Vera shrugged, sipping her drink. “So?”
“So?” I quipped. “So I might not’ve come out here at all.”
“And I say again, so?” Vera set her now empty drink on the coffee table. “Does it matter why you’re here? You’re here. The sky is sometimes blue, the ocean is always blue, and you’ve got nothin’ tying you down. Stop worrying. You’re too young for that.”
I bit at my lip, thinking over Vera’s advice. I supposed from her perspective it was as simple as forgetting about Vic and moving on. I could do anything I wanted to.
Except what I wanted was to know my brother.
“Can I have your drink?”
“What?” I looked at Vera as she reached for the julep she’d made me. “Oh, yeah sure.”
I shrugged deeper into the couch, watching the waves crash over and over as Vera slurped down my drink. Eventually I’d figure everything out. I had to. Right?
I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling, feeling particularly useless. I’d excused myself from Vera to go rest and there I was, two hours later, staring at the exact same spot on the ceiling.
Feeling determined, I stood up—maybe a little too quickly, as the two-hour prostration meant blood rushed quickly to my head and had me reeling back. Nevertheless, once I gained all my faculties, I was out my bedroom door. Vera was also in the exact same spot I’d left her, making me feel a little less pathetic for having spent two hours doing nothing.
“Whazzzzuuup?” Vera droned. I eyed her curiously; her Louisiana twang sounded more than silly with the slang.
She shrugged. “I’m just tryin’ out the local lingo.” Popping a tortilla chip with guacamole in her mouth she added, “And food.”
“I’m going out,” I explained, reaching for the keys I’d left earlier.
“Oh please can I come? I’m more bored than the day my mama had me try on wedding dresses. We can use my car!” I paused, keys dangling from my palm. I wanted to ask her what she meant. Had she run off on her wedding? Is that why she was in California? The way Vera casually looked away and continued eating her chips and guacamole made me think it wasn’t the time. Besides, I had something important to do. I mean, it had pulled me out of bed.
“I wish, but this is something I got to do on my own.” And I did wish. I wished I could’ve had her come as moral support, because what I was about to do was already giving me heart palpitations. I’d taken Vera’s earlier advice to heart; maybe I should just beg off my brother. Maybe it was time to leave my family behind once and for all. What good had family done for me, anyway?
Still. I’d come all this way for my brother. It was the reason I’d come to California and not gone someplace like Nashville, some place I actually wanted to see. Don’t get me wrong, California was growin’ on me, but I’d never actually planned on moving there.
Before I cut him out of my life for good, I was going to give it one more shot. One more chance to regrow the dehydrated and dying bond with my brother. If it didn’t work, then I’d reevaluate. Maybe I’d check out Texas.
I jangled the keys in my hand, feeling bad as Vera’s face sunk. I tried to change the subject. “Do you have any job prospects?”
At my question, Vera’s face lit up with an odd smile. “I have a few lined up.” She looked away from me, playing coy. Again, I felt drawn into her mystery, but I didn’t have time. I could ask later.
I was halfway out the door when I realized something. I turned back to Vera. “Have you seen Chad lately?” Chad, our landlord and other roommate, had been nonexistent since we’d moved in. Most days it felt like only Vera and I lived together, despite the fact that it was Chad's place.
“Naw. That boy is at school all the time. He gets up at the rooster’s crow and doesn’t come home ’til well into the night.”
I sighed. At that point it felt like I was never going to leave. I shut the door and walked back into the apartment.
“Is that weird? Should we think that’s weird?” The entire situation seemed too good to be true. Both Vera and I were living in a beautiful apartment that was practically on the water. We paid next to nil in rent and we hardly ever saw our roommate. I may have been naïve but I wasn’t dumb; I knew that didn’t happen to people.
What should’ve happened was Vera and I ending up at the shelter because we couldn’t afford to rent anything, yet somehow we’d landed in the lap of luxury.
Vera shrugged. “I learned to never look a gift horse in the mouth. Damn, I’m out of guacamole.” Vera peered into the bowl as if it would magically replenish. I could tell she’d been drinking. She had that boneless lilt about her that drunk people got, as if the liquor made their body jelly.
“I’m gonna make more. Want some?” Vera looked up at me, eyes wide and glassy.
I stamped down the queasy feeling I had. I could only deal with one fire at a time. First Vic, and then I could tackle our too-good-to-be-true house. Or maybe I should have just taken Vera’s advice and not looked a gift horse in the mouth.
Shaking my head, I turned back toward the door. “I really need to go.” As I reached the door I heard Vera call my name from the kitchen. I placed my hand longingly on the door, the mint-painted wood contrasting with my skin. I give up. I’m clearly never leaving this apartment.
“Yes?” I turned to see Vera peeking her head out from behind the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. She had a wide drunken grin and avocado on her cheek.
“Be sure to use my car. No friend of mine is taking the bus!” Vera chucked her keys at me and ran back into the kitchen before I could respond. I caught the keys, fumbling awkwardly, and walked out into the Santa Barbara afternoon.