Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

“Sure thing,” he answered, following me around to the passenger side and opening the door for me before going back to get in his side. After a few minutes of driving in silence, he looked over at me. “You okay?”

“Yep,” I lied, trying to pretend that my heart wasn’t breaking all over again the same as it did every time I left Jack’s grave.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more privacy.”

I nodded, not wanting to talk about it. “It’s fine,” I mumbled, looking out of my window, swallowing the sobs that were fighting to break free.

His hand closed over mine in silent support. It was a small gesture and one that normally would have had me freaking out and my body in a nervous state, but actually it felt nice, comforting, reassuring, and it made me feel safe. I squeezed his hand a little as a ‘thank you’ and carried on staring out of my window at the fields and trees that whizzed past.

As soon as we pulled into the drive, I saw Dean leaning up against the porch, his arms folded over his chest and a scowl on his face. Ashton groaned. “That’s just perfect! Well, it was nice working with you, Anna,” he mumbled, shaking his head.

I scoffed. “Yeah right, you think you’ll get in trouble? Dean won’t say anything, you don’t need to worry,” I assured him, climbing out of the car.

I forced a polite smile as Dean pushed himself away from the wall, glaring at me. “Where the f**k have you been, Annabelle?” he spat.

I raised one eyebrow. “Wow, language, Agent Michaels, there are ladies present,” I joked, nodding in Ashton’s direction.

My far guard didn’t laugh. “Annabelle, how many times do I have to tell you? You can’t just leave without me. Where the hell have you been anyway?” His eyes darted around the long driveway, probably checking to see if anyone saw us.

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, just chill! I came back, didn’t I? You’re just pissed because you had to cover for me again.”

His murderous glare turned in Ashton’s direction. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going? Shit, Taylor, I know you’re new to all this but I’ll give you a clue, you’re near guard, I’m far guard, we both need to guard!”

I laughed at his annoyance. Technically he should have been used to this happening by now; I snuck out at least twice a week when I was here at the lake house. “Aww, Dean, are you jealous I took him with me and not you? Are you feeling a little left out?” I teased in a singsong voice.

Ashton didn’t look amused; his eyes narrowed in a clear ‘shut the hell up’ warning. “Dean, I didn’t know we were going, I barely got in the car before she drove off,” he interjected innocently.

My far guard turned back to me. “Where did you go?”

“That’s none of your f**king business, Agent,” I retorted, now just as annoyed as he was.

“Taylor?” he prompted, looking back Ashton. I looked at my new guard pleadingly, silently begging him not to say anything. Once the guards knew I went there when I snuck out, I’d never get peace there again.

Ashton sighed. “Look, Anna would rather I not say,” he answered, sidestepping Dean and wrapping his hand around my upper arm. “We’re back now. I apologise, she apologises, let’s leave it at that. It won’t happen again,” he said sternly, giving me a gentle push in the direction of the house.

As soon as we were inside the house, I pulled my arm out of his grasp. “I didn’t apologise,” I stated sarcastically.

He laughed and nodded. “I noticed,” he replied, smiling. “So, considering as I just took one for you and kept your secret, how about you show me this lake?”

I rolled my eyes. “You haven’t seen the lake yet?” He shook his head in response. “Come with me.” I turned and stalked towards my bedroom, listening to him trudge along behind me. When I got to my room I gestured towards my window and the beautiful view of the lake that I had. “There it is, Pretty Boy.”

He laughed and rolled his eyes. “Right, well thanks, but I was thinking we could get a boat or something, maybe go for a swim? We need to get to know each other ready for next week. I know nothing about you other than what I’ve read in your file.”

My heart sank. A file? I have a file? “What kind of file?” I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

His face fell, and he shifted on his feet uncomfortably. “Er, well, you have a file that gave me all the information I need for my job. You know, like your schools, your routine. A brief overview of your character. It had some stuff about Jackson.”

I stiffened. “Jack. He liked Jack, not Jackson. He hated being called Jackson.” I frowned down at my feet.

“Right, okay. There wasn’t really that much in there about you and what you like and don’t like. If I’m gonna pretend to be your boyfriend, I figure I should at least know some stuff about you.” He bent his head, trying to catch my eye.

I gulped. He hadn’t said anything about Carter, did he know about Carter? “Did it say anything about Carter in my file?” I asked, my voice breaking when I said his name. Bile rose in my throat. I hated to talk about him, my therapist made me talk about him which wasn’t good for my whole staying emotionless plan.

He nodded. “Yeah it did,” was all he said.

The frustrated anger came out of nowhere. “Right, of course it did. I should have known, I forgot that I’m not entitled to privacy anymore,” I snapped. A tear fell down my cheek, so I swiped it away angrily. I hated the fact that everyone knew; it was no one else’s business.