Wide Open Spaces (Shooting Stars 2)

“About an hour or so, maybe a little longer. He was tired last night when we got home,” I reply, pulling the sheet up to cover my breasts, suddenly feeling shy about being naked around him, which is absurd, since he saw everything—absolutely everything—last night.

“Good, got time to make out before I need to go get ready for work.” He smirks, ripping the sheet out of my grasp and crawling up the bed, pushing my legs apart and settling his hips between mine.

“I think we need to talk,” I say, as his mouth moves across my jaw and down my neck.

“Talk away,” he murmurs, licking up the column of my throat making my body come alive once more.

“I don’t think this is smart,” I moan, lifting my legs to wrap around his waist while running my hands up the smooth skin of his back.

“You’re wrong.” His reply is immediate and firm as his hand skates down the back of my thigh to my ass, lifting my hips into his.

“I… oh, god,” I breathe, when his hand cups my breast and his thumb slides over my nipple.

“This is right, baby. You can try to convince yourself it isn’t, but you and I both know you’re lying to yourself.” His words vibrate against my neck, and then he leans back to look at me. “I saw the look in your eyes at dinner. I know what it meant, because I was feeling that same feeling in my gut, sitting there with you. With our kids. We were meant to be here, right now in this moment. We were meant to find each other again.” His words have the oxygen in my lungs burning, as I hold my breath so I can fight back the tears I know are coming.

“I don’t want to get hurt,” I tell him honestly, and his hands move to hold my face gently.

“I can’t promise things will be perfect. What I can promise you is that I will never hurt you on purpose, and I will work at making you happy, work at making you feel safe.”

“Don’t you think we have too much history between us?” I ask before he can say more, and his face softens then dips toward mine, and he kisses me gently before leaning back.

“The only thing I think—the only thing I know—is I’ve carried around an empty place in my soul for the last fifteen years, and the moment I saw you standing outside in the rain, that empty place filled up.” His words cause the tears in my eyes to spill over, and he quickly swipes them away with the pads of his thumbs.

“It’s not just us,” I try again, not knowing why I’m even bothering. I want this, I want him more than my next breath.

“You’re right. It’s not just us. I’m not saying we’ll get married tomorrow or move in together next week. All I’m saying is I want this, and will work at making you want it just as badly as I do.”

I want to tell him that I already do want it, but I can’t put myself out there like that. Not yet anyway.

“Slow,” I say, and his face changes again.

And then he’s sliding inside of me, filling me up once more, whispering, “Slow,” against my neck.

“Not back together with Zach, hmm?” Paul questions softly from my side, and I turn my head to glare at him, only to see the smirk on his face turn into a huge smug grin.

“No, we’re not together.” He raises a brow and I blow out a breath, rolling my eyes. “Fine. Yes, we’re seeing each other, but right now, we are taking it slow,” I say, knowing my version of slow and Zach’s are completely different.

We haven’t told the kids about us, but I have no doubt they know something is going on, judging from how Zach acts toward me, even when they’re around. Not inappropriately, but still, his face will change when our eyes meet, his fingers will graze mine, or his hand will move to my lower back if we’re standing next to each other. I know they see it. They have to.

Hunter hasn’t acted like he notices, which I can’t decide if that’s good or bad. He’s never seen me with anyone but his father, and I don’t want him upset. Aubrey just looks happy whenever she happens to glance between us, and Steven—well, Steven always looks conflicted. I know it’s not that he doesn’t like me, though. I know it’s because he loves his mom, and is loyal to her in a way that actually makes me proud of him.

“I’m glad to see you happy.”

Coming out of my head, I wrap my arms around my waist and hold my breath, watching him take a puff off his cigarette. I am happy. Happier than I’ve been in a very long time, and that scares me, because I don’t want my happiness to be wrapped up in Zach. I want it to be something separate, something I can take with me if there comes a time when we don’t work out. I should have done that with Max, but I didn’t. I put the responsibility of my happiness—our happiness—on his shoulders, and that wasn’t fair to him. In the end, it became too much for him to bear.

“You should really stop smoking,” I scold, and he laughs, blowing out a large cloud of smoke a second later.

“I know, but old habits die hard.” He smiles then tilts his head to the side. “Glad you came over.”

“Me too. I really like Joe. She’s perfect for you,” I say. His face softens and his eyes grow warm at the mention of his wife’s name.

“I didn’t do right by her when we started. I was with her while holding her at arm’s length, trying to keep myself safe, and I acted like a dick.”

“What changed?” I ask, turning to look into the house, where Zach and Joe plus all of the kids are sitting around the table where I left them talking so I could follow Paul out while he smoked.

“She told me she was pregnant with Denver and that she couldn’t be with me anymore. She told me she didn’t want to raise him with a man who was only around when it was convenient for him to be there, and then told me she was going to find a man who would love her the way she deserved to be loved. I knew then that she’d find that man in someone else. As pretty as she is and as sweet as she is, I knew it wouldn’t take

her long to find someone to give her what she needed, but I knew I couldn’t let her go, so I got my shit together and fought for us.”

“Smart woman.”

“Strong, so damn strong… and stubborn.” He grins and his beard shifts. “Took all of her pregnancy for her to come around. It wasn’t until she was giving birth to Den that she told me she was willing to give us another chance. I don’t know what I would have done if she didn’t take me back.”

“You’re a good man. She would have come around eventually.”

“Sometimes, a woman is hurt so badly there is no repairin’ that damage. Lucky for me, I was able to fix the parts of her I broke.”

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I know exactly what he’s saying, because even though Zach didn’t break me, there are parts of me still gaping wide open.

“You two will figure it out,” he says gently, and my head turns toward him. “I have faith that somehow we are led to the exact place in our lives that we are meant to be, and I have no doubt you and Zach are meant to be right here, so now it’s up to you two to figure out how to make it work.”

“I’m scared,” I admit. “I didn’t have the best marriage, and we’re not the same people we were years ago. We both have baggage.”

“You just have to figure out how to share the load with each other. There will be times when you need to carry it all around, and times when he does too. That’s the point of relationships. Give and take. Making sure the other person is content.”

“Joe sure has made you smart.” I smile, and he grins back then takes a long drag from his cigarette.

“Your granddad would be happy. He always wanted you two back together,” he says, surprising me.

“You know, he never talked about Zach or the kids with me.”