Egomaniac

I walked up and stood next to Emerie. Handing her the drink as I looked at the snake, I said, “Here you go. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Will. He offered to show me some pointers.”

“Oh yeah?”

Will was holding a drink in his left hand. The finger he’d slipped his wedding ring off of still had the indent in it. I waited until our eyes locked, then I let mine lead his down to his finger. “We have the table for another twenty minutes. You and your wife want next game when we’re finished?”

Nothing like a little silent man-to-man conversation.

He nodded to the bar. “Maybe another time. My friends are waiting for me.”

Nice talking to you, Will.

After that, Emerie and I finished our game and went to sit at a table in a quieter area of the bar. She drank that first margarita pretty quick, and the waitress had just delivered a second. Her mood had changed from down about the asshole with a bowtie to alcohol-assisted upbeat.

“So what was your favorite birthday present you ever received?” she asked.

“Me? I don’t know. Growing up my father bought me lots of shit. A car for my seventeenth birthday, I guess.”

“That’s boring.” She took a sip of her margarita, and a line of salt stuck to her lip.

“You have…” I pointed to my mouth where the salt was on hers. “Salt.”

She reached up and swiped her lip, but the wrong side.

I chuckled and reached across the table. “I got it.”

Without giving it a second thought, I brought the salt from her lips to mine and sucked it off my thumb. Maybe I was deluding myself, big ego and all, but I swear her lips parted, and if I’d leaned in, I would have heard a little gasp.

Fuck. I bet she’s really responsive in bed.

I cleared my throat. “What about you? Best present you ever received?”

“My parents gave me a gift certificate for Lasik surgery when I turned eighteen.”

“Lasik? But you wear glasses.”

“Oh, I didn’t keep the gift. I went down to the doctor’s office and explained that my parents had made a mistake, and I didn’t want the surgery.”

“So you didn’t want the surgery, but it was the best present you ever received?”

She sipped her margarita again. Unfortunately, no salt left behind this time. I thought about pretending there was, but she started to speak again too quickly.

“Oh, no, I wanted to get the surgery. In second grade, Missy Robinson called me Grandma because I needed different glasses to see the board and to read. The name stuck throughout elementary school. I hated my glasses. For a long time, I wouldn’t wear them, even though I had to squint and constantly got headaches.”

“What am I missing? Your parents got you something you really wanted, so you returned it?”

“My parents couldn’t afford the surgery. It was six thousand dollars, and my dad was driving around in a twenty-year-old car. But it was the nicest present I could ever have asked for.”

Add sweet to a great rack, highly fuckable ass, and smart mouth. That smart mouth is also quite fuckable, I might add.

“What about now? If you could have anything you wanted for your birthday today, what would it be?”

Her finger tapped at her lip while she thought. “A bath.”

“A bath? Like one of those spa treatment mud things or something?”

“Nope. Just a good soak in a nice tub. My apartment only has a shower, and I really miss taking a bath. I used to take one every Saturday morning—put in my headphones and soak until I was shriveled. It’s my happy place.”

I took a long draw from my beer, watching her again. “You’re easy to please.”

She shrugged. “How about you? If today was your birthday and you could pick one present, what would it be?”

I swallowed my immediate thought. Beck. Not wanting to bring down Emerie’s mood on her birthday, I gave her my second pick for a present. “A blowjob would be nice.”

Emerie was mid-sip and sprayed her margarita all over me when she laughed.

I wiped my face with a napkin. “Well, now I’ve had the salt and the margarita.”

She giggled. “I’m sorry.”

***

It was after two in the morning by the time we stumbled to Emerie’s apartment. I’d insisted on walking her home. I had a buzz going, but I thought she might be closer to drunk.

“Shhh….” She held a finger up to her mouth to tell me to keep it down, yet she was the one being loud. Pointing to the apartment next door as she fished in her purse for keys, she added, “That’s Baldwinny’s apartment.”

Yep. She was drunk.

I took the keys from her hand. “Might do him some good to hear you with another man.”

Emerie stepped aside so I could unlock the door for her. Letting out a big sigh, she leaned her head on my arm while I screwed with the lock. The damn thing seemed to be stuck.