Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

The click of her keyboard told me she was checking his schedule. “He has a couple of minutes before his next meeting, I’ll buzz you through.”

“Agent Taylor, you wanted to speak to me?” President Spencer asked politely when he came on the line a moment later.

“Yes, sir. Thank you for taking my call, I’m sure you’re busy,” I frowned up at the ceiling. I hadn’t spoken to him since the day I was reassigned, and I was surprised by how much resentment I felt towards him because he’d sent me away from her.

“That’s okay, son. What can I do for you?”

I ran my hand through my hair. “Well, I have a birthday gift for Anna, and I wondered if I would be able to send it over to you. I guessed that she’s going to be spending her school break there with you.” My frown turned into a scowl.

“Yes, she is. Of course you can send it here, Agent Taylor. I’ll make sure she gets it,” he replied kindly.

Now for the hard bit, that I wasn’t sure how to word. “Thank you, sir. One more thing. I just wanted to check that Anna won’t be left alone for her birthday. I’m worried that she’ll…” I stumbled over my words and took a deep breath. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that the day is going to be hard for her. She promised me she won’t do that again this year, but I’m still worried,” I admitted. I hadn’t been able to get the thought of her killing herself from my head. She’d promised me she wouldn’t, but did that still count, considering I wasn’t there anymore?

He sighed. “I’m worried too. We’re taking every precaution, and I have given her guards strict orders not to let her out of their sight for a moment. Annabelle’s stronger now, I don’t think she’ll try that again,” he answered, sounding like he was trying to convince himself at the same time as me.

I nodded. “Yes, sir. Thank you,” I mumbled gratefully. His reassurances did help a little; I trusted that he would do everything in his power to keep her safe. “Can I ask how Anna is? I’ve tried calling her, but she won’t even speak to me.”

He sighed deeply. “She’s been here for three days now already, and she seems to be coping alright. She’s a little quiet, but she always is around us,” he answered. There was a moment of awkward silence where he seemed to be choosing his words. “Look, I know you’re concerned about her and I appreciate that, but if she doesn’t want to speak to you, then maybe you should just stop trying to contact her,” he suggested.

I gritted my teeth. He was right; everyone had said the same thing – that I should forget her and move on because she wasn’t going to change her mind. But I just couldn’t. It wasn’t possible for me to move on while there was still that small element of hope in my mind. When she’d told me she didn’t love me, I didn’t believe her. Deep down, I knew she had feelings for me, deep rooted feelings that she was obviously terrified of and needed space and time to work out. This Carter stuff just made her panic and the first defence mechanism for her was to revert back to what she knew – the cold, hard Anna. At least, that’s what I told myself. In reality, there was just no getting over this girl, so hope was all I had.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called you,” I muttered.

“I don’t mind you calling. It’s nice that you care about my daughter. How about I ask her to call you? I can’t promise anything, of course; Annabelle has always been incredibly strong minded.”

I smiled. Strong minded was an understatement when applied to that girl. “Thank you.”

“By the way, how’s the job going? I’ve heard some good things about you here, you know,” he questioned, probably to change the subject.

I smiled sadly. “It’s going good, thank you. It’s everything I thought it would be,” I admitted, but the thing was, it just wasn’t what I wanted anymore.

“That’s great. With all the things I’ve been hearing about you, you’ll be running the place soon,” he chuckled.

I smiled at his compliment. “Not quite yet, I don’t think they’re ready for my style of leadership quite yet,” I joked.

“I’ll bet. I’d better go. Good to speak to you again, Agent Taylor.”

“Good to speak to you again too, sir,” I replied, disconnecting the call.

A knock sounded on my door, and moments later, Nate stuck his head in without waiting for me to answer. “Alright? Want to go play a couple of games of air hockey?” he asked, smiling sympathetically.

Nate had been great for the last couple of weeks. I’d told him everything, glossing over the whole Carter stuff with very minor details. He really didn’t understand how I felt about Anna at all, but he was trying to. He stayed in with me if I didn’t want to go out, was understanding and sympathetic when I needed to talk about her, and gave me space if I asked for it. He truly was the best friend a guy could ask for. I nodded, standing up and picking up the FedEx package I would mail on the way.

~ Anna ~

Two weeks after Ashton left, it was school break. Before all of this happened, Ashton and I had been talking through options for the vacation – the one that seemed to be the winner was asking my parents if I could go to LA with him. So the fact that I was at the White House was now doubly hard for me. Dean and Peter both got the two weeks off, so they dropped me with my parents and then headed off in their separate directions to spend time with family.