Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

I sighed, defeated. “Well, where the hell did it come from then?”

Before I knew what happened, my feet were knocked out from under me as he pulled me into his arms. I squealed and threw my arms around his neck as he carried me bridal style over to the bed, sitting on the edge and settling me in his lap.

“People make stuff up in the papers everyday. It’s probably our age; pregnancy is a reason some people get married young. They’re just clutching at straws. That photo probably just added fuel to the fire. If I’d been rubbing cream on your back or shoulders then they might not have even printed it. Trust me, you are just perfect, I promise,” he vowed, kissing my nose.

I sighed and tightened my arms around his neck breathing him in. “This will all die down, won’t it? All of this attention.”

He rubbed my back gently, soothing me. “I’m sure it will after a few weeks,” he replied, his voice soft and tender. I pressed myself closer to him and tried desperately to ignore the way my body was reacting to the contact with him. “You tired?” he asked, as I failed in stifling a large yawn. I nodded and glanced over to the clock, noting it was almost midnight. “Let’s go to bed then,” he suggested, helping me off his lap. “I’ll be right back.” He headed out of the room to check the doors, the same as he did every night. I grabbed a pair of pyjamas and headed to the bathroom to change and wash my face.

Once I’d changed, I stopped short with my hand on the door handle. Ashton was probably waiting in bed for me. Tonight was going to be hard because we had to get back some semblance of normal. But, however hard it would be, it needed to be done. I needed to at least try and limit the damage he would do to my heart when he left.

After taking a couple of deep breaths, I tugged the door open and forced a smile. I was right. He was sitting up in the bed, his chest bare. Oh God, please let him be wearing shorts or I’m done for!

He watched me as I walked over to the bed. “Hey,” he smiled.

“Hey,” I replied as I climbed in next to him. When he didn’t make any moves to come to me, I scooted closer to him. His arm immediately lifted and pushed under my neck, hugging me to him tightly. I sighed contentedly as I snuggled against him, loving how our bodies fitted together as if they were designed that way. Ashton kissed the top of my head softly, sending a wave of desire through me that made my whole body ache. Over the last two weeks, we had barely made it a few hours without making love; the physical contact was going to be a hard habit to break. I bit my lip and closed my eyes tightly, praying for sleep to take me quickly because the desire for him was almost too much to bear.

Within a week of being home, the attention surrounding us started to die down. The press had finally realised that we weren’t married or expecting a baby, so they started to lose interest a little. Well, only a little, because we were still plastered all over the papers and magazines. The girlie magazines in particular liked to feature Ashton, he’d clearly woven his spell over them too because he’d actually been voted torso of the week in one magazine. He actually seemed pretty proud of himself when he saw that.

School was awkward again for a couple of days, but even people there were getting used to who we were again.

Today though, we had something different to worry about, other than just what magazines we would be featured in. Today was the day that Ashton was going with his friends to use his driving day experience. That was if I could calm him down from his latest panic attack about leaving me in someone else’s care.

“You sure you can’t come with me?” he asked, shooting me the begging eyes that usually made me melt inside.

I forced a smile. We’d been going over and over this all week long and he still didn’t like the idea of it. “I don’t want to go. Besides, you’ll have a better time without me being there. You’ll be able to relax with your friends and not have to work all the time. I’ve got Cohen here now, and Dean’s moving into the other bedroom,” I assured him.

He groaned and set his head on my shoulder. “I hate this,” he mumbled.

I giggled at his overprotectiveness. “Look, just chill out. Nothing’s gonna happen. You go have fun with your friends and enjoy your Christmas present, okay? If you need to, then you can call me,” I suggested, wrapping my arm around his shoulder and stroking the back of his hair.

He looked up and his pained eyes met mine. “But what about the lawyer guy? You sure you can’t reschedule him coming over so I could be here for that?”

I sighed. The prosecution lawyer for Carter’s case had called and was in town this weekend. He wanted to talk to me and go over a few things in case I was actually called up to give evidence at Carter’s retrial. This was the only weekend that he had free to see me before then, and Ashton knew that too.

“I told you, this is the only time he has before the trial. I can’t reschedule.” I frowned, actually wanting to give in and just go with Ashton or let him stay here with me like he was trying so hard to convince me on. I didn’t want to see the lawyer guy again on my own. A deep frown lined Ashton’s forehead and I reached out, smoothing it away with my thumb. “Careful, wrinkles,” I joked. “Just go, I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll call me and let me know what he says?”

I nodded in agreement. “Promise.”

His heavy sigh blew across my cheek. I could see his internal struggle brewing in his eyes. “Be safe this weekend. If you go anywhere, then stay with Dean. No doing anything stupid like going off without a guard, okay?”