The Boy Next Door

Suddenly, though, I was hit by a bout of nausea. I swallowed hard, waiting for it to pass, closing my eyes to ward it off. Instead, the feeling intensified.

I rushed to the bathroom door, hesitating only a moment before bursting in so that I could throw up in the toilet. I hung there for a moment, feeling embarrassed. Here I was, trying to make a good impression on everyone, and yet I’d had to interrupt Piper’s shower so that I could puke. Yuck.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“Are you okay?” Piper asked, poking her head out from around the shower curtain. “Had a little too much to drink last night?”

I shook my head. “No I barely drank at all last night. It must be some weird stomach bug,” I told her. “I’ve been having it on and off all week.”

Piper blinked at me, her mouth forming a little o. She shut off the water and reached for her towel, pulling it around herself before pushing the shower curtain open. I averted my gaze even though she was fully covered. “Don’t you think that sounds like maybe…” She trailed off for a moment, then tried again. “When was the last time you had your period?”

I stared at her blankly, then started mentally doing the calculation. It was more difficult than it should have been for me to remember. Had I had one in the last month? I honestly didn’t know.

“I don’t know, things have been stressful since moving here,” I said. “I don’t remember if I’ve had one or not.”

Piper gave me a skeptical look. “When you were with Jayson, did you use protection?” she asked gently.

“I mean, I’m on the pill,” I told her.

She nodded slowly. “Well that’s good, but it’s not 100% effective. Did he use a condom?”

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. The times that we had been together had been explosive and unexpected, so there had been no time for him to put on a condom. How could I have been so stupid?

I shook my head. “I’m sure it’s just the stress and everything of the move and a new job. I’m sure that’s all it is.”

Piper looked skeptical but nodded her head. “Okay, maybe that’s it. But when we get home, you should get checked out just in case. “Yeah,” I said faintly. Get checked out. I hated to say it, but the idea of seeing a doctor, confirming whether or not I was pregnant, was terrifying. I was supposed to be focusing on my career. I could only imagine how much an unexpected pregnancy would derail things.

And what about Jayson? He wouldn’t want anything to do with me if he found out that I was pregnant. He was in a band, one that was just about to take off. They were in the studio even now, working on an album. He wouldn’t want to be tied down by a girl, and he definitely wouldn’t want to be tied down by a baby. He wasn’t in the “family” portion of his life. He might never be.

Could I handle having a baby all on my own so far away from my family? I didn’t know if I could. I had only been in LA a couple of months. I still barely knew anyone there. There would be no one to help me out. All the friends I had started to make, I was sure to lose. Piper and the rest of them were at different places in their lives. They didn’t have kids; they weren’t even thinking about kids yet, not in the near future anyway.

I tried not to panic. The last thing I wanted was to spend the rest of the retreat panicking in the bathroom. I didn’t want Piper to feel like she had to take care of me. Hell, I didn’t want her to know that anything was wrong in the first place. I wasn’t pregnant. I wasn’t.

I forced a smile on my face and flushed the toilet. “Why don’t I get out of here so you can finish?” I suggested. “Then we’ll head over to breakfast and get on with our meetings. I need you to help me figure out who’s who again before I talk to them all one-on-one later.”

“Sure thing,” Piper said. I could see the open concern still on her face, and I didn’t want to admit how that rattled me.

Nor did I want to admit how badly I bombed my one-on-one with the bosses a little while later. I was flustered, and I was having a hard time focusing. I felt too warm and cold in waves, and even though I didn’t feel nauseous anymore, I didn’t feel right, either. I was still tired, even though I had gone to bed early the night before.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility that I was pregnant. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to devote my full attention to anything else until I knew the truth.