With This Secret
“Stolen goods, you mean,” I corrected automatically.
“Yes, yes, stolen goods,” he agreed shamelessly. “But recently, well—uh—I had some troubles along the way so I h-had to ask him, you know—to borrow some cash. I got a little behind in repayments, so he took the opportunity to change our agreement. He says he’ll write my debt off in exchange for you. I told him over my dead body, and he said that it was my choice how I wanted it. Whether I was dead or alive, he was going to have you. What do you want me to do?”
I shook my head in disbelief. “What do I want you to do?”
“I’ll do whatever you want me to do. You decide. I’m happy to sacrifice myself for you. Just say the words and I’ll save him the trouble and kill myself.”
I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers against my temples. “How much do you owe him, Dad?”
In the dead silence, I snapped my eyes open and stared at my father.
“It doesn’t matter how much. The point is he doesn’t want the money back.”
“How much, Dad?”
For the first time he looked shifty. “Half a million.”
“What?” I gasped.
“I mean that’s with interest and penalties. I only took about a hundred thousand.”
“Oh, sweet Jesus,” I muttered, as my knees gave way and I landed in a heap on the cold hard floor of our bakery back room. “We’ll have to call the police.”
He made a strangled sound of desperation. “The police cannot help. They cannot get to him. He is too powerful. All the top officers and judges are in his back pocket. All it will do is get me arrested for moving stolen goods.”
I took a deep breath and laying my hands on the floor, I pushed myself up. I was strong. I could overcome this. I looked into my father’s eyes. God only knew why, after all the shit he had pulled on me and Mom, but I still carried a deep sense of loyalty to him. He was a bad father, but he was still my father. The only family I had left.
“We could leave Bridgeport and run away together to a different city. Let him have the bakery and the house. I have some money saved. It will keep us going until we get settled,” I said.
“I sold the house and the bakery is worthless,” he deadpanned. “I’m sorry, Bee, but you don’t know Litvinenko. He will never stop searching for us and when he does find us, he won’t be so kind to me … or you. Now you still have a chance to walk away from all this with little lost. Be good to him and if history is any guide, he will tire of you quickly, and you will walk away with a wardrobe of fine clothes, and more jewelry than the Queen of England wore on her coronation day.”
“Do you hear yourself, Dad?” My voice sounded raw and hoarse with his betrayal.
“You think handing you over to him is not hurting me? It’s tearing me apart,’ he demanded, “But what can I do. We have to somehow find a way to survive this.”
“And the only way for us to survive this mess you have created is for me to become his whore?” I asked bitterly.
He flinched. “Don’t talk like that, Bianca. You’re not a whore. He wants you. He really wants you and he’s promised to treat you like a princess. It’s not like he’s an old man or anything. He’s just thirty-nine. I promise it won’t last long. He doesn’t keep his women for long, but in exchange for a few months with him, you will have access to more money than you could ever need. Play your cards right and you will never need to work another day in your life. I’ve made you suffer for so long because I couldn’t pro-”
“Did I fucking complain?” I screamed at him. “Did I ever, even for one second complain when we went hungry, or when we didn’t have enough for me to go with the other kids on a school trip, or when Mom had to wrap presents from the dollar store for my birthdays? How could you do this to me, Dad? How could you destroy me this way?” I couldn’t breathe. I felt as if I was suffocating. My own father …
Silence.
We both stared at the other, tears rolling down our faces.
“What can I do?” His voice broke. “Help me, please. Tell me how to fix it. I’ll do anything.”
“How about we both die?” I asked him.
The expression on his face was incredulous. No matter what happened, or who suffered, my father wanted to carry on living his life.
“What kind of life would it be anyway if you have to live with the fact that you sold your daughter off to a monster like him?” I taunted.