Out in the Field (Out in College 4)

No, I didn’t think so, but I wasn’t a quick thinker. I needed time to process new information. Coach was right. It was probably good for the team. Sky was a great infielder with a high batting average. We could use his skills. For me personally…it was just very complicated.

“…I ran this by the other coaches and the athletic director. You guys were the dream team last year. So unless there’s bad blood I don’t know about…” Coach cast a parental gaze between us.

“Uh, no,” Sky said, glancing sideways at me.

Coach grinned and smacked his hand on the desk. “Good. We’ll make an announcement at practice this afternoon.”

“Great. I, um, I gotta go. I have class soon.” I pasted a smile on my face when Coach thanked me for coming by. Then I twisted the doorknob and made a mad dash down the hall and out the building. I sucked in the fresh morning air and started walking…fast.

“Max!”

Sky reached for my elbow when he caught up with me. I shook him off irritably and scanned the quad. It was slightly busier now than it had been earlier, but most of the students with eight a.m. classes were half-asleep at this hour. No one was paying attention to us. At least that was what I told myself when I whirled on him angrily.

“What the fuck are you doing? You’ve been MIA for months and now you show up out of the blue to do what? Save the fucking day? Or did you have something else on your mind?” I fumed.

Sky looked taken aback. I couldn’t blame him. I’d been the calm and collected one in our relationship. He was the wild card. One minute he wanted to suck my dick, the next he was picking a fight about crazy shit like co-mingling laundry. No kidding. It hadn’t always been that way. But our last couple of months together were incredibly dysfunctional. I’d honestly been relieved that he left. The part that sucked was not knowing if he was going to out me as a parting “fuck you.”

He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets and glanced around us before stepping closer. “I’m here to play ball. Just so you know, I never came out. I told my parents I was kidding. I told them I was probably just exhausted from school and…life. I had to. They were gonna cut my tuition, Max. They were going to disown me. I had nowhere to go. The only thing I had was baseball and school…and you. But we were in a bad place and—”

“You could have fucking called,” I hissed.

“I did call. I left you a message with my new number. Did you get it?”

“A couple of months too late, but yeah, I got it.” I swiped my hand through my hair. “You disappeared. People worried about you, asshole.”

“Were you worried?” he asked, sidling closer.

Here’s the thing about Sky…he was hot. The kind of classically square-jawed, gorgeous athlete with ripped abs and a perfect ass who knew he was special. And he wasn’t above using his looks and throwing in a little charm to get what he wanted.

I backed up a step and folded my arms over my chest. “I was at first, but since you sporadically picked up the phone for mutual acquaintances, I figured you were fine. In fact, I caught on that you wanted me to wonder when the other shoe was going to drop.”

“I was never going to out you. Jesus, I couldn’t even out myself,” he huffed derisively.

“What do you want from me?”

“Nothing. I told you…I just want to play ball.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m serious. I want my place back. Look, we can do this. You heard Coach. We were the dream team, Max. We fed off each other in the locker room and on the field. We had the chemistry Coach says is missing now. Maybe we can get it back and fix the team…and fix us.”

I lowered my voice and shoved my finger at his chest. “There is no us, Sky.”

He narrowed his eyes shrewdly. “Are you seeing someone?”

“That’s none of your business,” I snapped. “And it doesn’t matter ’cause we’re done. If you’re gonna be on the team again, so be it. Do your job and I’ll do mine. But if it has nothing to do with baseball, don’t fucking talk to me.”

I fixed him with a piercing stare before turning away.

I ignored my shaky hands and my racing heart, put my head down, and speed walked across campus to my car. I revved the engine, glanced in my rearview mirror, and paused to adjust it. I caught a piece of my reflection and froze. I didn’t recognize the freaked out, awkward guy staring back at me. I was happy, carefree. I didn’t have time for negativity. My reflection told another story. I looked like someone who just realized he might be running out of time.