The Devil's Plaything

Am I as fucking weak as the men I’ve killed?

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she tells me. “I mean, you have a darkness inside you, Victor. It shines at times and it scares me.”

“Then why are you here, in my arms?” I challenge. I know what I want her to say, but I fear it too. If she utters those words, the three words that I am slowly trying to admit to myself, I’m not sure I can ever walk away from her. That was my plan: to leave her, to allow her to live her life. To be a normal girl, to fall in love and find happiness with a man who isn’t me.

“If you asked me that two weeks ago, I would’ve told you because you’re keeping me captive,” she replies confidently. Sofía tips her chin back, looking up at me as we stand in the dimly lit area of the private beach. I could take her right now, nobody would know. I could run away with her and never return, leaving everything that’s been left to me to lie in ruins. And I find myself not caring at all.

I know Javier would be there. He’d care for the legacy my father left behind. He would make sure that the men worked, and my home was seen to, but it’s not who I am. I don’t run away into the sunset for love, and I certainly don’t promise a forever.

“I’m asking you now,” I tell her. “Why are you here, in my arms?”

She stares at me, her eyes locking on mine, boring into the depths of my darkened soul. She sees my heart. I’ve locked it away for so long, I didn’t know it still existed, but it does, and I know that Sofía is the only one who will be able to keep it safe.

“Because I’ve fallen in love with you.” And there it is, the truth: brutal, blatant, and dangerous; yet, it warms every part of me. It holds me in its promise, and I don’t know what to do with it.

“I’m not a man you can love.”

“You may believe that, but it’s all a lie you’ve conditioned yourself to repeat time and again. If you say it enough, you’ll begin to believe it’s true.”

“I’m dangerous.”

“You’re affectionate.”

“I’m violent.”

“You’re passionate.”

We throw these affirmations back and forth, but I see her resolve shining in her gaze. She’s not giving up. I thought she would run. I didn’t think she’d stand here, looking into my eyes, and tell me those words.

“What am I to do with you?”

A smile turns her lips upward at the corners, making her smile light up her face. Even in the darkness, she is a light that shows me the way. Javier was right, he knew it before I did. I never wanted to tell her that I felt something for her. I fought it. All this time, I hated myself for craving her as much as I do.

But I can no longer hide it.

“You can tell me the truth. I want to hear it from your lips to my ears. Nobody else is around, none of your men will hear it. Only me.” Her plea is clear. She needs this as much as I do. I can’t believe I’m laying claim to her because once I utter these words, I’ll have to give her a ring. She will be the queen who sits by my side.

I have a choice to make. Do I send her away? Or do I admit my emotions?

“I’m in love with you, too, juguete,” I tell her.

“Victor,” Javi calls to me, breaking the spell, and I step back from Sofía. Her lips are still parted, the soft breaths from her mouth tempt me to move closer, but I need to talk to Javier.

“Don’t move.” She nods at my command, and I turn to my best friend. “What’s wrong?”

“Rodrigo is in town.” The name sends ice through my veins. He’s going to be a dead man soon, and it will be by my hand.

“Set up a meeting,” I tell him. “Plan’s changed.”

“What?” His brows shoot up, he glances over my shoulder, taking in the beautiful woman who loves me even at my worst. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I affirm, “She’s mine, Javi. You were right, I should’ve listened to you when you said it weeks ago.” His eyes betray him; he’s shocked at my change of heart. “Are you going to fight me on this? Because if you are, I’d rather know now.” He knows if he does, he’ll not walk out of this alive. The only time a man leaves my employ is when he’s six feet under, and it doesn’t matter if he’s my best friend or not. That’s the way of life for us. He understands it. We’ve learned from a young age that we cannot allow anyone to walk away unscathed. The vow we take is for life.