Nerves tickled at the base of my spine as I pulled up at the hotel. Jeremy was already outside, waiting for me. It was cloudy out, and he wore a peacoat, something I’d never put on in my life, but it looked adorable on him.
He put his bag in the back seat and climbed in beside me. “What are we doing, Dare?”
“I don’t know exactly, but whatever it is, we’ll make sure we’re on the same page. I’ll talk to you at home, and we’ll sort things out together.”
He nodded. We were quiet most of the way to my place, just a few random words here and there. He told me about his day with West, and I said I went to see my mom.
Before I knew it, we were home and I was unlocking the door and letting him inside. This was totally different from when Jeremy had been at my house before, and we both knew it.
“Where should I put my bag?” he asked, closing the door behind him. I couldn’t stop myself from stepping closer, then closer still. Jeremy backed up until he hit the wall, and we were close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his body.
“I want to try something, but I’m nervous…and I also feel like we need to talk first, but it’s killing me not to know what you taste like.”
That earned me another sharp inhale from Jeremy. “Try it,” he said softly.
“Don’t we need to talk?”
“Try it, Darren. Once we have a discussion, there’s no guarantee we move forward. I need to know what you taste like as well. This might be our only chance.”
My chest tightened at that thought, of not knowing or having anything more of him than this but needing this damn moment too.
I moved in more, until our bodies were touching. I felt him against me the way I did when we slept at night, only this would take it a step further. My stomach twisted, and when I lifted my hand and cupped his smooth cheek, I trembled. “I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be. It’s just me.”
Because I could trust him. This was Jeremy, someone who’d come to mean more to me than almost anyone in the world.
I smiled, brushed my thumb over his cheek…then leaned in and pressed my mouth to his. My tongue lashed at the seam of his lips, and Jeremy immediately opened up for me. I took advantage, sneaking inside. He tasted like mint, smelled like cologne, coffee, and sugar, felt like this was where he was supposed to be.
We moaned together as I pressed my body tighter against his and deepened the kiss.
Jeremy held my waist. His fingers dug into my hips, hauling me against him. He moved and…well, hello there, erection. I immediately tensed up because I’d never felt a dick against mine before, but it did make my cock begin to stir. As if noticing a change in me, he slowed the kiss, eased his hold on me, and damned if I didn’t wish I could turn back time, take back that reaction so we didn’t have to stop.
“We should really talk,” Jeremy said breathlessly.
I dropped my forehead to his. “I like kissing you.”
“Yeah, until you felt my dick.”
“Just because it’s different. I’m hard too.”
“Physical response. I need to know what’s going on in here as well.” Jeremy raised his hand and brushed his thumb over my temple. I sighed because he was right. I didn’t want to fuck this up. I didn’t want to hurt him, which meant a conversation needed to happen.
I grabbed his hand, laced our fingers together, and gave a gentle pull so he’d follow me. “You can leave your bag there.”
Jeremy went with me. He sat on the sofa, and I almost offered him a drink, but I didn’t want us to have alcohol. This conversation required a completely clear head, and while I obviously had other stuff to drink, I held off.
“I talked to my mom,” I said as I sat beside him.
“Wait, what? You told your mom about me?”
Panic seized me, not because of it being him exactly, but because I hadn’t considered that he would assume that. But given the way the blue of his eyes dimmed and his gaze darted away, I knew he realized I hadn’t.
“I’m sorry. It’s not you. I’m just still trying to sort through shit. Hell, I’ve never gone to my mom about anything like this before—not even about a woman.” He nodded, and I continued. “I know we went over this, but…I like you. It’s never… I’ve never felt this way before. I wasn’t sure what that meant for me, and I still don’t, but I care too much about you not to try. I can’t make myself walk away, and I don’t want to. I’m working through not only the fact that you’re a man, but that I feel this at all. I didn’t think I was capable. I thought there was something wrong with me.”