Heart Bones

There’s a flicker of happiness in his eye.

It’s the first time I’ve seen it.

I’ve been here almost two weeks and this is the first time he’s looked completely at ease. It makes me feel good that he seems to find that with me, but I’m sad it’s not something he feels all the time.

“What kind of things make you happy, Samson?”

“Rich people are never content,” he says instantaneously. That’s sad he didn’t even have to think about it.

“So the saying is true? Money doesn’t buy happiness?”

“When you’re poor, you have things to reach for. Goals that excite you. Maybe it’s a dream house or a vacation or even a meal at a restaurant on a Friday night. But the more money you have, the harder it is to find things to be excited about. You already have your dream house. You can go anywhere in the world anytime you want to. You could hire a private chef to make you every food you ever crave. People who aren’t rich think all those things are fulfilling, but they aren’t. You can fill your life with nice things, but nice things don’t fill the holes in your soul.”

“What fills the holes in a soul?”

Samson’s eyes scroll over my face for a few seconds. “Pieces of someone else’s soul.”

He lifts me slightly so that less of my skin is beneath the water. He drags his mouth across my jaw, and when his lips find mine, I’m hungry for them. Starving.

I feel him harden, even though we’re in the water. Yet still, all we do is kiss. This kiss lasts for several minutes. It’s both not enough and more than enough.

“Beyah,” he whispers against my mouth. “I could stay here forever, but we should probably head back before it gets dark.”

I nod, but then I kiss him again because I don’t really care if it gets dark. Samson laughs, but he quickly shuts up and returns the kiss with even more urgency.

I wish there were more parts of him I could reach. I can’t stop running my hands over his chest and his shoulders and his back. They end up in his hair as his mouth makes its way down my chest. I feel his warm breath against my skin, right between my breasts. He lifts a hand to the back of my neck and I feel him touch the knot on my bathing suit top.

Then he looks me in the eye, silently asking for permission. I nod, and he slowly pulls at the string until it’s untied.

The straps to my bathing suit fall down, and Samson leans forward, kissing the top of my breast. He slowly begins to work his mouth down until he takes my nipple in his mouth.

I suck in a shaky breath. The sensation of his tongue against my skin sends chills down my body. I close my eyes and press my cheek against the top of his head, never wanting him to stop.

But he does, thanks to the sound of an engine in the distance.

He immediately pulls away when we both hear it. There’s a truck down the beach headed in this direction.

Samson lifts the straps of my bikini and reties them around my neck. I groan, and maybe even pout. We make our way back to the shore, even though the truck turned around and headed back in the other direction before it reached us.

We’re both quiet as we pack up our things into the golf cart. The sun is beginning to set on the other side of the peninsula, casting a red and purple glow across the sky. The wind from the ocean has picked up and I look over at Samson for a moment. He’s facing the breeze, his eyes closed. There’s a calmness about him right now, and that calmness spreads to me.

His moods are contagious. I’m glad he seems to only have one or two. I’ve never felt as stable as I have since I started spending all my hours with him.

“Have you ever closed your eyes and just listened to the ocean?” he asks. He opens his eyes and turns to face me.

“No.”

He faces the water again and closes his eyes. “Try it.”

I close my eyes and blow out a breath. Samson’s hand finds mine and we just stand there together, in silence, facing the water.

I listen for what he’s hearing.

Seagulls.

Waves.

Peace.

Hope.

I don’t know how long we stand here because I become consumed by the meditation. I don’t know that I’ve ever stood in one spot with my eyes closed and just let go of my thoughts.

I let them go. All of them.

Eventually, it’s like the world grows completely silent.

I’m pulled out of that silence when I feel Samson kiss the back of my head. I open my eyes and inhale a deep breath.

And that’s the end of that. Dinner, a make-out session, and a stress reliever. What a date.