Fight or Flight

I couldn’t even pretend to be surprised that she’d worked it out, probably long before I did. “How did you know?”

“The way you talk about him. Especially now, after how he was with me that night … it changed things for you. You love him. And I know not seeing him all week has you paranoid and upset. Go work it out.”

Emotion choked me, so all I could do was nod.

Harper smiled a real smile for the first time in weeks. “He loves you too, Ava. I know it. Make him admit it. Please. One of us needs to get a happily ever after.” When she just continued to stare at me, I fully comprehended her meaning.

“What? Now?”

“He lives in this building, right?” She smiled.

My pulse instantly sped up at the thought of just showing up at Caleb’s place. There was no denying he was giving me the brush-off this week and I knew that it was because of everything he’d told me about Carissa. He had made himself vulnerable to me and I was pretty sure it had spooked him.

However, I knew Harper was right. I couldn’t go on pretending I didn’t love him and I definitely wanted to stop running away from my feelings.

“Okay.”

Harper grinned and grabbed me by the shoulders. “You can do this. Go. I’ll get all the paperwork signed for this place, and if you and Caleb work things out, text me and I’ll just head back to the apartment.”

“Are you sure?” An angry swarm of butterflies suddenly erupted in my belly. “Oh, I feel a little sick.”

“That’s because this matters.” She turned me around to face the door and then slapped my ass. “Go get him, tiger.”

I rolled my eyes but released a nervous little laugh that made me feel marginally better.

By the time the elevator took me up to the sixteenth floor, however, my heart was racing so fast I thought I might pass out. Breathing in and out slowly as I stood outside his apartment door, I fought for calm, and reminded myself that, no matter what, this was Caleb. I could trust him to be totally honest with me and I’d have closure, one way or another.

I rang the doorbell and felt flutters in my throat at the sound of footsteps coming toward me on the other side of the wall.

Caleb pulled open the door and froze at the sight of me.

He was wearing a plain black T-shirt and worn blue jeans. Last week his beard was starting to become an actual beard—not that I’d minded—but he’d trimmed it. Maybe even that morning. His hair was wet, as if he’d only recently gotten out of the shower.

My eyes finally found his after perusing him hungrily.

Caleb wasn’t looking at me hungrily in return. He looked pissed. “What are you doing here?”

Without giving him a chance to shut the door on me, I stepped inside and walked toward the living room, seeing it was empty. “Are we alone?”

“Jamie’s out. And I repeat, what are you doing here?”

I turned to face him, unhappiness and anger piercing me at the way he was staring at me. Like I was a mere acquaintance who had decided to inconvenience him on a Sunday morning. “Harper is interested in a studio in your building. We were here anyway, and you’ve been avoiding me, so I thought I’d drop by and ask why.” Thankfully, I sounded much calmer than I felt.

His expression turned almost pitying and I think I loathed him as much as I loved him in that moment. “You know why, Ava.”

Inwardly, I flinched, feeling a painful crack down the middle of my chest. “Too much of a coward to just come out and say it?” I whispered.

“We aren’t in a relationship. We dinnae need tae offer each other explanations or owe each other a conversation. I thought my lack of communication spoke for itself. I no longer want tae sleep with you.” His eyes were hard, flat, his features carefully lacking in expression.

And I knew with soul-deep certainty that Caleb Scott was lying to me.

“Liar,” I whispered.

His eyes narrowed as he walked toward me. “I never took you for the clingy type. You knew what this was and you were good with it.”

I wanted to smack the unemotional look right off his face and shake the flatness out of his voice. “We both know that it changed. And we both know why you’re running scared now.”

Caleb shrugged. “I’m not running scared. I’m just done.”

“You’re in love with me.” I couldn’t hold back my emotion anymore.

He just stared at me. Giving me nothing.

So I wrenched the words out, hoping that he’d crack knowing what they cost me. “And I’m so in love with you,” I whispered. Sadly. My heart breaking because those words should be whispered in elation. Not in sorrow and regret.

Because he was making me regret them with every second that passed.

Especially when his eyes turned pitying again. “I dinnae. And I’m not going tae feel bad, because we agreed this was casual.”

“What happened to our friendship?” I seethed now. “Or is this the way you treat your friends?”

“I think we both knew that as soon as one of us lost interest in sex with the other that the friendship would die.”

So matter of fact.

So cold.

“I don’t believe you.”

His eyes lit with anger and I almost rejoiced at the sign of emotion. “Then believe this. I’ve got someone coming tae the apartment this morning.”

I felt like I might throw up. “Someone?”

“Aye. Someone, Ava. Someone who is going tae stick tae the rules.”

Liar.

“And who is this someone?”

“Jen.” He answered immediately.

Jen Granton? Yeah. He was lying. My nausea eased. “That’s a little pathetic, Caleb.”

Still, the thought that he might have started sleeping with anyone already made tears prick my eyes. I hated him for it. “You were just going to start sleeping with someone else without telling me this was over?”

For a moment he was silent and then he looked away, as if he couldn’t bear to stare at me any longer.

“Stop lying,” I said. “Jen isn’t on her way over.”

“If she was, it would be none of your business,” he snapped, striding toward me suddenly, looking furious, masking what I knew with certainty was panic. “We’re no longer each other’s business.”

I shook my head, frustrated that he wouldn’t just admit the truth. Caleb was usually so brutally honest that I didn’t know how to handle him like this. I had to make him admit that he loved me, but how? “Why would you want me to think you’re with her?”

“Maybe because I am.”

“Nah. You’ve developed champagne tastes, Caleb. You can’t go back to cheap wine.”

Something like admiration flickered in his gaze and he smirked. “Arrogance doesn’t become you, Ava.”

“Yes, it does.” I stepped into his personal space and watched him tense and glower instantly. “You want me right now.”

He put his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me away from him, dropping his hands like I’d scalded him. “I dinnae know how tae make this any clearer. We’re done. You’ve forced the conversation so here it is. I dinnae want you anymore because you broke the rules. You think I didn’t know how you were starting tae feel after your tantrum about Carissa?”

“Tantrum?” I sucked in a breath at the word. “Screw you, Caleb.”

“You’ve done that.” He moved away, walking toward the window, his tone cold and sardonic. “Now find someone new tae do it with.”

“Stop this,” I demanded. “Just … stop! I know you’re scared. I’m scared. But we’ve found something amazing here. Don’t throw it away because of what she did. If I’m willing to be brave enough to give something real between us a shot, then shouldn’t you be too?”

He glanced over his shoulder at me, his expression shadowed by the glare of daylight from the window. Then he fully turned, strode back toward me, and his voice was as icy as his eyes. “I’ve tried tae be as diplomatic as I’m capable of here. Since it’s not working, here’s the truth. I could never love you, Ava. Is that clear enough? Never.”