Delectable (Neighbor from Hell 9)

“Uncle? I thought he was your dad’s cousin or something,” she said, shifting to get more comfortable.

“He is.”

“Then why do you call him your uncle?” she asked, repeating the same question that he got asked all the time.

“Because that’s just the way my family is,” he said, too tired to explain the complexities of his family.

Nodding, she said, “You’re lucky.”

Smiling sadly, he murmured, “I know.”

Chapter 26

“Get up,” the annoying man that she was stuck with for the rest of her life said, as he tried to pull the pillow away.

“Go away!” she snapped, blindly slapping the grasping hands that were hell-bent on dragging her out of bed at this unholy hour.

“No! Get up before you ruin everything!” Eric snapped back as he gave her pillow another yank before shifting his attention to the blanket that she was damn well not going to give up without a fight.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Kasey demanded, as she pulled the blanket over her head and curled up on her side so that she could pin the blanket in place.

“I’m serious, Kasey! Get up!” Eric growled as he struggled to tear the blanket away from her before finally giving up with a growl of frustration and a huff.

“No.”

There was a slight pause and then, “Please?”

She had to snort at that, because he really should have known better. She was a single mother of a very active ten-year-old, who liked to keep her on her toes, which meant that she was still catching up on the sleep that she’d missed during the first five years of Mikey’s life. She loved sleep, needed it badly, and she was willing to kill anyone that tried to prevent her from getting more of it. Eric knew better than anyone the danger that he courted by coming in here at the crack of dawn

“I will kill you, Eric. Do you understand?” she snapped when he returned to tugging on her pillow. “I will end you!”

“Yeah, whatever you say, princess. Just get your lazy ass up so that I can help with demolishing the kitchen,” he said, not sounding like he was all that concerned with his imminent death.

“That’s why you’re doing this? So, that you can swing a sledgehammer around?” she asked with a snort of disgust.

“Yes!” he hissed.

“This is just sad,” she said, shaking her head in disgust as she shifted to get more comfortable, more determined than ever to ignore him.

“Are you getting up?”

“No, you don’t need me to get up so that you can demolish the kitchen,” she pointed out with more patience than she was normally capable of this early in the morning.

“We really do.”

“You really need to leave before I hurt you,” she grumbled into her pillow.

“And you really need to get your ass out of that bed so that I can live out my dream!”

“Your dream is to meet Stan Lee, not tear apart my kitchen!”

“Don’t stifle my dreams!”

Turning over, she threw her pillow at his head, wishing that she had Mikey’s arm when it merely bounced off his shoulder and landed on the floor. “Get. Out.”

“Get. Up,” he shot back with a glare.

She snorted at that. “No.”

“Yes!”

“You don’t need me to get up!” she snapped, tired of arguing with the demented bastard.

Instead of arguing with her like she’d expected, he pointed one damning finger at her and said, “I’ll be back in five minutes.”

Yawning, she curled back up onto her side, grabbed the extra pillow, closed her eyes and settled in to fall back asleep. “No, you won’t.”

He didn’t answer, and for that alone, she didn’t throw her remaining pillow at him. After a moment, she felt herself begin to drift off, thankful that it was the weekend and she didn’t need to drive Mikey to camp. This morning she could sleep in before dragging her butt out of bed around ten, take Mikey out for an early lunch, maybe take her to a movie, the batting cages, and-

Jump out of the bed with a shriek when the resourceful little bastard came back with Mikey’s pet snake, the same one that Kasey had only allowed her child to have as long as she kept her room immaculate so that she never, ever, ever had to go in there. As she ran from the room screaming, she vowed to block all the sports channels in revenge.

*-*-*-*

“Umm, Yummy?” came the semi-amused voice of the woman currently sitting on the picnic table that had been dragged closer to the house so that their audience could watch the proceedings more comfortably.

“What is it now, my little pain in the ass?” he drawled, stopping on his way to the large dumpster as he shifted the kitchen drawer that had been rusted in place over his shoulder.

“You know that he’s looking at the saws again, right?” she asked, blinking as she pointed towards the truck.

“I’m on it,” Trevor said with a tired sigh, walking past him as Reese glared at the smug woman sipping another Coke.

“Bet you’re regretting sending him in to wake me up this morning, aren’t ya, Yummy?” she asked, taking a slow, deliberate sip of her Coke as those smug blue eyes watched him.

“Oh, come on!” Eric yelled before adding. “Oh, crap!” somehow making the woman sitting in front of him even smugger.

“Maybe you could find something else for Eric to do?” Zoe asked, shifting nervously as she shot anxious glances towards where her husband was no doubt trying to wrestle another saw from Eric’s hands before he managed to cut through another-

“Oh, crap!”

Shooting one last glare at the smug woman that looked too damn good for his sanity in those cut off jeans and navy blue bikini top, he strolled over to the large dumpster they’d rented. He dumped the drawer inside it before shooting a warning glare at Eric, who was now standing there, shooting him a sheepish smile.

“Sorry,” Eric mumbled, discretely shoving the cut wire behind him.

Deciding that he’d handle kicking Kasey out of bed from now on in the morning, he headed back into the house, smiling when the smug woman decided to follow him.

“So, Yummy,” she drawled, following him into the house, “how long do you think I’ll be out of a kitchen?”

“Until I’m done,” he said, wondering how she was going to react when he put the tarps up and banned her from the kitchen and living room.

Probably not well, he mused with a smile as he grabbed his own Coke off the kitchen island that he looked forward to tearing apart and turned around to face the smug woman that made him want to go get that snake that had sent her screaming from the house only hours earlier and toss it at her.

“I see,” she murmured, regarding him with a curious look that left him a little unnerved, especially when it turned calculating. “So, that cottage you’re renting…”

“Yes?” he said, waiting to see where the devious little woman was going with this.

“If memory serves me correctly, it has a very nice kitchen, doesn’t it?”

“It does,” he conceded with a nod.

“A kitchen that I believe will probably be free most of the day?” she asked with an adorable little smile that made him want to kiss her, but then again, it seemed like most of the things that she did made him want to kiss her.

He’d barely known her for a week and she already had him wrapped around her little finger. He

should be embarrassed, but sadly, he was too damn entertained by her to care.

“Would you like to use my kitchen?” he asked, chuckling when she tried to play it off.

“I suppose I could do that,” she said, adding a little sigh at