Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

At dinnertime on our first night at the White House, I dressed in a plain, black T-shirt and baggy sweatpants. I’d become accustomed to wearing loose pants for the last week because I didn’t want a pair of jeans to rub on my stomach and make me sore again. Ashton, on the other hand, looked incredibly handsome in a pair of perfectly faded denim jeans and a dark green shirt.

He held his hand out to me at the door; I gripped it tightly, loving the feel of his skin on mine. “I feel a little underdressed tonight. You look so damn hot, and I look like a bag lady,” I admitted, scowling down at myself.

He sighed and hooked his finger under my chin, tilting my head up. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” he promised, looking straight into my eyes. I smiled gratefully and, somehow, he managed to make all of my insecurities fade with that one intense look. His head dipped and his lips pressed against mine tenderly for a second before he took my hand and led me out of the room and down the hallway towards the dining room.

Instead of going in though, he stopped outside and looked down at me. He seemed a little nervous as he kicked his toes on the floor almost shyly. “Want to come for a walk with me before dinner?”

I frowned, confused. He’d been the one to agree to us eating with my parents tonight at eight o’clock, so why was he now suggesting a walk beforehand when he knew that would make us late? He never liked to be late, especially not if it meant keeping my dad waiting – he seemed to be making it his life’s mission to gain my dad’s approval.

“Um… sure, I guess,” I agreed hesitantly. “Is something wrong?”

“It’s a nice night, that’s all. Just figured we could get some fresh air.” He shook his head in answer, but he still looked like something was troubling him. His eyes were tighter than usual, his hand was gripping mine just slightly too tight to be natural. As he gave my hand a little tug and made me start walking again, I frowned at his back, letting him lead me along. Something was wrong. All day today he’d been a little distant and had kept walking out of the room to make phone calls. I’d put it down to the fact that we were travelling and so he was making arrangements with my guards and stuff. But was it more than that?

As we got to the side door, one of the staff opened the door and nodded in greeting. The cool air hit me in the face as we walked out of the house and down the steps. By day, the White House grounds were stunning, but by night they were spectacular. Little lights marked the edge of the path and illuminated the bushes and plants from underneath. The smell of the flowers was beautiful, almost as if it was artificial. Ashton walked along the path for a way before stepping over the little chain that lined the edge of it. He turned back to make sure I crossed it alright too. As he smiled, the stress on his face was easy to see. My insides clenched, wondering what on earth this was going to be about. I prayed with every bone in my body that he wasn’t bringing me out here to break up with me.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, really anxious now.

“Of course,” he replied immediately.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked in the direction that we seemed to be heading. “So, where are we going?”

He chuckled, squeezing my hand gently. “Damn, you hate surprises so much,” he teased, shaking his head at me. Surprises? What does that mean? He sighed. “We’re not having dinner with your parents tonight,” he said quietly as we stopped next to a huge hedge.

I recoiled, shocked. He was the one who had agreed to it, he had even said how much he was looking forward to it.

His nervous smile widened as he stepped backwards, pulling me along with him around the corner of the hedge. My breathing faltered when I saw what he’d done. There was a picnic set up next to the large fountain that I knew was in the centre of the grounds. Little gas lanterns illuminated the scene, casting romantic shadows everywhere. I’d seen the fountain from my window last time I’d been here but had never bothered to venture out to it. It was incredible. Little cherubs and angels were all carved out of marble in the centre, and the water was lit from underneath, making it glow a pale blue.

Around the edges of the fountain stood bunches of a dozen white roses, probably about ten of them in total. There were rose petals scattered over the blanket and grass and it was a clear night, so all the stars were out. Everything was just perfect and incredibly romantic. Tears welled in my eyes because Ashton had gone to so much trouble, just for me.

“Ashton, this is beautiful! You expecting someone?” I joked, wiping the tear that fell from my eye.

He laughed and nodded towards the blanket that had cartons of food all laid out in the middle. “Sit down then, Baby Girl,” he instructed as he picked up a couple of plastic glasses and poured some juice out for us.

“What’s the occasion?” I asked, looking around at all the food that was here. Everything was my favourite: chicken; quiche; pasta; chocolate fudge cake; strawberries; peanut M&Ms; marshmallows and every other weird thing I liked.

He smiled. “No occasion, I just wanted to do something nice for you.”

There was still something up with him, his body was still tense so it couldn’t have just been the secret of the picnic that was troubling him. “But something’s wrong, I can tell. Can you just please tell me? You’re making me nervous.” I bit my lip, silently pleading with my eyes for him just to blurt it out and get it over with.

He sighed deeply, shaking his head. “Damn it, woman, I wanted to wait until after we’d eaten,” he scolded playfully.