Out in the Field (Out in College 4)

* * *

All day long, I was convinced time wasn’t on my side. I’d never been more aware of the clock in my life. I measured time in terms of what I needed to get through. I counted down the hours until Sky made his prodigal son return to the field and added three more until my teammates’ curiosity boiled over and everyone looked to me to see if his return was really something to celebrate. I was a terrible actor. I could have used a few pointers from Phoenix, but I had to get through Sky’s return to the team on my own.

And honestly, it was very anticlimactic.

The team welcomed him warmly when he showed up to practice Tuesday afternoon. Fist bumps, high fives, slaps on the ass. They asked where he’d been and when Sky told them he had some family issues, they nodded in understanding and respectfully dropped the inquiries. They probably thought someone close to him died and once again, superstition won. We didn’t talk about death and dying when we were tossing the ball around unless it was to recap a gory scene in Game of Thrones.

I didn’t notice the wary sideways glances until after practice. It was subtle, but I bet Sky felt it. He might have their sympathy or understanding today, but showing up and sticking it out was everything in baseball. He was going to have to prove himself all over again if he wanted the team’s respect.

I was just glad it was over and relieved that it felt like a mostly normal day. Now all I wanted was Phoenix. I pulled out my cell to text him when I reached the parking lot and slowed my pace when I heard someone call my name.

“Hey, what the fuck was that all about?” Javi asked, falling into step beside me. “Did you know about Sky?”

“Coach told me yesterday. I had no idea.”

“It’s fuckin’ weird. We can use him, for sure, but it seems suspicious. You guys used to be close. What happened to him?”

I’d been asked that question countless times over the past few months. It made sense that people would wonder how we went from being inseparable on and off the field to…nothing. But that was exactly what happened. One minute we were together and the next we weren’t. We didn’t have one fight that ended us, we had a series of them. I felt guilty that I hadn’t been more in tune with what Sky was going through, but he didn’t let me in on purpose. He didn’t want me to know him. Not in a real way. We weren’t friends. We were lovers who blew apart, and I had no explanations to give. I didn’t know any more than anyone else about Sky’s state of mind. I only knew it was his story to tell. Not mine.

So I paused to give Javi a bored look and then shrugged nonchalantly. “I have no idea. But yeah, we can use his help, so let’s be cool and if possible, try to keep Micah from going ballistic when his ass sees more of the bench.”

Javi let out a low whistle. “You’re right. Johnson will go back to the outfield on Saturday if Sky plays shortstop. This could get ugly.”

True. We might not know how Coach would handle it, but the batting lineup would certainly change, and the weakest link would sit. It wasn’t personal. It was about winning. And like it or not, we had a shot at winning with Sky.

* * *

Phoenix auditioned that Wednesday for Chicago. He was a nervous wreck. Thankfully, he was supposed to find out if he got the part by Friday or early the following week. I didn’t want to tell him about Sky until he found out about the role in Chicago. Maybe I was superstitious, but bringing up an ex seemed like bad luck, and I was sure Phoenix would agree.

I didn’t think we could talk about my ex without dealing with the emotional fallout, and I didn’t want to upset the balance. Okay, that wasn’t one hundred percent true. Phoenix might have been a little more high-strung than usual, but it hadn’t changed his temperament. He was still good-natured and easy to be with. The only real difference seemed to be a spike in his libido. And he was already voracious. We both were. Whenever we could sneak in an hour or two alone between classes and practice, we’d meet at one of our apartments to fuck like bunnies until the real world invaded.

So yeah, I wasn’t overly surprised by the sexy message he sent me Friday afternoon. I was just bummed I still had an hour of econ to get through before I could go anywhere.

Have you ever used handcuffs?

No. You have some?

Phoenix sent four laughing emojis. Maybe. Are you almost done with class?