Honeymoon from Hell IV (Honeymoon from Hell 4)

Well, it really hadn’t been all that bad considering that Darrin had managed to make her scream his name at least three times before Uncle Jared had managed to barge in and put an end to their night. Darrin on the other hand probably wasn’t as understanding as she was since that she may have teased and tormented him to the brink of orgasm for over an hour. She’d just been on the verge of finally giving him what he wanted when Uncle Jared strolled into the room and threw a pair of shorts at Darrin’s head and tossed her one of Darrin’s shirts and a pair of his boxers before he granted them exactly thirty seconds to get dressed.

Knowing better than to argue and waste precious seconds, she’d quickly got dressed an

d dove under the covers, deciding that it was for the best that she pretend that the man that had always stepped up, prepared to kick her ass when she screwed up and was there for her when her father wasn’t hadn’t just walked in on her while she was on her hands and knees giving her husband a-

“So, why don’t we take this downstairs and get a bite to eat while we talk, hmm?” Uncle Jared suggested, sounding hopeful and making her cringe as she pulled the pillow tighter over her head and prayed that her burning cheeks didn’t set the bed on fire.

She was just about to see if it was humanly possible to burrow into the mattress when she heard the unmistakable sound of a pair of handcuffs clicking shut and a heavy sigh that she was all too familiar with. It was followed by a brief silence and another familiar sigh before Uncle Jared asked, “Really?”

“Really,” she heard Darrin say firmly as she felt the bed shift seconds before her pillow was taken from her and tossed aside.

Without a word, mostly because she was trying to avoid making eye contact with Uncle Jared, she wrapped her arms around Darrin’s shoulders as he picked her up, buried her face against his bare shoulder and tried to pretend that she was in her happy place.

“You can’t avoid this conversation forever,” Uncle Jared said, not really sounding all that angry that for someone that had just been handcuffed to the bed by his nephew.

“I’m willing to give it a shot,” Darrin drawled, tightening his hold around her as he headed for their bedroom door.

She kept her face buried against his chest as he carried her downstairs and into the living room, carefully avoiding the boxes that took up most of the space and made his way to the only available seat since the couch had been the first thing that they’d brought in. She had been the second. Darrin had carried her inside their new house, laid her down on the couch and told her to keep her ass there as the men in his family unloaded the boxes and stacked them around the house. That was two months ago and they were still unpacking the damn boxes and trying to get the house ready for their babies.

Their babies…

She still couldn’t believe that in a few months they were going to be parents. She thought this day would never come, but thanks to Zoe and Trevor, they were going to have a family of their own very soon.

Darrin chuckled as he sat down. “Thinking about the babies?”

“How did you know?” she asked, not bothering to lift her head, but instead simply closed her eyes as she relaxed in his arms.

“Because,” he said, pausing to kiss the top of her head with a smile of his own, “I can feel you smiling.”

“I can’t help it,” she admitted, turning her head so that she could press a kiss against his shoulder as she hugged him tighter, so unbelievably happy that she was actually tearing up.

That is, until she heard the long-suffering sigh.

“He’s down here, isn’t he?” she asked, closing her eyes in defeat as she pressed her forehead against his shoulder and accepted the inevitable.

They weren’t getting rid of Uncle Jared until he did what he’d come to do and unfortunately for her, she’d already heard this tale of Bradford bullshit a million times before thanks to the fact that she’d grown up with them.

“How’d you get the handcuffs off?” Darrin asked as he began to caress her arm and shoulder with his fingertips.

“Picked the lock,” Uncle Jared answered casually as though they were talking about the weather as she did her best to pretend that she was invisible.

“We already know the story,” Darrin for some reason decided to remind him when they both knew that there was nothing on this earth that was going to stop Uncle Jared from retelling this story.

“Then you’re not going on a honeymoon?” Uncle Jared asked in a challenging tone, practically daring Darrin to try and bullshit him.

“Once the babies arrive we won’t have a chance to go on a honeymoon,” Darrin said evenly, deciding that arguing with Uncle Jared was the way to go.

She sighed heavily as she settled in for the long haul, because if there was one thing that she knew about Bradfords, it was that they were all stubborn, especially the males.

But especially Uncle Jared.

“You’ll have plenty of volunteers to watch them when the time comes,” Uncle Jared shot back.

Darrin was quiet for a moment before he said, “The stories are bullshit.”

“You really think so?” Uncle Jared asked, sounding amused, which was not a good thing, because that meant that he would do everything he could to prolong the torture now just for shits and giggles.

“Yes,” Darrin said with absolutely no hesitation as she tried, and failed, to resist the urge to pinch the bastard to stop him from making this worse.

“Ow! What the hell?” the big baby snapped as she shifted on his lap, careful to keep her face averted since she’d decided that she’d probably die or mortification if she made eye contact with Uncle Jared ever again.

“You know what!” she hissed softly for his ears only, trying to get the stubborn bastard to stop before things got worse.

“It’s bullshit!” her husband snapped, obviously deciding that continuing arguing with his uncle at three in the morning when he had to be at work in three hours was an excellent idea.

“Is it really?” Uncle Jared asked with a hint of challenge in his voice, which of course prompted Darrin to snap, “It is!”

By this point she knew that it was a losing battle. So it was with a heavy heart, and her gaze shifted away from Uncle Jared, that she climbed off Darrin’s lap, “accidentally” stepping on his foot in the process, multiple times, and headed towards the kitchen, deciding that she might as well make breakfast.

She’d just decided to make pancakes when Uncle Jared said, “Once upon a time,” which was cut off with, “Oh, give me a fucking break,” from her husband.

“I’m trying to tell you a goddamn story here!”

“Then tell it and drop the bullshit!” Darrin said, finally accepting the fact that they weren’t getting rid of his uncle anytime soon.

“I will if you’d shut the hell up and let me get to it!”

“Then get to it!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head and sighed heavily as she reached for a large mixing bowl while she heard Uncle Jared theatrically clear his throat from the other room.

“As I was saying, Once upon a time…”

Chapter 2

The Start of Yet Another Bradford Tradition…

The First Honeymoon from Hell

Eleven months after the start of the first Bradford tradition:

The Bradford Wedding

“Shut up.”

“I’m bored,” James said with a long-suffering sigh as he picked up a wood shaving and began peeling layers off it.

“You could always help me,” Robert pointed out, chuckling when his brother leveled a horrified glare on him.

“And you could always finish this tomorrow and go with me into town for a drink tonight,” James suggested, which was the same suggestion that he’d made every night for the past six months even though he already knew that it was pointless.

“I can’t,” Robert said, leaning over and tilting his head to the side to make sure that the initials he’d carved on the top of the trunk were perfect.

“You really could,” James pointed out absently as he gazed around the candle lit workroom.

“I could,” Robert admitted with a smile as he stood up.

“But, you’re not going to,” James finished for him, shaking his head in disgust, because he really couldn’t understand why Robert would rather spend the night with his wife and children instead of in town, drinking, playing cards and flirting with every woman that looked his way.

“No,” he said, tilting his head to the other side as he ran his hand over the top of the trunk, making sure that the finish was