Sinners & Gin - Top Shelf

Fear. Yes, fear.

And good. She should fear me.

It would make this entire plan easier if she did. And fucking her or not, I would hold on to that fear.

I had her eyes now; they were locked with mine, and although I wanted to be a good enough man to stop at this point because she was so obviously afraid, I knew I wasn’t that good a man. Especially now. Maybe I never had been, but events of late had stripped away a lot of my veneer of civilization, and I guessed this was just one more strip of flesh off my hide.

At least she’d had her pleasure, I knew that without a doubt, and I’d offer some soft kisses and affection when I was done. That would ease my conscience—for a while, anyway. And maybe this was her game. This little vixen liked to pretend she didn’t enjoy it, but her juices coating her inner thigh gave away her carnal delight. I’d watched her at the party. I’d seen the lust and desire in her eyes and her actions. Yes, this mafia princess was unlike any others I knew, and sadly in my profession, I knew a lot. She was special, she was by far the most beautiful, and she was also the most mysterious. So, fear in her eyes yes, but the hunger behind them pleaded for more.

And when she tilted her hips toward me, silently urging my cock to possess her, I surrendered to the dictates of my body and flexed my hips forward, wanting to claim her in one swift motion.

It was about me now. My cock couldn’t wait any longer.

Me. My dick. Two powerful forces that couldn’t be denied any longer.

But I couldn’t just slide into her tight little hole that was more than lubricated from arousal. Something was preventing me from claiming her as easily as I expected, although I couldn’t imagine what it could possibly be. I leaned into her further, determined to overcome whatever obstacle this was, and as I glanced up into her eyes, the stark realization of exactly what was stopping me came into my head all at once.

This mafia princess was a virgin.

I wanted to reel back. I wanted to disengage entirely, release her hands, and hold her to me. I wanted to gather her things and take her with me and keep her mine forever, no matter what the hardships that would cause, so that we could do this again in a safer place, where I could take my time and be sure she understood what was going to happen and make sure she wasn’t afraid of it. Nice and easy.

Making love to her sweet pussy rather than fucking it.

But I knew, even as the realization dawned on me, that none of those things were going to happen. And when she nodded her head ever so slightly in approval, I reached down and held her hips still while thrusting my own as hard as I could against her, driving myself up inside her partially, knowing I had torn her defenses a bit but not completely, before making a second, successful attempt that had me buried to the balls—seconds from losing myself completely within her.

And I forced himself to watch her face the entire time. It was the least possible penance, considering what I was doing to her even though I knew it was her first time. Our eyes connected, and we never looked away.

A joining, a magnetic pull, a locked-in stare.

I should say I was sorry. I should leave her and beg her forgiveness as I did so.

But what I did was fuck her—hard and mindlessly.

Stole her virginity.

Ravished her purity.

And shamefully.

I wasn’t the kind of man to worry much about what anyone else thought. I always tried to do what I thought was best in any given situation, even the worst ones. Guilt about sex was a particular waste as far as I was concerned, and that was an opinion I’d had since I could remember. But she was getting the short end of the stick here because of how degraded my life had become, and how angry I was about my own lack of control over my own life.

I was deeply ashamed to realize just how far I had fallen. That my rage had shredded my control and my own code of honor in other areas of my life, like this one. And she happened to—quite literally—be in the wrong place at the wrong time, it seemed.

I wondered if this mafia blueblood beneath me was truly as innocent as she seemed.

Virgin yes… or at least she’d been a virgin.

But how innocent was she?

She was still part of the Costa family.

But the ecstasy she twisted within me—however reluctantly she played—was something I couldn’t deny. Parts of me wanted it to last much longer than it did, but other parts wanted it to be mercifully short for her. In reality, it landed somewhere in the middle, with me burying my face in the pillow next to her in order to stifle my bellow of such pure satisfaction that I felt weak and drained afterwards, so much so that I actually collapsed down on top of her, which was something I rarely did since I was so much bigger than the women I’d had beneath me.