Fight or Flight

His hands relaxed. “Okay.”

Wanting to dispel the sudden tension between us, I mused, “I’ve never had sex in my bed, you know.”

Just as I’d hoped, despite his misgivings, the idea that he would be the first guy in my current bed appealed to his inner alpha.

The car jolted forward, moving faster toward town and my bed.

Sixteen

It would be an understatement to say we were both eager to get back to my apartment. Several times I had to ask Caleb to slow down on our short drive back into the city. He muttered expletives under his breath but did as I asked. I was almost laughing with giddiness as he drove down Mount Vernon Street.

“This is where you live?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Hmm.”

I didn’t know what the “hmm” meant, so I looked for a parking space instead. “There’s a space.” I pointed to an empty spot a minute walk from my place. “We can walk to the apartment.” It was a miracle to get a parking spot on my street, so we’d need to take what we could get.

Once he’d parked, Caleb got out and hurried around to the passenger side to help me out. His grip on my hand tightened and I found myself being practically hauled over onto the tree-lined sidewalk as Caleb pressed the key fob to lock the Maserati.

“Where is your apartment?” he demanded.

I giggled. “Keep walking. I’ll let you know when we’re there.”

He grunted and proceeded to drag me.

“Caleb.” I laughed. “I’m in heels.”

And just like that he abruptly stopped, came at me, and—before I could blink—swung me up into his arms like a groom would hold his bride to carry her across the threshold. I let out a girlish noise of shock, looping my arms around his neck as he began striding down the street like I weighed nothing.

“You are such a Neanderthal.” I laughed.

He grinned at me, a flash of white teeth in the dimly lit street. “You love it.”

“I’m not going to lie—this is hot. You’re very strong,” I purred, reaching over to bite his earlobe.

His grip on me tightened and his pace quickened. “You’re five foot nothing. You weigh nothing.”

That was nice but such a lie. “I have an ass and boobs. I weigh something.”

He ignored me and kept walking. “Where is this bloody place?”

Smiling at his impatience, I let go of his neck to wave at my front stoop, when the sight of a dark figure standing up on the steps made me falter. “Caleb.”

My tone made him slow.

“Do you know that person?”

The dark figure became clearer as he began walking toward us slowly.

My heart rate suddenly accelerated, and as if he felt it, Caleb asked in concern, “Ava?”

“Put me down,” I whispered. “Caleb, put me down.”

He immediately and gently lowered me to my feet.

And suddenly I was face-to-face with my past, feeling so cold it iced the sexual heat right out of me. “What are you doing here?”

The man stepped under a streetlamp, illuminating his scowl as his gaze bounced between me and Caleb. “I needed to see you.”

“Ava?” Caleb asked me, his hand resting on my lower back, reminding me he was there if I needed him.

I leaned into his touch. “Caleb, this is Nick. Nick, this is Caleb.”

“Nick?” he said, his tone suggesting he remembered me telling him about Nick.

“What do you want?”

“I …” Nick ran a hand through his hair, clearly agitated. “I got your address from your mom. I, uh … I came to apologize. To talk. In private.”

“No,” I said, my tone harsh. “Go home, Nick.” I grabbed Caleb’s hand and began leading him away from the blast from my past.

“Ava.” Nick grabbed my arm. “Please.”

Suddenly Caleb was between us, his hand on Nick’s chest. He seemed to tower over him even though he was only an inch or two taller than my ex. “She said, go home.”

Nick took a wary step back. “I’ll leave you be. But I’m not going home. We need to talk.”

Before I could reply Nick strode away, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunched at his ears.

Shaken, angry, confused, I twisted away and hurried up my stoop. When Caleb didn’t follow, I called back to him. “Are you coming or not?”

He moved toward me, tailing me up to the front door and inside, our footsteps echoing on the stairs as I led him up to the first floor to my apartment. As soon as we were inside, I locked the door and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt in my hand, pulling him toward the back of the apartment, to my bedroom. I pulled him down into my kiss, not expecting him to push me away, his face flushed with anger, not passion.

“This might just be sex, babe, but it’s supposed tae be sex between just you and me. If you think we’re doing this when your mind is on another man, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Shocked that he’d think that, I shook my head in denial. “I don’t want him like that. It’s been a long time since I ever wanted him like that. But seeing him brings up a lot of pain that I don’t want to deal with right now. I don’t want to think about the fact that he and Gem were the only people that kept me sane growing up with parents who neglected me to the point of putting me in harm’s way. They protected me, not my mom and dad. Nick protected me. He said he loved me. We all went to college together. He proposed to me when we graduated. It was supposed to be forever and it wasn’t. So I don’t want to think about how the two people I trusted most in my life—my fiancé and my best friend—told me a year after he’d proposed that they’d been cheating on me for months and then promptly ran off together to get married. And I don’t want to think about how I never forgave them and how now I can never forgive her because she’s dead. And I don’t want to think about why that man is in my city now when I never wanted to see him again.

“I just want you, Caleb. The one man I’ve ever met who hasn’t lied to me. Who hasn’t made promises he can’t keep and that I don’t want him to keep.” And I didn’t, I realized with a blast of cold reality. These past few days Caleb had confused me. The passion between us confused me. But Nick was a swift and much needed reminder that this kind of love just hurt too damn much and never seemed to be worth it in the end. I didn’t want to feel anything beyond desire for Caleb. And I wouldn’t. “You’re right. This, between us, will only ever be about sex. But it is just between you and me. I am never thinking about anyone else but you when we’re together. How could I?” I whispered, hoping he saw how much I wanted him. “And right now I need you to make me forget that tomorrow I have to wake up knowing that asshole is in my city.”

Apparently, I didn’t need to ask him twice.

Perhaps it was only the light warmth of the morning sun tickling my face that woke me up the next day. It certainly felt like it as consciousness seeped in, rescuing me from a dream where I was chasing Gem through Phoenix while Nick chased me. I’d felt terror that I’d never catch her and fear that he would catch me.

However, when I opened my eyes slowly, blinking against the light flooding the room, the first thing that came into focus was Caleb’s pale blue eyes staring at me with unmasked curiosity.

The evening before came rushing back and as I shifted under the covers I felt our physical activities in the slight ache in my muscles.

I had attacked the poor guy last night.

Not that he’d been complaining. He gave as good as he got.

If I was being honest with myself, I’d half expected to wake up and find him gone since he’d been so uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping over in the first place, but you wouldn’t think it of him with his casual, at-ease pose, lying on his side on my bed gazing at me. I suddenly wondered if it was his eyes on my face that had woken me rather than the morning sun.

“Hey,” I said, my voice hoarse with sleep.

“Morning.” He reached out and brushed my hair off my face in a tender action that made me snuggle deeper into my pillow. It felt nice, but my resolve from last night hadn’t deserted me just because I’d woken up to Mr. Sexy brushing my hair off my face.