Until Jax (Until Him 1)

He had a harem of women, all of them he had either kidnapped or bought, and they were all virgins, who he then had children with. I was stunned when Jax’s uncle told us he had over two hundred followers who all believed him. But knowing the world we live in, and how badly some people want to believe in something, anything, I know it’s possible.

“You were almost taken from our home. I could have lost you and Hope, and I would’ve had no way to find you,” he says, getting down on his knees in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head in my lap.

“You would have found us.” I whisper, forcing his eyes to meet mine then holding his face in my hands. “You wouldn’t have stopped until you did,” I say then drop my forehead to his. “I don’t want to play what if, not when we’re here together, not after what happened,” I whisper, closing my eyes, feeling his arms wrap around me.

“You’re right,” he says quietly, pressing his mouth to mine briefly.

Opening my eyes to meet his, I see pain and regret in his gaze that makes it almost hard to breathe. I hate that he feels so at fault for something completely out of his control.

“I love you,” I whisper as he helps me get into bed and adjust Hope between us.

“I love you too, both of you,” he says, turning off the light, casting the room in darkness. Lying there, I listen to him and Hope breathe, trying to sleep, but my brain refuses to shut off, and I can tell he’s having the same problem, because his fingers on my waist move continuously. Finally, light finds its way into the dark, and I’m able to fall asleep.

Waking up, I look across the expanse of the bed and panic when I see Jax and Hope are both gone. Sitting up, I put my feet to the floor then sag in relief when I see Hope is in the room across the hall from me, sitting on the floor, playing with both puppies and her doll. Grabbing my sweats, I put them on and walk across the hall, taking a seat next to her on the floor.

“Hey, Angel Baby,” I greet her quietly, seeing she’s not her normal happy, hyper self and that she hasn’t really acknowledged me.

“Are the bad men gone, Mama?” she asks, and my heart breaks as I pull her into my arms, settling her on my lap.

“Yes,” I whisper into her hair, breathing in her scent.

“They hurt Chocolate Chip,” she tells me, and I press my lips together to keep from crying.

“I know, Angel, but remember Aunt July said he would be okay,” I assure her. Chocolate chip had one of his legs broken and was now sporting a cast, but July said he would be fine; it would just take a few weeks for him to heal.

“Can we go home?” she asks, tilting her head back to look at me.

“In a few days.” I nod, running my fingers through her hair as she lays her head against my chest until she eventually gets up and begins playing with the puppies. Watching her for a long time, I don’t get up and leave until I hear her laugh. That sound lets me know she will be okay.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were going to talk to Jules?” I hear Cash ask as I walk around the corner into the kitchen, seeing Jax and his parents, along with Ashlyn, sitting at the table and drinking coffee.

“I didn’t want to bring up old shit for you guys. Really, I don’t know what I wanted from her,” Jax replies, rubbing his hands over his face. “When I saw her, she didn’t talk to me. I don’t even know why she was at my house yesterday,” he says in a voice full of pain as his eyes come to me and he holds out a hand in my direction. I take it, and he pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me, placing a kiss on the side of my neck.

“I’m glad she was there,” Lilly says softly, and I nod in agreement, turning in his lap and running my fingers over his jaw. If she weren’t there, things would be completely different right now. I don’t even want to imagine how terrible things could have turned out.

*

“I got it,” Jax yells from downstairs when the doorbell goes off.

“Okay,” I yell back, smiling at Hope when she laughs. It’s been three weeks since everything went down, and last night was the first time we’ve stayed in the house since then. It was terrifying walking through the front door, but Jax, along with his cousins and uncles, had painted and made some changes while we stayed with his parents, and also had the alarm system repaired and updated. Making it easier to deal with coming home.

“Are you ready to go hunt for Easter eggs, Angel?” I ask Hope, who has been sitting on the vanity in the bathroom, watching me put on makeup.

“Yep.” She grins, fluffing out her poufy eggshell-blue dress around her then kicking up her feet, clicking together her plastic, glittery dress-up shoes, which she won’t be wearing when we leave the house. “Can I have makeup?”

“A little.” I smile, dabbing her cheeks then eyes with a brush then let I her use my lip-gloss after I do.

“You look pretty, Mama.”

“So do you.” I smile at her, lifting her off the counter and setting her on her feet. “Go make sure the puppies are okay and change your shoes so we can leave.”

“But I want to wear my princess shoes.” She frowns.

“If you want to get lots of eggs, you have to be able to run fast, so you need your other shoes.”

“Okay,” she grumbles, leaving the bathroom with me shaking my head.

Going to the closet, I slip on my heels then look at myself in the mirror once more before going downstairs, where I find Jax sitting in the living room with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.