Consent (The Loan Shark Duet 2)

“I was just telling Valentina not to put herself down,” Michael says.

Gabriel’s eyes find mine. They penetrate my soul, making me cold inside. “Is that so?”

“Our deepest condolences, my man.” Michael places a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “There are no words.”

“No, there aren’t,” Gabriel says.

“Gabriel.” Elizabeth embraces him. “If there is anything, anything at all…”

“Thank you.”

“Congratulations on the wedding,” Michael continues. “We’re happy for you.”

“Yes,” Gabriel says without looking at me.

Inwardly, I cringe. If I had any doubts about Gabriel’s feelings toward me, I don’t any longer. He thinks like Magda and Sylvia. It’s only his sense of responsibility and honor that prevents him from tossing his true thoughts in my face.

Elizabeth saves the moment by asking Gabriel questions about the funeral planning. All the while, he ignores me without ignoring me. He pretends I’m not standing next to him, but we’re so aware of each other our bodies hum.

The atmosphere is uncomfortable. The stress is too much. Every muscle in my body is clenched. A band tightens around my abdomen, squeezing and holding for three seconds before releasing. After two beats the pattern repeats, but it doesn’t hurt. My first Braxton Hicks contractions.

Needing to escape the tense situation, I offer to get Elizabeth and Michael a drink, but Gabriel stops me before I can walk away.

His fingers curl around my upper arm. “No.”

I stare at him in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“Go upstairs and rest.”

Is he trying to ship me off? Is he ashamed of me? Of everyone seeing the evidence of what happens between us in the size of my belly? Hurtful feelings scorch through me, but this isn’t the time or place. This isn’t about me. Or us. This is about him and Sylvia. This is about Carly.

“All right.” I smile brightly for his guests. “Let me know if you need me.”

I purse my lips as another contraction hits. Gabriel holds my gaze for two more seconds, his eyes too knowing, too piercing. When the invisible vice on my belly snaps, I offer Elizabeth and Michael a polite greeting and free my arm from Gabriel’s hold, turning for the stairs, but he doesn’t let me go. His palm presses on the small of my back.

“I’ll walk you.”

I can’t be alone with him, right now. I’m afraid of the intensity of what I felt a moment ago, and most of all of his honesty. “I’ll be fine. Stay with your guests.”

And he does. He turns around and walks away.

In our room, I sit down on the bed. My hands smooth out the comforter that knows our secrets, our shame. Grief and blame tear me apart. My heart breaks a thousand times over for the man downstairs. I’m powerless to console him. How can I? I’m an ugly, dirty link in a chain of events that led to Gabriel’s daughter’s death.

Gabriel

Magda is getting impatient with me. She taps her nails on the desk upstairs in Napoli’s. “It’s been a month. You have to move on.”

A month since Carly is gone, and I can’t get my shit together. With moving on, Magda means killing, of course. Some jackass in Braamfontein crossed the line when he burgled our office. A month ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated. I would’ve taken the idiot out without blinking an eye, but I made a promise to myself, for Carly, and I won’t betray my daughter’s memory.

I turn my back to her, facing the window that overlooks the gambling floor below. “Told you, I’m done. I’m out.”

There’s anger in her voice. “Without you, we’ll go under.”

“You have Scott and a thousand others you can recruit.”

“You are my son. Albeit a useless one, and thanks to––” She cuts herself short, gulps in some air. A shaky breath slips into the silence. “Now we don’t have an heir.”

Damn right, we don’t. My son won’t end up like me, just like it was never my intention to marry Carly off to a criminal worthy of running our shady business. What Magda won’t see is that we never had an heir, and we never will.

“It’s your business.” I turn back to face her. “Do with it what you will, but I’m leaving.”

Scorn deforms her mouth. “What will you do? How will you live?”

She’s got me by the balls and from the way that scornful smile grows into a spiteful grin she knows it. I have no idea. I have a wife and soon I’ll have a child to take care of. People hate me. Enemies have grudges. I need to keep my family safe, and the only way to do it is to have money. State of the art alarm systems, ammunition, and guards cost bucks. Big bucks.

I cast out my feelers carefully. “I could still run the office, take charge of our business affairs.”

She throws me a snide look. “In our business the only bosses respected are the ones who get their hands dirty.”