23
Emery
Seven weeks later
My pulse raced as I lowered myself into the seat across from Jessica in her office.
Word was out that Jess was pregnant. Her bump was now too significant to hide. Her morning sickness had lasted longer than average, and she’d assumed she would struggle with it for her entire pregnancy. But miraculously, it stopped about a week ago. Unfortunately, she wasn’t sleeping well, finding it difficult to get comfortable at night.
Despite her exhaustion, I’d never seen her happier.
And knowing what she was about to tell me, I wished I could say the same.
Jess took my hands in hers, leaning into me, concern creasing her brow. “You’re pregnant, Emery.”
I wanted to be brave.
I wanted to be cool, calm, and collected.
And maybe I would have been if it hadn’t been Jess in the room. The one person I trusted.
I burst into tears and caught a brief flash of tears in Jess’s before she enveloped me in her embrace.
“Oh, it’s okay, sweetie, it’s okay,” she soothed, rocking me.
However, it wasn’t okay. I’d always imagined that the day I found out I was pregnant, it would be the happiest day of my life. That I’d be sharing the moment with the man I loved.
Instead, I’d gotten knocked up by Jack Devlin.
And I kind of hated him.
I sobbed harder.
Jessica tightened her hold on me. “Oh, Em, sweetie.” She choked up. “Talk to me. You have me so worried.”
After a moment or two, I pulled myself together and out of Jess’s hug. She reached for a box of tissues on her desk and handed them to me.
Five weeks ago, I’d missed my period. I was ashamed to admit that in the aftermath of sleeping with Jack and finding he’d abandoned me, again, I’d also completely forgotten that we hadn’t used protection. Jack probably assumed I was on the Pill, but as a longtime single woman with no menstrual or hormonal issues, I’d never had to be on it. Still, we should have used a condom.
Because Jack wasn’t exactly a monk.
This realization only hit me when I missed my period.
I’d had hope that it was stress. That had happened to me in the past, my period delayed because of stressful events in my life. I didn’t purchase a pregnancy test. I was in complete denial.
Until the morning sickness.
I’d gone to Jess as my doctor but also because she was my best friend.
“What about the other thing?” I waved my hand at her computer screen. I’d asked Jess to give me a pregnancy test and a sexual health check.
“We’ll know soon enough about those tests,” she assured me. “Now, talk to me before I assume terrible things.”
Remembering her past with her sister, I hurried to assure her. “Oh, Jess, no. It was consensual.”
She exhaled. “Okay. Excellent. Big relief.” Tears shimmered in her eyes and her lips trembled. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I don’t mean to get emotional.”
I laughed through my own tears. “Oh, I understand.”
Jess gave me a sad, watery smile. “We’re pregnant together.”
A flicker of excitement cut through my fear and disappointment that this was happening so differently from how I’d imagined. I was going to be a mom. I had someone coming into my life that I could give all my love to. This little person. And I was determined to do a hell of a lot better than my parents did with me.
It didn’t change the fact that the circumstances were less than ideal. “Yeah.” And then I blurted, “I slept with Jack.”
She didn’t look surprised by this. “Emery.”
“He left me,” I sobbed before I could stop it, curling into myself.
He broke my heart.
Again.
My best friend hugged me fiercely. For the first time since I’d woken to find that stupid, goddamn note from Jack, I let out everything I was feeling.
I hadn’t cried, even though waking to find myself alone in my bed was one of the worst feelings in the world.
I hadn’t cried at all the last seven weeks.
I’d bottled up all my pain and humiliation and rejection and fear that I would never be loved by the people I loved.
Now it was flooding out of me and soaking Jess’s shoulder.
Jack leaving me like that, deciding he’d taken advantage without even asking me how I felt, was just a reminder of all the times he’d done that. He didn’t treat me as an equal. He decided for us. Time and again. And I’d been stupid enough to believe things would change now that Ian was out of the picture.
Still, that little kernel of hope lived inside me that Jack would realize what a self-righteous asshole he was being, hope that was smashed to smithereens when the town gossip wave rolled over me.
Everyone was talking about the murder. About Rebecca Devlin’s rape and the charges she faced for aiding and abetting Stu in accidental homicide. About Ian and Kerr Devlin being charged by the feds for racketeering and more, and that Jack was the one who handed them over to the police.