Sordid (Sordid 1)

It was also the most conversation we’d ever had, as he seemed to want to prolong our mutual anticipation. Or possibly just to make me uncomfortable. We talked about his job, mostly. When he’d gotten his undergraduate degree, he’d struggled to find work that wasn’t public accounting with low pay and long hours, and although he’d been concerned about pressure to help with all sides of the Markovic business, he’d accepted the legit job offer from the dealership. Plus, they’d offered to pay for grad school.

Luka glossed over the details, but I could read between the lines. His uncle’s personal accountant was now slowly bringing Luka into the fold regarding the criminal activities. As ridiculous as it sounded, I was worried for him. He’d worked so hard to be better than that, but his family was sinking him, dragging Luka down into their dirty world.

Wasn’t he doing the same to me?

Wednesday’s assignment had been to take video while I brought myself to orgasm. I’d been mortified to film it, but when I was done, I’d been surprised by how hot the video turned out. And it had stolen my breath as he’d watched it in front of me last night.

“What would you like me to do today?” I asked, my voice tight with nervous energy, when we’d finished our lunch. He hadn’t given me a dirty task to complete yet, which set me on high alert.

“No assignment. I’ll be home late.” His eyes clouded over. “I’ve got a dinner meeting with my uncle.”

I felt the chill all the way to my bones. “Oh.”

The silence was heavy with all the questions I wanted to ask, but didn’t.

“Dinner is in the fridge. Whitney puts the heating instructions on the label. Don’t try to burn the house down.”

I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not.

He stared vacantly at the table, and I couldn’t help myself. “Luka . . . are you okay?”

His gaze connected with mine. It was anything but convincing. “I’m fine.”

“All right.” I swallowed thickly. “You can, I don’t know, talk about it if you want to.” The words were shocking, coming from me. I sucked at being a friend, and this was Luka. Why would I want to encourage any kind of relationship? I forced myself to sound light and carefree. “And really, who am I going to tell?”

His head tilted slightly, evaluating me like I was a suspect.

I shrugged. “Or don’t tell me. You do whatever you want.”

Because he made it clear each night where I stood when he locked me into the green striped bedroom alone. I was a toy for him to play with, and when playtime was over, he put me away. He’d fuck me, but not sleep with me, and that bothered me. After all that had happened, him refusing to share his bed was what made me angry.

I was clearly losing my mind.

“I need to get back to work,” he said, rising from the table.

I did the same, took a step toward the stairs, and stopped myself. If I had free rein over the main floor of the house, I didn’t need to return to my room. I was the timid animal released from captivity, unsure of how to adjust to the wild. “I guess I’ll hang out down here?”

“That’s fine.” He smoothed a hand down his tie, and his forehead creased like he was deep in thought. “Fuck, come here.”

I’d only made it one step to him before he had me wrapped in his arms and his mouth covered mine in a desperate kiss. What on earth was happening? His hands caressed my back and pressed me against his chest, and his lips were needy. He tasted of longing, and kissed me like a man on borrowed time.

Holy shit. The realization was like being shot in the chest. Luka was nervous, and this kiss was a potential goodbye. It also explained why he was giving me freedom to move about the house. If he didn’t return, eventually I could try an escape.

“Don’t go,” I whispered when the kiss was over.

I’d never heard him shocked before. “What?”

“The meeting. You’re worried.” Worried for his life.

He pulled in a long breath. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. If I don’t go, that . . . would not be fine, for either of us.” He cupped my face in a hand, and his thumb brushed softly, tracing my cheek. “I’ll be back later tonight.”

He kissed me once more, and then pulled himself away, leaving me adrift with emotions I didn’t want to have.

The rest of the day dragged more than normal. I watched the lectures Vanessa had recorded from the previous day, did my required reading, and then set about exploring the parts of the house that were available to me.

Pictures of Luka’s family were scarce. I lingered over the one in the office, wondering what had happened to his vibrant, healthy-looking mother. Would he open up about her death someday? I scowled. Every day that passed where I was locked in this house made my feelings for him hazy and unfocused. How the hell had my hate evaporated so quickly?