Fire & Brimstone (Neighbor from Hell 8)

He was fucking done.

Absolutely fucking done.

Shooting one last glare at the uniforms that would make a lovely addition to a bonfire, he headed towards the back, giving customers a slight nod when they waved hello and ignoring the employees that were trying to derail him from his life’s purpose with petty bullshit. He didn’t stop until he found himself in the employee hallway and was forced to punch in the code to release the security door that lead upstairs to the apartments that he’d added shortly after he’d purchased the building.

As soon as the door clicked open, he was in the stairwell and heading upstairs where he would finally end the little demon’s reign of terror. This ended today, he promised himself, refusing to put up with her bullshit for one more day. Thirty seconds later, he was at her door and raising his hand as anticipation coursed through his body.

Finally, this nightmare was about to-

“Good morning, Christopher,” the little terror greeted him with a huge smile when she opened the door and spotted him, daring to call him the name that not even his mother used anymore, further fueling his determination to get rid of her. “Did you need something?”

“You’re fired,” he blurted out with absolutely no finesse, ruining what he’d been working on for years, but at the moment he really didn’t fucking care as long as the job got done. The only thing that mattered was finally ridding himself of the biggest mistake of his life.

Instead of crying, begging for her job or arguing with him like most sane people would have done, she simply nodded and mumbled a distracted, “I see,” as she glanced over her shoulder at something in her apartment, the move causing her curly black hair that he had to admit that he liked about her to slide off her shoulder.

“You’re fired,” he said a little louder, determined to make sure that there were no misunderstandings.

“Uh huh,” she mumbled, sounding even more distracted as she turned around, grabbed the door handle and ever so carefully, pulled the door closed behind her. She slowly backed away from the door. Licking her lips nervously, she shot a hopeful glance towards the stairwell door as though she was calculating the odds of making it there before-

“You little bitch!” came the feminine roar as the door was suddenly thrown open and Melanie, the normal one in this duo as far as he could tell, launched herself at Rebecca before the much smaller woman could so much as gasp in surprise as she took her down to the ground.

“Get the hell off me!” Rebecca demanded a minute later as she rolled over onto her stomach and attempted to crawl away, but the crazed woman on top of her, who’d clearly been pushed to her limit, refused to let her go.

“No!”

“Bitch!” Rebecca shot back, triggering a verbal duel that he was, unfortunately, all too familiar with.

“Whore!”

“Tramp!”

“Bieber lover!” Melanie growled as she put Rebecca in a headlock and earned a gasp of outrage, because clearly that was crossing the line.

“You bitch!” Rebecca snarled, forgoing her attempts to escape so that she could put her best friend in a headlock of her own.

Sighing heavily, Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering how his life had turned into this fucked up existence. He’d like to say that living with these two was like living with his family, but sadly, he couldn’t even say that, because they were clearly worse than anyone in his family, which was actually fucking disturbing.

“Are you two done yet?” he asked, not really surprised when they ignored him and continued to fight, argue or whatever they fucking called it.

“You’re going!” Melanie snapped with a determined expression as she released her hold on Rebecca and-

“Ow!” Rebecca screamed as Melanie grabbed her by the ear and gave it a good twist, a move that never seemed to fail and one that the little pain in the ass really should have expected.

“I didn’t come up here to witness more of your bullshit,” he snapped as the pair moved onto ineffectual bitch slaps. “I wanted to make sure that you understood that you’re fired.”

But, like always, they continued to ignore him and the fact that their “baby,” had come out into the hallway to watch them, already looking bored. Thankful that the dog hadn’t focused on him, Lucifer decided to give it one more try before he left, secure in the knowledge that he’d accomplished what he’d come here to do.

“You’re fired.”

“We heard you the first time!” Melanie snapped, looking more determined than he’d ever seen her before as she stood up and attempted to drag her best friend towards the stairwell door by her ear.

“Let go!” Rebecca snapped right back, but it was clear to everyone in the hallway, including the dog now snoring loudly by the door, that she’d lost.

Having had enough bullshit today and wanting to make sure that the worst employee that he’d ever had knew that she was fired, he walked over to the struggling duo, reached down and swept Rebecca off her feet. He ignored the twin sounds of outrage, the dog rolling over onto his side and blocking most of the hallway and headed for his apartment.

*-*-*-*

“Hey! I was winning that!” she argued, even though she’d been getting her ass royally kicked and seconds away from being dragged down a flight of stairs by her ear.

“Shut up and sit down,” Lucifer said evenly as he rudely deposited her on one of the large leather couches taking up the large open space, letting her know that she’d finally pushed him too far, because he’d never once in the five years that she’d worked for him allowed her inside his apartment.

No one was allowed in here as far as she knew. This was his sanctuary, his escape from the rest of the world and the one place that she’d never attempted to infiltrate, because she hadn’t wanted to see exactly how far she could push him before he snapped and turned the infamous Lucifer Bradford temper on her. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t lost his temper with her before. It happened on a daily basis and usually more than once a day, but she’d never seen him this angry before.

At other people?

All. The. Time.

Since she really didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that aforementioned temper, she decided that it would probably be in her best interest if she made a hasty retreat and gave him a chance to cool off.

“You and I need to have a talk,” he bit out with a cold glare that didn’t bode well for her.

Yeah….no, she was good.

“We definitely should talk,” she agreed with a firm

nod, because she’d learned years ago that the best way to deal with Lucifer Bradford was to either distract him or avoid him altogether and since she didn’t have her trusty clipboard with her...

She needed to get out of here for a few hours and unfortunately for her, the only thing that would grant her sanctuary until Mr. Cranky Pants here redirected that anger issue of his onto someone else was a visit to the Doctor’s office.

Well, there really was no point in putting it off any longer, especially since Lucifer looked liked he was going to try firing her again. He really was cute when he thought that he was in charge, she mused with a resigned sigh as she got to her feet and headed for the door.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he demanded, somehow managing to look downright adorable for a man that could have easily been a cover model with his brooding green eyes, perfect tan, great build and short jet black hair that he swept forward every morning.

It really was a shame that he was such an asshole, she thought as she gave him one of those huge smiles that made always seemed to make the muscle beneath his eye tick and said brightly, “Doctor’s appointment!”

Before he could reply, she was out the door and in a chokehold by a woman who could teach Lucifer Bradford a thing or two about channeling all that anger.