“How long for?”
“A few weeks,” Thomas says.
I ignore the throb in my chest. “We have to reach a firm agreement. I don’t want to find myself still here when the baby is walking.”
A pained look comes over his features, but he quickly replaces it with a smile, and I wonder if it was my imagination. “Sounds good to me.”
“Thomas, you’re the man who doesn’t want a long-term relationship, remember?”
“And you’re the woman who wants a baby but not the man.”
“That’s not true. I only resorted to a sperm donor because I hadn’t met a man ready for a real, serious, and committed relationship. I still haven’t met him, or have I?”
It’s unfair to push him against the wall like that, but I don’t want him to lie to himself that I’m the reason why we are not trying to be in a relationship. It’s time for Thomas to face the truth about himself.
“Look, I went through a lot in my marriage. I still haven’t come to terms with the knowledge that Tessa was cheating on me. I don’t want to make a promise that I can’t deliver.”
Pain rumbles through me. I see Thomas more clearly than I ever have before. He will never ever change. He’ll grow old as a bachelor. He probably loves his single life but is not brave enough to admit it, so he hides it behind what Tessa did and did not do.
I shake my head. “I know that about you. But I wish you’d stop hiding behind your marriage. That was four years ago. I think it’s time to admit that you’re not capable of loving another woman. You still place your wife on a pedestal.”
Why am I bothering?
I stand up. “Three weeks, Thomas. That’s how long I’ll stay after the baby is born, then I’ll move back to my apartment and move on with my life.”
***
Thomas was right. Two weeks from the day we had that conversation, I get an email from the management agency informing me that the building is ready for occupancy.
I’m tempted to move back to my apartment. The atmosphere between us has been filled with tension in the last two weeks. We’ve been sleeping in separate rooms and barely talking during meals.
Thomas started his new job, which means we see each other less. It’s a good thing, especially now when we haven’t managed to return to the easy relationship we had before. I miss him, though. I miss talking about my day with him and hearing how his went. Last week, we went to see Doctor Phillips together. That was nice, and some of the distance between us evaporated. Some of it.
Today is my day off, and I decide to pass by the gym and my apartment and check it out for myself. On a whim, I call Riley and ask her if she wants to come along.
“Yes, thank you. I’m feeling as if I’m going crazy,” she says dramatically.
“You’re just missing Leo,” I tell her. He’s out of town on a training course. “When is he coming back?”
“Not soon enough. Tomorrow,” she says.
“I’ll pick you up in fifteen minutes,” I tell her.
Suddenly, I feel a lot better about my situation. I’m glad that we can start getting the gym ready for clients and our normal programs. I’m grateful that my mom and Ian offered me a part-time job, but if I never hear the words “check please,” again, I’ll die happy.
It was fun and nice to get out of the house, but now that I’m in my third trimester, I’m tiring easily, and being on my feet all day is killing me. I’ll be glad to tell my mother and Ian that the gym will soon be operational again.
I find Riley waiting for me outside her house.
“Your belly size doubles every time I see you,” I tell her.
“I could say the same for you,” Riley says.
I stare at her in admiration. Despite being on bed rest for weeks, she hasn’t gained any weight. The only change is the protruding belly, and she looks adorable. “You sure the doctor said it’s okay to walk around?”
“Yes, and please don’t be like Leo. He’s driving me insane,” Riley says.
“You look good. I wish I could keep my weight down without any effort like you.” I steer the car back onto the road.
“You’re alright, Cora, relax. This is our time not to give a fuck about our weight. Embrace it.”
“Okay, ma’am,” I say with a giggle.
“So, when is the good doctor going to make an honest woman out of you?” she says.
Everyone I love asks me this question in one form or another. “I don’t know. I don’t think Thomas will ever be ready.”
She’s silent for a while. “You love him, don’t you?”
“Maybe.” I’m not ready to admit to anyone including my best friend what an idiot I am to be in love with a man who does not feel the same.