“Been told that a lot, have you?”
“Some,” he said, and I realized he was more intent on kissing me again than in talking. I smiled as he recaptured my mouth, his hands all over me, knee between my thighs.
“You feel so good,” he murmured, pulling the sweats off, hands running over my skin as he bent and licked over the inside of my right thigh. “So soft and smooth and oh….”
His lips were back on my cock, and my words were a garbled mess by the time he was sucking and fondling my balls and had a slicked, lubed finger in my ass.
The lube and condom had come with him from the bedroom and been stuffed in the side of the couch cushion. He had both hands under my thighs, supporting me as I sat in some weird frog position, almost seated, and his cock slid in and out of me from behind.
“Your skin is so hot,” he growled before he bit down into my shoulder, stroking slowly this time, enjoying the glide of his cock in and out of my slicked hole.
I was holding on to the side of the couch, my knuckles white as he began increasing his speed and the force of each thrust.
“I have a game next Sunday, after Christmas.”
He wanted to talk about that now? “You have a huge game next Sunday.”
“Yeah. It’s in Arizona.”
“I know that, I… oh,” I gasped.
“Feel good?”
“Why are we talk—”
“Drive out,” he answered, his voice a low, sexy rumble as a hand closed around my cock, using the dripping precum to stroke me with. “I want you in the stands. I wanna know you’re there. I’ll get you a ticket for the game.”
“I can’t go to—fuck!”
“Yes, you can,” he told me, surging inside of me, harder, faster.
I started to shake because he felt so good, and my head fell back onto his shoulder as I let go, spurting over his hand, his fingers, convulsing with my third orgasm of the night.
“God, you’re so hot,” he moaned in my ear as he throbbed inside of me, and only then did I realize what we’d done, what step had been missed. I was frightened even as a sensation I had never experienced before drowned everything else. Instantly I understood what the best part of monogamy could be. Hot liquid was being pumped furiously into me, and it felt amazing. I was vibrating with excitement and terrified at the same exact time.
“Pull out,” I demanded weakly.
“Can’t,” he barely managed in answer, plastering his balls to my ass, trying to push in just that much deeper. “I want this.”
Other guys had begged me to bareback, but no one ever presented me with documented evidence that it was safe. But Carson Cress—I worshipped him from afar, he inhabited my fantasies—and so him I allowed to claim a piece of me no one else had.
“It’s okay,” he promised, arms wrapped around me, my back pressed to his chest. “We get tested all the time, have to. I’m not sick, baby, I swear. I’ll show you… I’ll show you.”
My relief, coupled with my orgasm, shredded any emotional control I had left. I bit down hard on my lip so the sob didn’t escape.
“I’ve got you.” His breath was warm on my ear. “Baby, I’ve got you. Let it out. Lemme hear you.”
But I couldn’t, not completely. Instead I trembled as fluid came seeping out of me, making the inside of my thighs sticky and slick, the mess we’d made together so intimate. Normally a washcloth would wipe it all away, but this, him coating my insides, my muscles clamping down on him, milking him, both of us buzzing with the feel of skin on skin, was all uncharted territory.
“I never….”
“Yeah, I figured from your reaction,” he whispered huskily. “Glad it was me.”
“It’s not safe.”
“It is safe, but only with me. I haven’t been with anyone in almost seven months, and there were only two girls before that. I’ve been tested since then, even though there wasn’t anybody.”
“Promise?”
“I have it on my computer at the house. I’ll email it to you, but really, it’s okay.”
I took a breath.
“I won’t ever hurt you.”
But it was pretty easy to see that if I let him, he could break my heart.
7
It wasn’t surprising that he was gone when I woke up in the morning. I wasn’t shocked that I took Matt to breakfast at Jason’s house instead of him. I hadn’t expected it to be more than a one-night stand—even though I had hoped in my secret heart—and it looked as though I was right.
Matt and I made the frantic drive back home together for Christmas to Sweetgrass, which was just twenty miles from Dallas. We left on Monday afternoon, the twenty-fourth, after I finished work, and got a head start since we closed early. So there was still enough time left when we showed up for Matt’s mom to feed us and drag us off to midnight mass. It was nice to wake up Christmas morning to a house full of the smells of cooking, turkey and ham, pies baking, and the sound of Matt getting reamed out by both his parents. He had missed being with his family the year before because he had spent his holiday with the girlfriend he had abandoned me for. They had not raised him like that, and while they understood that in the future he would be spending holidays away from them when he fell in love for real, some girl who would come between him and me was not a good choice.