Into the Deep (Into the Deep 1)

“You’re not making this easy,” she told me softly, matter-of-factly.

I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly much too hot in my costume. Throat parched, I croaked, “What?”

She sighed and ducked her eyes away. “You’re his first love and you knock people out of the way of moving cars, and you want to be a cop, and you’re smart, and you’re confident, and you have the guys eating out of the palm of your hand every time you open your mouth … and now you’ve gone from pretty to every guy’s fantasy in a superhero costume. I want to hate you.” Her eyes lifted back to mine now. “I really want to hate you, but I can’t because Jake’s the one who wronged you. And maybe that’s part of the problem too.”

Seeing the real pain and concern in Melissa’s expression, I felt a need to reassure her somehow. As much as it hurt me to admit it to her, I found myself saying, “There’s nothing romantic between us anymore. According to Beck, you helped Jake get over what happened. He wouldn’t let me do that for him. I think that speaks volumes. You’re the one he loves.” Every word of it felt like a piece of me was being ripped out, but I pasted on a fake, breezy smile. “As for me, I have an appointment with a hot senior with a cool accent, so we’re all good.”

Melissa studied me, so I kept my smile light until she finally gave me her own shaky smile in return. She stayed with me as I ordered the drinks and helped me back to the table with them. The whole time we walked across the bar together, I felt Jake’s eyes burning into us. Not once did I meet them with my own. I was afraid if I let him look into me, he’d see I was just a little nudge from falling apart.

That’s why, as I settled down beside Claudia with our drinks, I leaned over and murmured into her ear that I wanted to leave early for the party.

“You okay?” she whispered back, scanning my face for the answer.

I gave her a subtle shake of my head. “I don’t want to be here.”

Claudia squeezed my hand under the table, instantly understanding. “We’ll finish these and go.”

The guys seemed a little confused that we weren’t staying to hear their set, but we promised we’d make it up to them another time. Claudia gave them the address of the party and they told us they’d see us there later. I didn’t look at Jake. Not once.

The sight of Aaron’s appreciative gaze when we walked into their party was a soothing balm to the burn in my chest from the heart-to-heart with Melissa. In a bid to get rid of the feeling completely, I got drunk. Claudia followed me right down the liquid path.

We were having a great time, laughing and dancing, the four of us in our own little bubble among the crowded party. The apartment was super swank with an open-plan living space and kitchen, floor-to-ceiling glass windows, and sliding doors that led out onto a balcony big enough to hold a good portion of the partygoers. All that plus free food and booze? No wonder the place was filled with people, most in costume. This made Claud and I feel a little less out of place. Aaron and Zach were in dark suits, hats, and sunglasses—the Blues Brothers. I thought that was cool.

Being drunk, I thought everything was cool.

It was a good few hours later and Claudia had disappeared with Zach, leaving me on the corner of their massive L-shaped couch with Aaron. When he started kissing me, I let him. I was drunk and fuzzy and hurt and confused and his kisses, his touch, let me forget all that. The kiss deepened and I cupped Aaron’s face, holding him to me, silently asking him to keep going. He was a great kisser and the way he caressed my upper arm with the tips of his fingers was nice.

When he finally let me up for air, he murmured, “Wow,” against my lips. I grinned, a little embarrassed that we’d been making out in public. I turned my head to make sure no one was paying attention and felt my muscles lock as I spotted Jake across the room with Melissa. My vision cleared and I suddenly felt very sober. He was staring straight at me, his face perfectly blank. My stomach flipped as he quickly looked away and frowned at something Melissa said to him.

“Hey, Charley,” Beck’s voice called from above. I twisted around to see him standing behind the couch. “We just got here. Do you know where Claudia is?”

I shook my head, frowning. “I haven’t seen her in a while. She’s not around?”

He shook his head.

“Let’s look for her.”

A hand gripped my leg and I looked back at Aaron. “She’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be back,” I promised and stood up, taking Beck’s hand as he helped me around the couch.

“You both had a lot to drink?” he asked, scowling down at me.

“We’re just having a good time.”

“With a bunch of guys you don’t know.”

“We didn’t know you,” I pointed out.

He sliced me an unamused look from the corner of his eyes but didn’t say anything. We searched the balcony and the bathroom, but no Claudia. I was beginning to get a little worried. Claudia wasn’t the kind of girl to lock herself in a bedroom with a guy she barely knew, so I moved down the hall toward the bedrooms with renewed determination to find her.

Just as we were drawing to a stop at the first door, the second bedroom door opened. Claudia strolled out giggling at someone behind her, readjusting her bustier and hair. “I didn’t think I was going to get that back on,” she laughed, still unaware of us.

“I’m a master with women’s apparel,” Zach smirked as he emerged from the room. His chin lifted when he caught sight of us and seeing his expression, Claudia spun around and jerked in surprise.

I raised an eyebrow at her, completely shocked that she’d gone far enough with Zach to lose clothes. It was unlike her, and it hit me that I’d been so busy with my own problems, I’d completely missed the fact that Claudia was going through something too. The tension magically disappeared out of her body and she threw Beck a flirty smile and said, “What? You were the one who said I was a good girl. Not me.” She brushed past us, a confused Zach following in her wake.

I needed to have a serious talk with my girl.

Feeling his tension beside me, I glanced up at Beck. His jaw was taut and his hand clenched his beer bottle so tight, it was a wonder the thing didn’t shatter.

“Beck …” I didn’t know what to say because I honestly didn’t know what was going on between them.

However, I might as well have been a ghost.

“Fuck it,” Beck muttered. He turned and strode back into the party without a word to me.

As soon as I shook myself out of the confusing scene, I wandered back into the party to find Beck had a girl pressed against the wall, flirting his ass off. That boy moved faster than a cheetah.

“Charley!”

Strong arms wrapped around me and my feet left the ground as Matt gave me a bear hug. When he settled me back on the ground, I found myself standing beside Jake and Melissa.

Great.

And Jake wouldn’t look at me.

Double great.

“Having fun, Supergirl?” Matt winked, raking his eyes over me again.

“I will be once you get me a beer.”

Finally, Jake honored me with his attention. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

What is your problem? I’m not your girlfriend! Your girlfriend is standing right next to you. I’m the girl you dumped, remember?

“No, Dad, I don’t,” I answered, my drunken, loose lips about to get insulting when arms came around my waist and pulled me back into a strong chest. Aaron.

“I need to steal Supergirl away for a bit,” he told the group, laughter in his voice. “She needs to rescue me from a dire, dire situation …”

I laughed and let him drag me away, hoping it annoyed the f**k out of Jake. Uneasiness settled over me almost immediately, though, when Aaron led me down the hall to bedroom number one.

I tugged on his hand and he looked over his shoulder. “What?”

“I’m not going in there with you.” I shook my head and tried to pull my hand out of his, but Aaron held tight.

“Come on, Charley. Loosen up a little with me.”

Annoyed at his persistence and annoyed at myself for giving him the wrong impression, I yanked my hand back. “I’m not sleeping with you.”

Aaron’s handsome face darkened. “Are you kidding me? I’ve wasted all night on you. I thought it was clear that this was just going to be a fuck.”

My ears were ringing with his brutal honesty, so I didn’t reply.

He sighed heavily and brushed past me, leaving me standing there feeling stupid and worthless. In the morning I’d be pissed that I let him make me feel that way, but right then, I was too drunk to push my gloomy feelings away.

Back in the main room Beck was making out with some random girl and Denver, Rowena, Jake, and Melissa weren’t anywhere to be seen.

Lowe and Matt were chatting and drinking at the kitchen island.

Lowe gave me his sexy, flirty grin as I approached. “Babe, you’re killing me in that outfit. You should wear skirts more often. You’ve got great legs.”

I drunkenly cuddled into his side, leaning my head on his shoulder. “Thanks,” I murmured.

His arm came around me, hugging me. “You okay?”

Hearing the concern in his voice, I pressed even tighter against him, trying to bury myself into the comfort he was giving me by just being him. “Fine. Where did everyone go?”

It was Matt who answered, appearing a little awkward. “After you left with that a-hole English guy, Jake got a little moody. Mel noticed. They got into an argument and left. Den and Row got bored, so they left too.”

I was put more than a little off-balance by Matt’s not-so-subtle insinuation that I’d caused some kind of rift between Melissa and Jake. However, it wasn’t just the insinuation. It was the thought that Jake was pissed at me for being with another guy. What the hell did that mean? What was he trying to do to me?

Lowe’s arm tightened around me. “Don’t worry about it, babe.” He sighed. “This party is terrible and I’m exhausted. You want us to walk you home?”

I nodded. Yes. I wanted out of there so I could pass out on my bed and forget everything about tonight. “Let me get Claud first.”

Finding my friend on the balcony with Zach and a couple of his friends, I pulled Claudia aside and told her that I wanted to leave.

“Okay, we’ll go,” she assured me.

I glowered at her. “Don’t think we won’t be talking about what happened with you.”

“Not now.” She brushed me off and called a goodnight to Zach.

Seeing us preparing to leave with Lowe and Matt, Beck abandoned the girl he was with and followed us out of the apartment. Hitting the street, I was glad I had alcohol in my blood to keep me warm in the freezing cold.

“You might not feel cold, but you are,” Lowe said, pulling me into his side. He was only wearing a thin shirt. “So am I,” he grumbled and rubbed a hand over my arm.

Ahead of us Claudia walked between Beck and Matt, Matt chatting away, oblivious to the obvious tension between his companions.

“What happened with the guy?” Lowe suddenly asked.

I curled my lip at the thought of Aaron. “As soon as I made it clear he wasn’t getting any, he dropped me like a bad habit.”

“What a charmer.”

“Mmm.”

He squeezed my waist. “Will you sleep with me?”

I smiled at his teasing question. “Not tonight.”

His laughter rocked against my side. “That wasn’t a no.”

“I’m leaving my options open.”

Lowe chuckled. “A guy wants a girl, he has to hope to God she wants him back. A girl wants a guy, all she’s got to do is say the word and bam! He’s na**d. You got all the power.”

“I am Supergirl.”

He laughed again and kissed my hair. “That you are.”

“And you know … I think it’s more to do with the fact that girls need to be attracted to more than just a penis to want sex. I get the impression straight men are just attracted to the vagina.”

This only made Lowe laugh harder. “You’d be surprised.” He sighed and after a minute quietly muttered, “Jake’s a f**king moron.”

I decided it was best I didn’t ask him to confirm what he meant by that.

Chapter Ten

There was so much food inside my stomach, I was impressed I’d managed to fold myself into my mom’s car and drive myself to Jake’s. I’d just spent Thanksgiving dinner with my parents, and my mom had gone overboard, illogically compensating for the fact that my sister wasn’t with us. Well, she was kind of with us. We’d sat my laptop at the end of the table and Andie had Skyped with us from Dublin while we ate. I’d have felt sorry for her watching us scarf down Mom’s delicious turkey dinner and incredible pumpkin pie, but Andie had made her own little Thanksgiving dinner for her and a couple of her fellow Americans. Since she’d inherited Mom’s cooking gene, I could imagine it had been pretty good.

When I told my parents I was going over to see Jake, my mom was the one who protested. “Isn’t it enough that one of my daughters isn’t here for Thanksgiving?” she bemoaned. Surprisingly, it was Dad who came to my rescue.

“Let her go. They haven’t seen each other in twenty-four hours. It must be killing them,” he said, flashing me a teasing smile before returning his eyes to the game. The Eagles were playing the Cardinals, neither of which were my dad’s team, yet still he watched.

Somehow in the last few weeks, Jake had weaseled his way into my dad’s good graces. Whether it was because I was happy or because Jake could charm the pants off anyone, I don’t know. All I did know was that last Sunday, I’d gone into the kitchen to get Jake a soda and when I returned, he and Dad were watching the game and I might as well have been invisible. They made disparaging comments about the Rams and reassured each other that their team (the Chicago Bears) would pull it together. In the end, the Bears whipped the Rams 27-3 and that victory seemed to cement some kind of bond between Dad and Jake. I didn’t care that it took football to do it. I was just glad it was done.