head. He owed a lot of people a lot of money and was making threats to the wrong people. To be honest, I didn’t really know him. I’m sorry for your loss.” And I mean that. I would never wish death on her brother. I wanted my money, to get him to stop with the threats and blackmail, but I didn’t want him dead. And the fact Logan killed him so quickly has me wondering if Logan told me the entire story. And now, finding out he’s in cahoots with some sex trafficker… I’m thinking there’s more to this story.

Nevaeh nods slowly, and several tears fall down her cheeks. My fingers itch to stop them in their tracks, to wipe them away, but I don’t.

“The cops are acting like he wasn’t killed, and they made me feel like I was losing it. My parents don’t even know he’s dead, and I imagine there can’t be a funeral until he’s found. Everyone just thinks he took off on vacation.”

“He won’t be found, Angel,” I say. “And the cop you spoke to… He’s on my payroll.” The minute they showed up at Stephen’s apartment and saw it was wiped clean, I got a phone call. I didn’t have to say anything more than he’s on an extended vacation for him to know what I meant.

Nevaeh nods again in understanding. We sit here for a moment, neither of us saying anything, before she speaks again. “I want to give him a funeral. My parents are going to need closure.” She hits me with her watery eyes. “I need closure.”

“Let me first figure out what Logan is up to, and then once you’re safe, you can do that. Everyone thinks he’s on vacation.”

“Okay,” she whispers, more tears streaming down her face.

“I’m really sorry, Angel. I’m not a good guy, but I never intended for your brother to be killed. I don’t know what the hell is going on with Logan, but I’m going to get to the bottom of it.” I’m shocked by the shit coming out of my mouth. I never apologize to anyone, but Nevaeh reminds me so much of someone I used to know. She’s so damn innocent and shouldn’t have been pulled into this world. But nonetheless she’s here and I’m going to make sure she makes it out alive and unharmed.

“Why do you call me Angel?” she asks.

“The night in the club you were wearing all white.”

“Oh, I thought you were making fun of my name.”

“Your name?”

“Nevaeh…it’s heaven spelled backward.”