My Fake Fiance's Secret Baby

“Most of the animated bits were done by Aden, based on Chris’s storyboards,” I pointed out, handing her the phone.

“This wonderful!” Dixie exclaimed as the video ran. “They kind of remind me of the old days.”

“I think that’s the point. Chris is really into old advertisements, back when they were like art. He has a lithograph of an illustration of the logo for Bayer’s heroin from back when it was a company brand name.”

“That’s great!” Dixie exclaimed with a hearty laugh.

“He certainly is an odd duck — ”

“But, you love him to bits, right?”

“Yeah,” I said blushing.

“That’s certainly understandable, sweetie. He’s a real catch. After seeing this, I think I might marry him.”

“Grandma!”

She grinned. “Or at least have him do the posters for my next exhibition.”

“I’m sure he would. I mean, he’s pretty good at drawing, particularly in the old style, but if you had the company do it, there are some really great artists on staff.”

“Do you have anything of his?”

“Yeah, actually. Turns out, I’m one of the few who ever go on his tumblr.”

I pulled up the page and gave the phone back to Dixie, who started scrolling through the images. I thought she might cry.

“I don’t know what dame fool told you he wasn’t good, but these are beautiful!”

“He did actually. Or at least he wasn’t as good as Aden or the other illustrators at the company.”

“Hogwash! I mean Aden’s work is good, but I’ve never really liked computer graphics. Chris’s work has soul to it.”

I certainly could argue with her there. I wasn’t really sure what Chris was talking about when he said he wasn’t very good either. Though it was possible he meant compared to others, which is a perilous thing to do. Dixie always said the only fair comparison is to your former self.

“People are trying to sleep, you know!” Ellis shouted, stomping into the dining room.

“So sorry, your eminence!” Dixie quipped, not looking up from the phone.

“You’re getting really fat,” Ellis said to me with a disgusted grimace.

I pulled up my shirt even more with a big smile, actually making Ellis turn away at what was apparently the horrible sight of the beginning of my baby bump.

“I have a real man to get me pregnant,” I said, glad I no longer had to play nice. I was free of his influence or vengeance and could enjoy ruffling his feathers.

“I—”

“Then again, his cock is so huge I wouldn’t be surprised if I was having triplets!”

“Knew it,” Dixie smirked, not looking up from the phone. I tried not to think about what kind of R. Crumb monstrosity she might be adding when she got to the anatomical portion of her current painting.

“C-can we go for a walk, please? Shae?” Ellis asked, suddenly minding his manners.

“You can follow me to the kitchen. I’m getting orange juice.”

He groaned. “Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer a stroll by the lake? It’s so lovely this time of day.”

“Positive,” I said, crossing my arms.

“When did you get to be such a bitch?” Ellis spat, his frustration overcoming his attempts to be charming.

“Sometime in the last five years. My weapons of bitchiness were forged in the fires of your massive narcissism.”

“That’s really not fair. I did my best to —”

“What? Make my life a living hell? Well congratu-fucking-lations, gold star work.”

“W-we need to try again. I-I’ve changed-”

“Your manipulation tactics? Not as far as I can tell. Sorry sunshine. I’m immune from your powers of charm. Although there is one thing I guess I have to thank you for. One advantage of being a bitch is that it is a lot easier to see right through smooth-talking assholes. You took advantage of me and my innocence, you creep! Well, not anymore!”

“Will you at least give me back my signed NFL helmet?”

“It’s mine now. By judges order.”

“Fine, I’ll buy it from you then.”

“No. You can’t,” I said, leaving him standing there dumbly as my mom came in signaling to him.

“What’s the good news?” I could hear her asking Ellis as they walked out.

I felt pretty frustrated but not actually angry. I knew first-hand how convincing Ellis could be when he got going. Particularly when he was selling bullshit that people wanted to believe, truth be damned. For Mom, all that was really true was what was written in the Bible and the insanity bouncing around in her own head. I was glad that madness didn’t seem to be genetic in our family.

Chapter Twelve

Chris

It was an odd feeling. I had woken up alone so many times I would have thought I’d be used to it. I hadn’t been with Shae for very long, but I had already gotten used to her warmth beside me, particularly in the morning.

It was then that my overactive imagination kicked into gear. I had done my best to secure the room, but Ellis did have a key. Was it possible he had broken in at night and stolen her away, dragging her by the hair, Diane keeping the car running to make their getaway? Possibly but with a bit more thought, I realized this was unlikely. I wasn’t sure if Shae could have fought him off, but she would have tried, and I wasn’t so heavy a sleeper that I wouldn’t have heard it. Let alone the sound of the chair falling over. No. The most likely scenario had he tried such a thing, would be Shae and me out in the woods with flashlights and shovels digging a very deep hole. I really didn’t fuck around when it came to the people I loved.