He was lying on the floor, completely still. Probably passed out. I carefully opened the door, wondering if it was a trick. If it was, my plan was to run out the front door and scream.
“Shawn?” I whispered.
He mumbled, but didn’t move. I crept out into the hall, then made a left toward the bedroom. Locking myself inside, I quickly got dressed and started packing. This was no time to be clever or neat; I just dumped whole drawers full of underwear and bras into my suitcase. Anything that was loose and not on a hanger, I shoved inside the suitcase.
After that, I got dressed. I wanted to be prepared to fight my way out of there if I had to. I put on a pair of jeans and some boots, then tied my hair back in a scrunchie.
I peeked out of the bedroom, but saw and heard nothing. I crept back to the spot where he had passed out and found that he hadn’t moved, though he was still breathing. He’d probably have a wicked hangover tomorrow, but he’d have to take care of it on his own.
While loading up my car, I couldn’t help but go over our entire relationship in my mind. We had met in high school. Shawn was a bit of a class clown; he had a reputation for being a bad boy, and I had convinced myself I could change him. The red flags were as clear as day now.
Shawn was always the one to score booze for a party. He’d sometimes cut school to get drunk with his friends. One time, he and his friends raided his dad’s garage to steal beer he had stockpiled for a barbecue. They were heroes back then, but I guess Shawn just never grew up.
The pressure he put on me to have sex was pretty constant. I guess I just told myself he loved me, rather than being smarter and judging him by his actions. He said the right things, but he didn’t do the right things. How could I not see it? How could I be so stupid?
Finally, with the car packed, I made one more check of the house we were renting. There were a few things we had bought together, but I left them behind with the memories.
Taking one last look at Shawn lying on the floor passed out, I wondered if I should leave him a note.
Really, though. What was there to say?
He had crossed a line, and this time, I was standing up for myself.
I was glad I had stood my ground and never had sex with him. Clearly, he wasn’t the right person. Most of it was on me, though. I was lonely and he was attractive.
For a few minutes, I was lost in thought, just standing there. I had to leave before he woke up and started apologizing. I couldn’t let myself stay here. It was over.
Sighing, I started walking out. I said farewell to the furniture we had picked up at IKEA together. Even then, Shawn had been pressuring me for sex. He made jokes about humping on the couch and asked if we should get plastic slipcovers to protect it.
Then, when we got home, we started making out on the couch; when he made a move, I stopped him, and we ended up in another fight. Fortunately, there was no drinking then. He just got frustrated and went into the other room to play video games.
Maybe Shawn was right on one point. Maybe I was a baby. Too young to really understand what a committed relationship was about. I’d concede that point.
Maybe I didn’t know, but I knew in my heart that it wasn’t this. This was just misery, and it had to stop. Better that it stop now than after we were married or, worse, had a baby.
As I walked out of the house, I told myself to never look back. I was done with Shawn, and I was moving ahead, towards whatever the future might hold for me.
Chapter Two
Dixie
noted the price of the hotel room I was getting for the night. There was no way I could afford to live like that! I had to find a new place, and soon.
Rather than stay in the hotel a second day, I checked out that morning and went to work early. It was better that I have all my worldly possessions in my car at work than sitting in a hotel room for the housekeeper to examine.
My boss, Mr. Lamb, ran a social media marketing company for local businesses. I spent the day posting on Facebook, Twitter, and various other social media platforms. The more, the better.
“Dixie?” asked Mr. Lamb as he entered the office. “What time did you get here? You normally don’t come in until after I do.”