Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

“I’m okay,” I lied, willing my shaking voice not to betray me.

He backed away slowly; taking my hand and guiding me back over to the bed. As I sat down, I spotted his T-shirt in a pile on the floor, so I stooped to pick it up and pull it down over my head.

“Sir, are you still there?” Ashton asked, fiddling with the phone.

“I’m here,” my father confirmed, his voice choked and strained.

I sniffed and wiped my face, forcing myself to be strong as I looked down at the phone, wanting answers. “So, what was in these letters? Does he know where I am?” I asked.

My father cleared his throat. “He knows what school you’re at. For the last couple of months, the letters have been sent to the college,” he said, sounding almost apologetic. “I’m sending four more guards over to your location, just to be on the safe side. They should be arriving within the hour. Agent Taylor, do you think you could organise them when they get there? Whatever you feel’s best, I’ve already instructed them to that effect.”

“Yes, sir, of course,” Ashton confirmed in his business tone. He was already planning, I could tell by the look on his face.

“Okay, well if I hear anything else, I’ll call straight away. If you need anything, call me anytime and Maddy will put you straight through,” my dad stated.

“Yes, sir,” Ashton replied.

“Annabelle, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but honestly we thought that this was in your best interests,” my dad said, sounding like he was asking for my approval.

In all honesty, it probably was the best thing at the start; I wouldn’t have coped very well with that at all. But since Ashton, I could have been told. Maybe it would have helped me understand why he was always so strict and professional when we went out.

“Now isn’t the time to start arguing over something that’s done. I understand why you didn’t tell me,” I admitted. “I’ll speak to you later, Dad,” I mumbled, not wanting to speak anymore.

“Bye, Annabelle, Agent Taylor,” he replied as he cut off the phone. I glanced over to the love of my life. He was worried sick, his beautiful face was pale and showed the picture of concern.

His arms encircled me, crushing me against him. When he moved towards me, the weight of his body meant I had nowhere to go but backwards onto the bed. His body covered mine, pressing me down into the mattress. “You don’t need to worry, Baby Girl, I promise. I would die before I let him touch you again,” he growled fiercely.

My heart stopped at his words. I could see the truth in his eyes. He wouldn’t let Carter take me; he would fight for me to the death. And with that knowledge, my heart broke all over again. I knew what was coming. In my mind’s eye I could already see it, Carter turning up, Ashton and him locked in some kind of death battle, Ashton being hurt or killed. Me, alone again, watching another person that I loved being ripped away from me.

I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t allow him to be hurt. This time I had some control, this time I could prevent it, this time the boy I loved would live. I would never allow Carter to hurt Ashton, ever.

Forcing a fake smile, I tried desperately to think of a plan, an escape, something that would ensure that this time it all ended differently. Scenarios flicked through my head, us leaving, going into hiding, changing our names. But each one boiled down to the same thing – Carter would find us, and he would kill him in the slowest way possible. No, there was only one way I could ensure his safety.

“I’m going to go and have a shower before the new guards all come. I guess you need to go and talk to Dean and Peter and tell them what’s happened,” I muttered, trying not to let out the waves of emotion that were crashing over me show in my face or in my voice.

He sighed and dipped his head, capturing my lips in a kiss that was so sweet that it shattered my heart. I kissed him back, savouring every last second of it, knowing that it would be the last kiss I would ever have. I memorised the soft feel of his lips, the taste of his tongue, the smell of him, how the heat spread through my body making my heart throb. I memorised every single thing about it while my heart broke silently.

He pulled away and stroked my face softly. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, watching my face. I nodded, working hard to keep my face natural. I must have done a pretty decent job because he kissed me on the lips again quickly then pushed up off me and left the bedroom, looking like it almost pained him to walk away from me.

I sat up and put my head in my hands, thinking it through again. Was there any other option? Was there anything else I could do to protect him? Carter knew where we were. He wanted me back, and if he had seen any of the magazines or papers then he would already see all of the stuff about Ashton… and he would be murderously angry. The dream I had about Ashton’s broken face and body flashed into my mind, and I whimpered. My eyes fluttered closed, holding on to the memory of that dream. I took a deep breath; I needed to draw on my inner strength now. It didn’t matter how much it hurt me, I needed him safe. There was only one way to keep him safe, and that was to get him as far away from me as possible.

I couldn’t live in a world where Ashton didn’t exist. It hurt so much when Jack died, I couldn’t go through all of that again. If anything happened to Ashton, my whole world would collapse. I had to keep him safe, even if the pain would be excruciating, I wouldn’t allow Carter to hurt Ashton.

I swallowed my sob and picked up my cell phone before walking to the bathroom on wobbly legs. I scrolled through my contacts, finding the one I wanted as I closed the door behind me tightly and leant against it. Maddy answered immediately. “President Spencer’s Office,” she said politely.