Slumber (The Fade 1)

This time I slept in the extra bedroom by myself. Or tried to sleep. I sat huddled on the bed, my brain refusing to shut down as I went over and over Wolfe’s warning.

What would Haydyn say? I worried my lip.

I shook my head, snorting out loud. Haydyn was a romantic. I knew exactly what she’d say. She’d tell me to throw off all my concerns. I held one palm out. On the one hand there was the pain I’d experience when I inevitably lost Wolfe. I held my right palm out. On the other, there was the pain I’d experience at having to watch him live his life with another woman; the children he’d have down the years that wouldn’t be mine.

“This is it, Rogan,” I whispered at myself angrily. “You’ve managed to overcome the fact that he’s the son of the man who killed your family but you can’t overcome your own fears?” I was a coward. How could I be a coward after all I’d gone through? Yes, I had made mistakes! Yes, there had been moments during this entire rescue mission that I’d fumbled and hated myself for it. But I retrieved the plant! I escaped ruthless gypsies, dirty rookery thugs, a perverted mountain man, and saved L’s life to boot! I’d even brought two star-crossed lovers together. I had faced a great deal in my life. How could I not find the courage to do the simplest thing of all…

… love Wolfe?

I loved Wolfe.

I loved Wolfe…

… it be as simple as that, I heard L’s smirking, know-it-all voice in my head.

At the sound of the door handle rattling, I froze. When it rattled again I slid one leg out of the bed, thinking of the hunting knife I still carried in my pack. Just as my foot touched the cold wooden floor, the door opened and shut quickly, a familiar shadowed figure leaning against it.

“Wolfe?” I whispered, half relieved, half stunned.

The floorboards creaked as he tip-toed over to the bed, sliding in next to me without a by your leave.

“Wolfe!” I tried to act outraged but inside my heart was hammering, my body already tingling with anticipation.

His eyes sparkled in the light from the moon outside the window and he grinned at me, playfully yanking me under him. My cry of surprise was swallowed by his mouth.

Oh well, I thought. Hadn’t I already decided? I smiled against his lips and kissed him back. When he took a breath, I eased a hand down his face, afraid to stop touching him. “What made you think I’d be amenable to you sneaking into my room?”

Wolfe shrugged, still grinning wickedly down at me. “I thought perhaps I’d finally gotten through to you. And… I don’t know.” He frowned now. “Something told me you wanted me here.”

My lips parted in shocked realisation. “Your magic? Can you read my mind now?”

He laughed against my cheek, shaking his head, his words whispering seductively against my ear, “No. Intuition again.” He nibbled my earlobe and I shivered. “I gather, my intuition assumed correct. You want me here?”

I gasped under him as he deliberately tried to seduce an answer from me. With a growl of indignation I pushed his head back. “What do you think?” I replied sarcastically, pushing him onto his back, straddling him. “I’m not throwing you out am I.”

***

Wolfe looked guilty as he leaned over me after our lovemaking. I frowned up at him and reached out to smooth his furrowed brow. “What?”

He exhaled slowly. “You might be carrying my child, Rogan. You have to marry me now.”

I took more pleasure than I should have at the way he almost closed his eyes, his features wincing, waiting for the coming hysterics. But before Wolfe had even come into my room – intent on seducing me to his will, the scoundrel! – I had decided I was going to marry him. I wanted a life with him, even at the risk of losing everything we would build together. I wasn’t a coward. I could doubt myself and the choices I had made in this life, but deep down, I had always prided myself on the fact that I wasn’t a weak-willed society girl. I wasn’t a coward. Not yesterday. Not today. And definitely not tomorrow.

I nodded sombrely up at Wolfe, teasing him. “I guess it does.”

His eyes widened. “You mean it?”

I nodded, chuckling now. “Yes.”

“You’ll marry me?”

“Yes.”

He cried out happily, pulling me into arms and I laughed, trying to shush him before he woke the Dena’s and really created a scandal. “I don’t care.” He kissed me, his hand resting over my chest so my heart thumped against his palm. “You’re mine now. I’m allowed to be here.”

Wolfe relaxed into sleep easily, now that I had agreed to marry him. My heart was still beating so hard, my brain still buzzing with all the things I now had to explain to Haydyn when she woke, that I watched over him, not able to close my eyes. Before the sun rose, I woke Wolfe and he reluctantly got out of bed and began dressing. He kissed me one more time, and then another time, and another… until eventually I laughed and pushed him towards the door. Just as he was about to leave I realised I hadn’t told him something.

“Wolfe,” I called out quietly.

He turned back expectantly.

I smiled, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. “I love you.”

At my quietly spoken declaration, Wolfe’s eyes closed, relief softening his features, his whole face growing younger before my very eyes. I suddenly remembered he was only twenty one. A tension, I hadn’t even known was there, visibly melted out of his body. Wolfe opened his eyes again; they were light with deep emotion. “I love you too. Have done ever since you punched Niall Tromskin on the nose for pushing Valena in the courtyard and making her cry.”

My jaw dropped at the revelation. “I was fourteen!”

With one last warm chuckle, Wolfe nodded and quickly left.

Chapter Thirty Two

With our love declared and our betrothal decided, Wolfe and I both galloped towards Silvera with renewed determination. There was nothing else worrying us now but the ever growing need to wake Haydyn up. I think Chaeron knew something had happened between me and Wolfe. To be fair I think the entire Guard knew, considering we stared at one another with loopy smiles on our faces.

Now all I wanted was for Haydyn to be well. If I saved her, and somehow managed to banish my nightmares of the Mountain Man, everything would be almost perfect.

I was glad when Wolfe found ways to stay the night with me. He was furious I was still having nightmares, and I feared at first it would cause a disagreement again, but instead he soothed me back to sleep with his presence. The nightmares didn’t go away. I wasn’t sure they would for a while, but at least when I woke up, I wasn’t alone. Wolfe snuck into my room at Mag’s Inn in Sabith Town, and as he tiptoed in, his eyes so happy and mischievous he looked more boy than man, I wondered if we’d ever grow weary of another. I also wondered about his other women but was too afraid to bring up the subject for fear of what it would do to my self-esteem. Wolfe had only ever had liaisons with beautiful women. Then again… he thought I was beautiful, and who was I to argue with that?

“You know,” Wolfe mused as he pressed kisses over my stomach. “I think I’m starting to miss you arguing with me.”

I huffed, grinning. “That can be easily remedied, Captain.”

I felt him grin against my skin. “Mm. I imagine it could.” He looked up abruptly, frowning. “One thing I keep wondering about…”

“Mm?”

“You’ve stopped objecting to being called Lady Rogan.”

I nodded, stroking my fingers through his hair as he crawled up my body. He braced himself above me. “Perhaps I came to the conclusion, on this quest, that I am a lady, despite circumstances of birth.”

“Finally.” He rolled his eyes mockingly.

I laughed. “Just because you came to this realisation before I did-”

“That’s not why I insisted on calling you Lady Rogan,” Wolfe interrupted.

I frowned. “Then why?”

Instead of answering, he kissed me, his tongue stroking deep into my mouth, tangling with mine, trapping me in whatever spell he had me under. “I insisted on it,” he breathed raggedly. “Because one day I knew you were going to be my wife, and I wanted you accustomed to being called Lady Rogan.”

“You’re lying,” I replied breathlessly. “How could you possibly know I’d ever come to terms with everything between us?”

“I didn’t have to know.” Those aquamarine eyes blazed down at me, all masculine arrogance and determination. “I always get what I want, Rogan. Always.”

“And what about what I want?”

Wolfe pressed a soft, tender kiss to my lips, the arrogance giving way to deep sincerity. “I’ll always give you what you want, Rogan. Always.”

***

We arrived in Silvera with a fierce burst of renewed energy. I galloped by Wolfe’s side, Chaeron and the men at our backs, as we tore through the city, through the marketplace and out past the palace to the cliffs. We ignored the cries of surprise and shock as we forced people from our paths. The Silverians watched in anxiety as we raced past them, their eyes troubled by our haste. The palace servants were even more surprised as Wolfe and I hurtled by them, having instructed Chaeron to stop with the Guard in the Palace Courtyard. We took off down a side entrance to the palace, out onto the rough trail that led us onto the Cliffside. Our horses, sensing our urgency kept their footing and made the half hour journey to the Land’s End Cottage in twenty; both our horses’ coats thick with sweat, our own clothes plastered to our skin.

I dismounted so fast I nearly fell, ignoring Wolfe calling out to me, as I thrust the door to the cottage open, startling Rowan, who stood in the hallway, a tray of sandwiches in her hands.

“Lady Rogan!” she gasped, her eyes alight with relief. “You’ve returned.”

“Where is she?” I demanded, not giving to pleasantries.

“Upstairs.” Rowan jerked the tray towards the narrow stairwell. “Valena is with-”

“Rogan!” Raj appeared in the doorway to the sitting room just as Wolfe appeared at my back. The healer hurried towards me. “You have it?”

I held up the pack. “I have it.”

My heart was pounding hard as we hurried up the stairwell to the large bedroom Haydyn loved. It was the view. She loved a view. The wide window looked out over the Silver Sea, like a master painting created by nature. I hugged Valena as she threw herself at me, my hands stroking her hair affectionately, while my eyes drank in the sight of Haydyn.

I felt a raw choking burn in my throat at how pale and slight she looked lying on the bed, her moon-coloured hair spread out on the pillow. “Oh haven,” I choked. “She looks-”

“You’re in time, Lady Rogan,” Raj reassured me, removing the blue plant from the pack. He breathed a sigh of relief and then turned to us all. “I hate to ask it of you but I need time alone with the Princezna to do this. I’ll require Valena’s help of course.”

I didn’t want to leave. I felt that old stubbornness take hold of my legs, gluing them to the ground. It was only when Wolfe’s arm came around me and was joined by another man’s hand on my lower back that I realised Matai was there. I hadn’t even seen him. I let them lead me out.

“Matai,” I mumbled as I was taken downstairs in a daze. I was exhausted, like my body could just float up into the air and drift away on the wind.

In the sitting room, Matai enveloped me in a tight hug. “Thank you, Rogan,” he whispered in my ear, hoarsely, grief and worry and heartache soaking every word. “Thank you so much.”

I gave him a watery smile and let Wolfe draw me into his arms. My head rested on his shoulder as we waited.

“We’re betrothed.” I heard Wolfe tell Matai. Clearly Matai was shocked by how intimate Wolfe and I were with one another.

“What?” Matai choked. “Dear haven, has the world gone topsy turvy?”

“Actually, yes,” I replied, turning my head on Wolfe’s chest to stare at Matai belligerently. “You should see it out there, Lord Matai. What a mess.”

“It’s not that bad,” Wolfe insisted, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

I sniffed. “It’s not that good, either.”

Matai lowered himself into a chair. He looked exhausted. “Tell me all that happened.”

And so that’s what we did, to pass the horribly anxious wait we had while Raj hurried to save Haydyn’s life.

***

I put it down to Haydyn’s love for the dramatic that instead of Raj coming down to tell us she was cured, that a tousled blonde head peeped around the doorframe of the sitting room, followed by a stunning face suddenly blooming with colour.

“HAYDYN!” I screeched like a little girl, pulling from Wolfe’s embrace and rushing to meet my best friend, who squealed and crossed the room to meet me. As we shook in each other’s arms, tears and snot mingling in our hysteria, no one would have guessed that the Princezna of Phaedra had only hours before been moments from death.

I pulled back, barely able to see her through my tears. “Look at you! Should you be out of bed?!”

“Not really,” Raj opined from the doorway, his eyebrows drawn together in consternation.

Haydyn shrugged, grinning widely. “I don’t care. My body hurts from not being used but I feel so awake! I’ve been sleeping forever, Rogan, don’t make me go back to bed.”

I laughed and pulled her tight, afraid to ever let go of her again. “Don’t ever do anything like that to me again.”

She huffed against my shoulder. “It’s not like I could help it! Oh, Rogan.” She pulled back now, her eyes brimming with love. “How can I ever thank you for what you did for me? Raj explained everything. How you went all the way to Alvernia, into the mountains, for the cure! Rogan…”