Before I Die

He kisses down my torso, and when he gets to my pussy, kisses the center over the thin material. “I wish I could leave this on,” he muses, “but I need to get to what’s underneath.” I giggle, and he glances up, smirking. I love how comfortable I am around Ethan. Like I can be myself.

Carefully, he pulls my panties off my body then spreads my legs. “Damn, woman, you’re so fucking ready for me.”

He pushes two fingers into me and I arch my back at the fullness. I can’t imagine what it will feel like when he’s in me. He slides his fingers in and out, and dips his head to lick my clit. I squirm in anticipation, knowing exactly what comes from Ethan licking my clit. He always puts me first. Every time we’re making out and it leads to pleasuring each other, he never allows me to pleasure him first.

A few swipes of his tongue later, and my orgasm slams into me. My legs clamp together, and Ethan’s chuckle vibrates down to my core as I ride out my climax.

“I will never get tired of making you come,” he says, sitting up and licking his lips.

With his eyes never leaving mine, he pulls his boxer-briefs down his muscular thighs and tosses them to the side. My eyes go straight to the appendage between his legs. Hard and straight and veiny, glistening slightly with a bit of pre-cum. Absolute perfection.

“Are you on birth control?” he asks, and for a second, I’m taken aback.

“Huh?” Grudgingly, I move my eyes from his dick back to his eyes. “What?”

Ethan mistakes my confusion for not understanding, and says softly, “Birth control, Angel. As much as I’d love to fill you with my babies, and I fully plan to one day, I don’t think now is the best time…” He smiles sadly, and I get it. We don’t know what my future is going to look like once we get back and I meet with my neurologist.

“I’m on birth control,” I admit, my voice cracking with unshed emotion. Having kids is on my list and it may not happen. “It’s in my arm and lasts four years.”

Ethan crawls up my body and kisses me. Then, because he’s attuned to my every thought and emotion, he says, “When all of this shit is past us, you’re never going to use birth control again, baby. I’m going to knock you up every chance I get, and we’re going to have little mini angels and devils running around.”

I snort out a laugh at his playfulness and, threading my fingers through his hair, pull on the ends, bringing his face close to mine. “Make love to me, husband.”

“It will be my pleasure, wife.”

While kissing me tenderly, Ethan guides himself into me, one inch at a time. He’s gentle, but it still hurts, and when my body stiffens in pain, he kisses me harder, as if he’s trying to syphon every ounce of pain I’m feeling from me.

When he’s completely seated in me, he stills for a moment. “You okay, Angel?” he murmurs against my lips.

“Yes,” I breathe. “Make love to me, please.”

Ethan nods and then begins to move. My hands leave his hair and go to his strong shoulders, sliding downward and landing on his muscular forearms, which are caging me in on either side. I hold them tight, as he enters me deeply and draws out slowly. I read a lot of women don’t orgasm during sex, especially during their first time, but when his pelvis rubs friction against my clit, my entire body shivers in pleasure.

“Jesus, fuck,” he groans. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. So warm.” His arms are shaking, and I can tell he’s working hard to go slow and be gentle, but I don’t want him to treat me like I’m breakable. I want Ethan completely, without him holding back.

“Fuck me,” I whisper into his ear, using a word I don’t think I’ve ever said out loud.

“Nevaeh…” He growls lowly.

“I can take it, please. Fuck me. Make me yours.”

And that’s all it takes to convince my husband to let go. His lips crash against mine, our tongues hungrily meeting. We’re ravenous for each other, as Ethan fucks me harder, deeper. My body is on fire. I can’t get enough of him. With every thrust into me, his pelvis rubs friction against my clit, and all too soon, everything inside me is clenching. My legs shake, and I scream out his name as I come completely undone. With a growl and then a grunt, Ethan follows right after, filling me with his warm seed.

He stills, catching his breath, and I do the same. And then slowly, he pulls out, causing me to wince. He notices and his lips tip down into a frown.

“I’m okay,” I assure him, framing his face with my hands before he pulls away.