“To be honest, when I first started fighting in the Blood Circuit, I didn’t care about my life—didn’t care if I lived or died,” Kalis said honestly. “I was damn near suicidal because I was still mourning the loss of my mate and child.”
“I’m so sorry, Kalis.” Jillian switched off the movie and turned to face him more fully. She looked at him seriously. “I want you to know. I’ll understand if that loss keeps you from ever wanting anything permanent ever again.”
She knew that most Kindred warriors who lost their wives simply died of grief, so it was kind of a miracle he’d survived the deaths of his family in the first place. It wouldn’t be unsurprising if he felt he could never get over what had happened, even though it was years in the past.
“I thought I would never feel love again—for years I thought that,” he said seriously. He cupped her cheek. “But then I started dreaming of you, sweetheart.”
“Oh, Kalis…” Jillian wasn’t sure what to say—she could feel her heart banging against her ribs. The way he was looking at her was so solemn…so intimate.
“I was going to wait to say this, but I guess now is as good a time as ever,” Kalis went on. “Jillian, I want to Claim you and bond you to me—I want something permanent with you.”
“You…you do?” Jillian looked up at him, wide-eyed. Was he serious? “I, uh, thought we were just keeping each other company,” she said uncertainly. “I mean, we don’t want to jump into anything too fast, right? That’s what happened with my ex, and I regretted it pretty quickly.”
Kalis frowned.
“I’m not your ex-mate, Jillian—I would never treat you the way he did. I’ve given you my oath to protect you and never hurt you—I would rather die than break it.”
Jillian bit her lip. She knew he was telling the truth—knew he would never hurt her and break her heart and ruin her financially the way Brad had. But part of her was still hesitant.
“I don’t know,” she hedged. “We just…haven’t known each other that long.”
Kalis sighed.
“I know it feels like that to you, since you didn’t dream of me the way I dreamed of you. But neither of us is getting any younger, sweetheart. And I want more with you—I want a soul-bond, like a Kindred is supposed to have with his mate.”
“Is a bond really that important?” Jillian objected.
“It’s more important than anything else,” Kalis said seriously. He shook his head. “You have no idea how deep and meaningful that connection is—how close you can feel to another person—how it broadens your love.” He stroked her cheek, looking deep into her eyes. “Right now, we’re just dipping our toes in the water. I want us to swim in the ocean, sweetheart. I want that soul-deep connection only a bond can provide.” His voice dropped to an intimate growl and his eyes went half-lidded. “Jillian, I want you inside me.”
It was pretty much the most romantic—and the most sincere—thing anyone had ever said to her. Jillian couldn’t help herself, she felt like she was melting when he looked at her like that and spoke those words.
“Oh, Kalis,” she breathed, feeling tongue-tied for a moment. “I don’t…don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll bond with me,” he rumbled, still stroking her cheek. “Say you’ll tame my Ursus so I can Claim you properly and we can belong to each other for the rest of our days.”
“Uh…what?” Jillian’s heart had been racing full-tilt ahead…now it came to a screeching halt. “What did you say about your Ursus?” she asked.
Kalis frowned.
“I was afraid this might be a problem. Before I can Claim you and bond you to me properly, you have to meet and tame my Ursus.”
“But I already met him!” Jillian protested. “He scared me so badly I nearly wet my pants!”
“It wouldn’t be like that, this time,” Kalis said quickly. “He would be gentle and calm—all you need to do to Claim him is look into his eyes, stroke his fur, and tell him that he belongs to you and you belong to him. That’s all.”
“That’s all?” Jillian demanded. “So ‘all’ you want me to do is pet a thirteen-foot-tall Grizzly bear whose head is as big as my entire body and who could bite me in half like a pretzel stick without even trying?”
“My Ursus would never do such a thing!” Kalis protested. “He feels the same way about you that I do, Jillian. He loves you—I love you!”
It was the first time either of them had used “the L word” but it wasn’t exactly great timing, as far as Jillian was concerned.
“What do you expect me to say, Kalis?” she demanded. “’Oh, honey, I love you too and to prove it, I’m willing to stick my head in the lion’s mouth and hope he doesn’t bite it off?’”