Saving Lawson (Loving Lawson 2)

“Fuck you,” I spat out. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

He didn’t relent. Instead, there was mischief in his eyes as he curiously asked, “How does it feel to know she was with me first? I was her first kiss. Her first fuck. She’d kept her virginity close to her, Heath, and she gave it to me. Did you know that? Did you know she held onto it and waited for the perfect guy? That’s what she called me, Heath: the ‘perfect guy’. I was there for her when her father died. She cried on my shoulder. She listened to me soothe her. She told me things she’ll probably never open up to you. We have a history you’ll never touch. Memories you’ll never have.”

I was trembling. It was painful hearing it because a lot of it was true. He was her first everything, and I felt like the rebound sometimes. But then I reflected on the way she looked at me. With warmth and love. No, she loved me. She was with me because I was the right guy for her.

“If you were so spectacular,” I said on a sneer, “then why didn’t she wait for you?”

The protruding vein at the base of his throat twitched. His eyes hardened and just as much as I was hurting at hearing what he was saying, I realized he was hurting worse. Fuck, I hadn’t come here for this.

“Ryker –”

“Fuck off and don’t come back again.” He stood up and made to leave.

“Ryker, I’m sorry,” I quickly apologized. “Look, man, I’m not here to fight. I just want to talk. Please, just talk. Tell me everything. We can work this out! Remove her from the picture for two minutes and just talk to me, man. You’re my brother.”

“We’re not brothers,” he snapped back as he took a step away from me. “And there’s nothing more to say.”

I snapped out of that memory, shuddering at the guilt that swamped me every time I remembered his pain. It was dangerous thinking back on it. It made me wonder too much about his relationship with Allie and if they really did have something better between them. I wanted to be her best memories. I needed to believe I was.

As soon as Kayden fell back asleep, I set up the bassinet in the bedroom next to our bed. Then I moved Kayden to it, making sure his pacifier was in his mouth and he was dry and changed. He was a smelly little man, farted up a storm after every feed. He’d eaten a lot just now and nine times out of ten he slept through until five in the morning. Hopefully he wouldn’t fuss and wake Allie up while I was away. She didn’t need to know I was gone.

I slipped on my black hoodie and changed into dark jeans. I grabbed my keys and a pocket knife from inside my work bag and stuffed them in my pocket. Before leaving, I crawled into bed and held Allie for a couple minutes. Her days were long and hard. She was so exhausted she didn’t even stir. My chest felt heavy with my love for her, and for a moment I considered getting the job done tomorrow.

But I couldn’t. It wasn’t practical. It wasn’t the plan. I needed to do this now even if it meant I’d be gone for three hours and probably be a walking zombie by the morning. Besides, tomorrow was a Friday, and the night wouldn’t be as desolate as today.

“Fuckin’ adore you, baby,” I whispered in her ear. I kissed her shoulder and pulled the covers over her. Just as I moved off the bed, I heard a series of knocks from the front door.

Frowning, I hurried out of the room, shutting the door behind me to keep Allie from waking up. On my way, I stopped by the knife block on the kitchen counter and grabbed a blade. You just never know, right?

Settling against the front door and hearing another eager series of knocks, I looked into the peephole. Instantly, the tension eased away. I dropped the knife to my side and unlocked the door. Swinging it open, I growled out, “The fuck you doin’ at my door, man?”

Marko rolled his eyes and shoved past me. “Been waiting for you out front for a while now. Fuck, am I the only punctual one left in this piece of shit town?”

“I got a phone, you know. That’s what normal people use when they want to talk to people late at night. They fucking call them up. You can thank Alexander Graham Bell for that.”

Marko shrugged his massive shoulders. “I don’t have time to talk on a phone that locks you to a stupid plan you can’t get out of unless you pay an exorbitant amount of money.”

“Exorbitant amount of money? Point of that is to find a plan you can afford and not have to get out of it.”

“Same shit.”

“Well, you can’t keep doing this shit. I’ve got a kid and a woman sleeping feet away from us.”

“Yeah, but I can smell the sex all over you, so I’m sure you’re in a better mood than you were earlier today. Fuckin’ cunt attitude, man. Boys didn’t deserve that.”

I glowered at him and stared in the direction of the bedroom. I didn’t want Allie waking up to Marko in our apartment. She didn’t like him. Never did since she saw him slay me at the fight all those months ago. To be fair, he was an incredibly skilled fighter. Now our matches were unpredictable, and we were even in wins and losses. This made our fights the most talked about. People loved watching a blood fest you couldn’t predict until the end. It made the betting process interesting and risky.

Fighting aside, Marko was my best buddy. He showed up at the shop weeks after he’d slayed me seeking a mechanic’s job. We’d only just opened a position and dozens of resumes had streamed in. But the second our boss set eyes on Marko stepping foot into the office with his shoulders practically wide as the doorframe, he gave him the job on the spot. I wasn’t sure if he was just intimidated by Marko. I wouldn’t blame him. He’d had a hard look about him – he still did – but that day his demeanour had said, “You don’t give me this fucking job, I’ll come back and burn your precious shop to the ground… with you in it.”

So he got the job. I didn’t want to like the guy. In fact, I loathed him for a while. But on a certain level, we were the exact same people, and we ended up bonding without even realizing it. We were working a job we hated, fought on the side to make ends meet, and had fallen head over heels in love with women we weren’t supposed to love. The only difference?

I landed the girl.

He didn’t.

But his story was far more fucked up than mine. The kind of fucked up that made my spine tingle and my head shake by how messed up it was. For him, there would be no happily ever after. Not now. Not ever.