Honeymoon from Hell I (Honeymoon from Hell 1)

“Are you done yet?”

“No! Just keep your eyes closed,” he said, trying not to panic, but it was a quickly losing battle.

Shit!

“Is everything okay?”

He glanced over his shoulder to make sure that Haley was still on the bed and completely oblivious to just how badly he’d managed to fuck this up. When he spotted her, lying there still wearing the blindfold he’d made for her and that sexy little number that she’d been wearing last night when he’d found her hopping around the hotel room and cursing

her bag, he nearly sighed with relief.

“Everything’s fine,” he said soothingly as he returned his attention back to the Jacuzzi tub only to release another string of curses when he realized that the bubbles were now pouring over the top of the tub and onto the white marble tile floor below.

Shit!

Everything was fine. This was not the fucking curse, but just bad luck. They were just having a bit of bad luck that was all, he silently chanted to himself as he reached over and once again fumbled with the controllers for the jets, but he couldn’t figure out how to shut the damn things off. Not knowing what else to do, he reached over and turned the water off, but that didn’t seem to help.

Shit!

Desperate to fix this before it ruined everything, he reached over the candles he’d placed around the tub and grabbed the stack of folded towels housekeeping had left for them. He tossed them on the floor to soak up the mess, which probably would have helped if he hadn’t knocked several of the candles down in the process.

It probably also wouldn’t have hurt if he’d known that bubbles from the bubble bath solution were flammable under the right circumstances, something he was thinking about four hours later as he stood in the crowded parking lot, staring down at the waterlogged, burnt remains of their suitcases that hotel security had dropped at his feet a few minutes ago along with a polite request that they would perhaps be comfortable staying somewhere else.

“It was a really sweet gesture,” Haley said as she sat on the hood of his truck, shifting the blanket wrapped around her so that she could push her glasses back up her soot covered nose.

He didn’t say anything, because there really was nothing to say.

He simply continued to stand there, staring down at their ruined bags as he waited for the fire department to search what was left of their hotel room for his car keys so that he could drive Haley home and put an end to their honeymoon from hell.

Chapter 8

“Oh God, will this nightmare never end?” Jason asked, banging his forehead against the steering wheel as she sat there, chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to figure out exactly where they were.

She reached for her phone only remembering too late that it had been a casualty of the fire. She pushed her glasses back up her nose as she looked around the country road that the detour signs had pointed them towards, idly wondering what the odds of running into Big Foot were. As she glanced over her shoulder into the pitch-black night, she had to admit that they were probably pretty good.

Then again, their chances of running into an ax murderer were probably high as well, she realized as she discretely reached over and locked her door.

“Can you see if there’s a flashlight in the glove compartment?” he asked, giving her the distraction that she needed.

“Sure,” she said, pasting a smile on her face that he probably couldn’t see as she opened the glove compartment and felt her way around until she found what felt like a flashlight. “Found it!”

“Does it work?”

“Yes!” she said, smiling as a beam of light suddenly cut through the dreary night only to groan seconds later when the light flickered out, once again leaving them in complete darkness. “Oh.”

“Shit,” he muttered with a sigh, making her wish that she could see his expression, because she had a really bad feeling where this was heading.

“I’m going to go find a gas station or something and call for a pickup truck, sweetheart. Stay here and lock the doors,” he announced, confirming her suspicions.

Yeah, that wasn’t happening.

As soon as she heard the telltale sounds of his car door opening, she was out of her seat and scrambling after him, uncaring that she was only wearing a soot-stained nightie and a blanket. Before he could shut his door, she was jumping out of the car and-

“Ouch!” she gasped, hopping around on her good foot as she blindly reached out, looking for something to grab onto, only to realize that somehow during the last thirty seconds she’d managed to move away from the truck and her husband and was now hopping around blindly in the mud without the security of her blanket.

“Haley?”

“I’m fine!” she promised him as she continued to blindly hop around, desperately searching for something to grab hold of.

“Where are you?”

“Close by?” She hoped at least.

“I see,” he murmured and she really hoped that was the case, because she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep this up.

*-*-*-*

“Haley?” he said, squinting into the darkness.

“Over here!” she said in between “Ows” and “Owies.”

Raking his fingers through his hair in frustration, he took a step towards the direction of the last “Owie,” only to stop and glare into the darkness when the sound of the “Owie,” shifted to his right. He took a step in that direction only to come to a halt when the “owies” abruptly changed direction once again.

“Uh, Haley?” he said, coming to a halt as the direction of her “owies” once again changed. “Think you could stay still for a minute?”

“I’m trying!” she called out, sounding out of breath.

“What are you doing?” he asked, keeping her talking so that he could follow the sound of her voice.

“Ummm, nothing?” she said with an odd squishing sound accompany her words.

He followed the sounds to his right and then to the left and back again until finally, he had his arms wrapped around her. He pulled her close and pressed a kiss against her forehead as he swept her off her feet and-

“Oh, shit!” he managed to get out just as the world fell away beneath his feet.

He managed to tighten his grip around Haley a split second before his feet went out from under him. He hit the ground with a pained grunt, the air rushed out of his lungs from the impact as he did his best to keep his hold around Haley. A pained groan burst from his lips as he lay there in the dark, and apparently in a large puddle, wondering how he’d managed to fuck this up so quickly and so thoroughly.

Granted, this trip had been a spur of the moment kind of thing, but he’d thought he’d done a damn good job of giving Haley the perfect honeymoon given the circumstances. Well, perfect for her. Haley was so damn easy going, so easy to please and he’d never been happier about that than when he’d had to come up with a honeymoon at the last minute. While most women would have been disappointed with a trip to an amusement park for their honeymoon, Haley had loved it.

What had started off with a glance at a brochure for New Hampshire had somehow ended with the two of them sprawled out in the mud at five in the morning in the middle of nowhere with no fucking clue how to fix this. Their cellphones were fried, they were wearing the only clothes they had and they didn’t have any blankets, food, or a fucking clue where they were.

He’d officially just given his wife the most fucked up honeymoon in the history of the Bradford family, and considering all the horror stories that he’d heard over the years from his father, uncles and cousins, that was saying a lot. There really was no coming out of this ahead, he realized, closing his eyes in defeat as he lay there, holding his half-naked wife in a huge puddle in the middle of the night, wondering where he’d gone wrong. If he worked for his father every weekend and picked up a few shifts after work during the week, he should be able to save up enough money to take her on a honeymoon that she would never forget.

Not that she was likely to forget this one anytime soon, he thought with a groan as the skies suddenly opened back up, forcing him to get up before they drowned. Keeping his arms firmly locked around his trembling wife, he carefully stood up and headed in the direction that he hoped his truck was in because the last thing they needed tonight was to get lost in the woods during a thunderstorm.

Five minutes and several failed attempts later, he finally managed to find his truck. Grateful that something was finally going in his favor, he opened the door and carefully helped his trembling wife

inside, who was actually starting to scare him a bit.

“Haley?” he said as he climbed in after her, trying not to panic when she didn’t respond. “Baby, are you okay?” he asked, reaching for her only to curse and pull her back in his arms when he felt her body violently trembling.

“I’m so sorry, Haley,” he mumbled as he ran his hands over her body, desperately trying to soothe her. “I’m so sorry that I fucked this up. I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll make this up to you one day, I promise. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, sweetheart, and we