Kept Man: Firsts and Forever Stories

I didn’t understand how his words affected me that much. I wanted all of that, desperately. It would feel so good to climb into his arms and let him take control. But part of me also wanted to run away, because I felt so vulnerable in that moment.

Even so, I took a deep breath and found myself saying, “If that’s really what you want, then go ahead.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Do exactly what you said.”

Even in the semi-darkness, I could see the change in his expression. His eyes became hooded with desire, and his uncertainty fell away, replaced with a quiet confidence I found surprisingly reassuring.

He started to undress me, and it felt odd because it immediately put me in a very passive position. Maybe that was the whole point, though. I raised myself up when he removed my pants, then my briefs, but other than that I sat still for him. Soon I was completely naked, and I probably would have felt self-conscious if my throbbing cock wasn’t providing a hell of a distraction.

He tilted my chin up with a light touch, and I met his gaze. The next words out of his mouth weren’t harsh, cocky, or demanding. If they’d been any of those things, it would have been an instant turn-off. Instead, his voice was gentle when he said, “Lie on your back for me, Jasper.”

I rushed to comply. A tiny part of my brain was whispering, what are you doing? But I ignored it, because I wanted this. God, how I wanted it.

And why shouldn’t I indulge? I wasn’t on the clock right now. Our “dinner date” had ended quite a while ago, and Micah wasn’t a client, because I hadn’t agreed to the six-month arrangement.

Okay, so maybe I was finding loopholes to justify this, but why the hell not? I’d spent such a long time going through the motions with countless men, and right now, in this moment, I wasn’t pretending. In the eight years I’d been turning tricks, I’d only had sex outside of the job a handful of times. This was for me.

So, I stretched out on my back and looked up at him. I was nervous, and I felt more vulnerable than ever, in a way I wasn’t used to. There wasn’t a fancy suit to hide behind or a paycheck to let me distance myself from what was happening. This was real.

Slowly, carefully, he covered my body with his. He supported some of his weight on his knees and elbows, but he also unmistakably pinned me down. He laced his fingers with mine and held my hands down too, pressing them to the blanket on either side of my head. It felt so fucking perfect.

His voice was low when he said, “Before we go any further, tell me what your limits are, Jasper. What can’t I do?”

I looked up at him. He was almost totally in shadow, except for his eyes, which reflected some distant light source. I sounded small and pathetic when I whispered, “Just please don’t hurt me.”

“I won’t, baby. I promise.”

I believed him.

He raised himself up a little, then rubbed his hard cock against mine through his clothes. A whimper slipped from me, and I tried to push against him, seeking friction. He settled on me again, pinning my hips, and the whimper turned into a soft sigh.

His body felt so warm and solid, and his mouth was just inches from mine. If I raised my head, I could kiss him.

But I wanted him to claim me.

He made me wait while he nuzzled my hair, then kissed my earlobe and licked my neck. Throughout all of that, my cock throbbed and leaked precum, and I squirmed beneath him, aching for more.

When he finally kissed me, it was laced with hunger. I parted my lips for him, and his tongue slipped into my mouth. As soon as he let go of my hands, I tangled my fingers in his long, thick hair and returned the kiss with barely contained desperation.

He reached between us and wrapped his hand around my cock, and I drew a sharp breath and almost came on the spot. “Not yet,” he whispered. “Not until I tell you to come.” A tremor of pleasure rolled through me, and I nodded.

He stroked me for a few moments before shifting us around and cradling me on his lap. Then he began jerking me off with firm, demanding strokes. It felt absolutely wonderful.

“Look at me, Jasper.” When I opened my eyes and met his gaze, he said, “Tell me who you belong to.” Oh fuck, I loved that.

“You,” I rasped. “I’m yours, Micah. Only yours.”

Those words had power over him. He exhaled slowly and tightened his grip on my cock, stroking me harder and faster. I could feel his hard-on pressing against my ass, but he ignored it and kept his focus on me.