“You’ve always been there for me when I needed you, Mom.”
“And I always will be.”
“If you need anything, anything at all, I’m doing fairly well with the store, you know. I have a little put away...”
Her mother stiffened. “Jennifer Gayle Baer, if you’re implying that I wanted you to marry Thad for his money, or that I expect you to support me when I am perfectly capable of supporting myself, then I’m going to be very offended.”
Smiling a little, Jenny held up a hand. “I wasn’t implying anything of the sort, Mom.” Though sh
e was a little relieved to have it spelled out. “I just wanted you to know I’m here for you, too.”
“I do know that. Thank you.”
They glided and sipped in silence for a moment, and then her mom asked the inevitable question. “What about Gavin?”
“I don’t know,” Jenny admitted. “He... I have to admit there are feelings, but...”
More than anyone, perhaps, her mother understood. “But he’s still a cop.”
Jenny nodded somberly. “And I still don’t know how to deal with that.”
“Lots of jobs carry risk. He could be a pilot. Or a soldier. Or he could be a firefighter, like your dad. I always worried about the danger in his job, though sadly his off-duty hobbies were even more dangerous,” she added with a little break in her voice. Speaking more firmly, she continued, “Actually, construction jobs are quite hazardous. Take it from someone who worked in ER for several years and saw some fairly nasty construction injuries. Would you be just as wary of Gavin if he were a roofer or a high-rise worker at the end of a harness? Or would you feel free to love him only if he worked in an office or a classroom, where he’d be relatively safe barring an unexpected illness or car accident or tornado or mugging?”
So many things to go wrong, Jenny thought with a little shudder. So many ways to lose someone. She knew her mother had been driving home a point, but rather than reassure her, the list only made her more afraid to give her heart completely.
“I’m scared,” she whispered. “It didn’t work out last time, and it almost broke my heart. What if...?”
She swallowed a huge lump in her throat.
“As I said before, you have to decide what’s right for you, Jenny. Whether it’s Gavin or Thad or life as a single career woman, whatever makes you happy is what you should choose. Not what pleases your grandmother or me or your friends or anyone else. Think about what it is that gives you pure joy—the way your father did for me—and go after it with your whole heart. I have no doubt that you can do anything you set your mind to. And don’t worry about your grandmother. She’ll throw a tantrum, but we’ll deal with her together.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Any time, sweetie. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” And despite everything, Jenny loved her contrary, bossy, pretentious and damaged grandmother. Which only went to show, she supposed, that there was no logic to her heart. Now if only she could decide whether to listen more to her heart or her mind, her courage or her fears, when it came to Gavin.
Chapter Ten
Her tensely awaited reunion with Thad could only be described as a dark comedy of errors. Almost everything that could go wrong did.
Before he’d even left on his two-week trip, they had arranged for her to accompany him to an important fund-raiser Wednesday evening at an exclusive downtown hotel. The tickets had cost a thousand dollars each, but Thad hadn’t blinked at the price. It was important, he’d said, for him to attend this particular event. All his law-firm partners would be there, and his presence was expected.
The plan had been for his plane to land early that afternoon, giving him time to go home, shower and change and pick up Jenny for a nice dinner before the gala. That schedule didn’t leave a lot of time for the conversation she needed to have with him, but she was prepared to talk with him as soon as he arrived to collect her. She would be dressed to go out, but she would assure him that she would understand if he’d prefer she stay behind.
She rather hoped that would be his decision, which would be far less awkward, but she’d promised to accompany him and she would keep her word if he wanted her at his side for one final event. She knew Thad would smile and mingle and be a courteous escort regardless of his feelings about her turning down his proposal.
She hadn’t heard from Gavin since she’d pretty much kicked him out of her bed. She knew he was waiting for her to call, but she wasn’t quite ready for that. She told herself it was because she needed to settle things with Thad, but she suspected it was more cowardice than courtesy that held her back.
She still wondered if it wouldn’t be better for both of them to leave it as it was. At least this time they would have parted with a few hours of amazing pleasure rather than angry words, with kisses instead of tears. Wouldn’t that be infinitely preferable to trying again and probably failing again?
Thad called from the airport in Phoenix. His connecting flight had been delayed an hour. An hour later he called to say he’d been delayed again. Just before he was finally able to board, he gave her a quick, terse call to let her know there would be no time for dinner.
“I hate to do this, but I’ll have to pick you up in a rush to make it to the fund-raiser at a decent time. I’m so sorry, Jenny.”
So their talk would have to wait until later in the evening. “It’s okay,” she assured him. “You couldn’t help the delays. I’ll be ready to go as soon as you arrive.”
“Thanks, sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. The attendants are telling us to turn off our phones now, so I have to disconnect. I’ll see you in a few hours. Love ya, Jenny.”