There’s a missed call from Martin, and I call him right back. I can barely hear what he’s saying from the buzz in the bar.
“Where are you?” he says.
“I’m at The Caroline,” I yell into my phone.
“I’m on my way,” he says.
Tom returns with my beer, and after serving me, he asks after Cora and the baby. All the servers who see me stop by to say congratulations and ask after Cora and the baby.
Martin comes when I’m on my second beer. He’s in a suit and looks as if he’s come straight from work. “How does it feel to be the newest daddy on the block?” He slides onto a barstool and asks for a cold beer.
“It feels good.” I grin and then sober up. “I fell in love with Taylor as soon as I laid eyes on her. She’s beautiful.”
“It’s frightening to think that a little human depends on you a hundred percent for survival,” Martin says.
“I thought I’d be cool because of my job,” I tell him. “But as soon as I saw her, I was gone even before I knew her name. Her name’s Taylor, by the way.”
“Taylor, huh?” Martin smiles. “That’s a beautiful name.”
“Cora chose it.”
Tom brings his beer, and Martin takes a long swig. Then he contemplates me. “Are you two still planning on going through with that crazy scheme?”
I told Martin about the agreement that Cora and I made about parting ways after three weeks, and of course, he thought it was crazy. “Yeah. The plan was to have a baby together and then go our separate ways.”
He shakes his head. “Is that what you want?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want. What matters is what Cora wants, and she was adamant that she wants to move out after three weeks.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. I don’t understand why you can’t give a real relationship a shot.”
I shrug. “I guess we just want different things in life. Not everyone wants the whole ‘til death do us part,’ thing.”
He takes another swig of his drink and then changes the topic.
I muse over what he said, and a part of me wishes that it were possible, but one thing I know is that Cora can’t wait to go back to her place. She wanted a baby, and now she has a baby. The loser in this whole business is going to be me. How am I going to stay away from my daughter? The more I think about her, the more I want to be in her life permanently. I want to see her and Cora every day.
Yes, I know it’s a stupid dream and one that’s not going to happen.
Five beers later, and we’re both more than a little tipsy. I ask Martin how the first couple of weeks with Willow were, and his face takes on a soft look.
“It was magical, exhilarating. I kept waking up to go and check on her, see if she’s real. But it was also exhausting, and Fran and I were perpetually tired,” he says with a smile.
I’m glad that Cora is staying for a few weeks. We need to be there for one another as Taylor adjusts to life outside her mother’s womb. When I think of Taylor’s future, I get both fearful and excited.
“There’s so much I want for Taylor,” I tell Martin. Beer is making my tongue loser than normal, and the day’s emotions have left me feeling defenseless. “I want her to grow up to be whatever she wants to be, but I have a feeling that she’ll be a doctor.”
Martin laughs. “I’m glad I’m not the only one with a feeling about this. I was telling Fran that our Willow would go into medicine, and she looked at me as if I were crazy.”
I shake my head. “Makes perfect sense to me. In fact, I plan on starting Taylor off early. Tomorrow while grabbing some things that Cora needs, I’ll get some toy doctor play stuff. A pretend doctor’s kit.”
“Hey,” Tom says leaning across the counter. “Too early for all that. Get the kid home first from the hospital, okay? All she needs now are warm blankets, sleep, and milk. That’s all.” He glares at us and then goes to the other end of the bar to serve another customer.
Martin and I look at each other sheepishly. “I guess we got a bit carried away.”
“We might have.”
We have one more beer each and then call it a night. As we’re standing outside the bar, Martin says, “Fran is going to kill me. I told you we were only going to have a couple of drinks.” He doesn’t sound too worried, though.
***
I wish that my biggest problem was that Cora would be upset that I stayed out longer than I said I would. I envy Martin and his stable home life. I wish that Cora and I were in a regular relationship and that we hadn’t made that agreement to co-parent our child.