My Fake Fiance's Secret Baby

The closer we got to Virginia, the quieter and moodier she got. We were near Jackson when it finally came out.

“I can’t believe mom would do this to me! What kind of maniac invites an ex to a reunion. Don’t answer that.”

“Wasn’t going to say a word.”

“She booby-trapped a reunion!”

“Indeed,” I said, remaining calm.

“It’s probably all just a farce anyway. She really doesn’t give a shit about Dixie coming back from Europe and is just trying to get Ellis and me back together. She has some bullshit, old-fashioned idea that marriage is supposed to be forever. Apparently, she threw a fit when the no-fault divorce law came through. Said it was an affront to God!”

“Wow.”

“That’s the level of crazy we’re dealing with here, babe.”

“Babe?”

“Sorry, slip of the tongue.”

“No, it’s good. Keep it up. Adds to the authenticity. What’s my nickname for you?”

“I’ve always liked sugar plum,” Shae said, blushing.

“We’ll get through this, sugar plum,” I said, putting my hand on her thigh.

“Almost feels real,” she said.

“It is,” I blurted.

“What?”

“I love you, Shae. For real. I don’t know if you feel the same but-”

She grinned from ear to ear and slapped me on the knee. “Of course I do you dope!”

“Y-you do?”

“I was trying to keep my distance because I thought you just wanted a FWB arrangement.”

“I thought that was what you wanted. You know, because of your history. I didn’t want to take advantage of your rebound.”

“We really are a pair, aren’t we?” Shae smirked.

“Indeed.”

“So, where would you like this to go?”

“House, marriage, kids. Not necessarily in that order.”

“Me too,” Shae confessed, blushing.

We arrived at the Garrison family lake house an hour later. I took a deep, cleansing breath bracing myself for what horrors might await us. Shae put her hand on my chest like she had that night at the hospital, and I immediately calmed down. Taking her hand gently in mine, we kissed tenderly, knowing that we could face anything if we were together.

There were several members of the Garrison clan milling about the impressively large yard. I recognized Diane immediately. She looked like an older, plumper, more pious version of Shae. Besides which she was coming right at us like a rampaging rhino, a younger guy, handsome, smug, and well-tailored, who I assumed to be Ellis by her side.

I could almost feel Shae tense beside me. Acting half on instinct and half on impulse, I put my arm around Shae’s waist and kissed her tenderly on the cheek. I could almost hear the screeching sound as Diane and Ellis skidded to a halt. Diane was clearly trying to ignore it, scrambling to save face. Ellis was more open about his display of disgust, which made me want to smile.

Newly energized, Shae went marching after her mother, no longer concerned about the possibility of causing a scene.

“What the hell were you thinking inviting Ellis to a family reunion?” Shae demanded.

“Ellis is family, even if you don’t recognize it. I’m just trying to get you back together.” Diane said intractable.

Shae actually laughed out loud and rolled her eyes in a way that I could see it from where I was standing. I was really proud of her.

“Mom, I would like you to meet my fiancé, Chris.”

“Christopher Stewart,” I said, stepping forward and offering a hand.

“The father of my child,” Shae added, pointedly.

I pushed down my shock, not wanting to give the game away. I figured the child thing was just another line to get to her mother.

Before things could come to blows, a man about Diane’s age came ambling over to see what’s what.

“Hello, I’m Chester, Shae’s daddy. Ellis is her husband.”

“Ex-husband,” I corrected firmly, as I shook Ellis’s hand.

“Ain’t no such thing,” Ellis said, trying to crush my hand in his manly grip

“There is according to the law,” I pointed out, popping three of his knuckles in my actually firm grasp. His face turning red by the time I released him.

“Are you a lawyer?” Chester asked, sounding interested.

“Oh, no, just an art director,” I explained.

“Fag,” I heard Ellis say under his breath.

“Though I do have also been training in Muy Thai for ten years,” I said, looking at Ellis as I said it, making him take a full step back.

“Would you care to go for a walk?” Ellis asked Shae, apparently not learning his lesson.

Again doing me proud, Shae literally laughed in his face before coming back and taking me by the hand.

“I assume we are in my old room?” Shae asked.

“Y-yes,” Diane said, too flustered to protest about us sleeping in the same bed. I was surprised she didn’t try to call the police on Shae for wearing pants.

We made our way to the house. Shae sailed through the crowd, ignoring the looks the little scene had garnered. She seemed like she was doing fine and was even happy. It wasn’t until we were out of sight in the house that she crumpled, letting me know how much the performance had cost her. I scooped her up from the floor and carried her to our room, Shae giving me directions as we went.