“I like hearing you talking in here,” he added with a candidness that rather surprised even him. “It makes me feel less alone.”
Alexis laughed softly. “Are you afraid of the dark, Daddy?”
His mouth twisted. “Yeah, princess. I guess I am.”
“Don’t worry,” she told him, her sweet little smile twisting his heart again. “We’ll be right here.”
He nodded, taking one last look at them there before turning back to his books and papers.
They were all here. For now. But for how much longer?
Normal, healthy attraction.
No
need for anything to change.
Snippets of things Connor had said in the kitchen kept running through Mia’s head as she lay on the air mattress, staring at the fire and wishing she could escape into sleep. Alexis slept soundly beside her, and Mia could still hear Connor moving around in the kitchen, but she had no desire to slip out of the covers to join him.
No need to risk any further humiliation for one evening.
What had she expected? she asked herself, scowling into the flames. That a few kisses would solve all the issues between her and Connor?
He had told her all along that he wasn’t in a position to offer anything more than friendship. It had been difficult enough for him to take Alexis into his life on a permanent basis, even though he’d felt he had no other choice about that. He certainly wasn’t making any more commitments that would interfere with his all-consuming plans.
She reminded herself that she had entered this situation willingly. That the idea had been hers and hers alone. Sure, she’d been naive. Unprepared for the reality of caring for a child. Of loving that child and being loved in return. Of living with the man she had considered her best friend. She’d foolishly believed the attraction she had always felt for him would be something she could keep to herself, a silly little secret that would have no effect on their relationship.
What she hadn’t expected was that she would feel an answering attraction.
Proximity. That was his explanation for the kisses they had shared. A healthy man sharing living quarters with a woman he found attractive—it was only logical, in his infuriatingly male logic, that they would occasionally act on that attraction. And having done so, they should be able to continue as they’d been before, with no important changes to their friendship, as he’d suggested.
Stupid man.
Alexis stirred in her sleep, murmuring something beneath her breath. Mia smoothed the child’s hair, her heart twisting with love and pain. She really hadn’t known what she was getting into when she’d moved in here, she thought again, staring blindly at the leaping flames in front of her. Had she had even a clue of the heartache she would face, would she make that same choice again?
Chapter Ten
“You have to meet this guy, Mia. He’s so cute. Wait till you see his eyes. They’re so dark a girl could get lost in them. And his eyelashes—well, let’s just say I’m very jealous of his eyelashes.”
“He sounds very attractive.”
Natalie made a rude sound and pointed at Mia with half a peanut butter sandwich. They sat at a small, round table in the otherwise empty teachers’ lounge, both being blessedly free from lunchroom duty that day. Although a welcome retreat from students, the lounge was hardly luxurious. It was furnished with a couple of worn couches, this little table and four chairs, a soda machine, a fridge, and a long counter that held a sink, a small microwave and a coffeepot that someone always drained without refilling.
“Have you not been listening to me? He’s not just attractive. He’s gorgeous. I’m telling you, if I weren’t seeing Donnie, I’d jump this guy in a New York minute. His name is Cliff, by the way. Cliff Duffie. Isn’t that the cutest name?”
“Adorable. But, seriously, Nat, I’m just not in the mood to meet anyone new right now. There’s just too much going on here at school and at home and…well, you know. Bad time.”
Natalie made a sound that was suspiciously like a growl. “That’s what you always say these days. Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve been out after school?”
Feeling a bit guilty, Mia shifted in her seat. “It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with you. I just don’t really want to go on a blind date. Why don’t you and I plan to do something, just the two of us? Dinner or a movie or something? Or we could drive out to that new shopping center. You’ve been wanting to see what’s there, haven’t you?”
Eyeing her speculatively, Natalie took another bite of her sandwich, chewed and swallowed before speaking again. “What’s going on, Mia? You’ve been acting differently for a couple of weeks. Ever since that ice storm, really. Are you and Connor having problems? I warned you it would be difficult with all of you living in that little house. Starting to wear on each other’s nerves?”
Glancing around to make sure no one was eavesdropping on their conversation in the tiny lounge, Mia shook her head. “No, it isn’t like that. I’ve hardly even seen Connor for the past weeks. He’s always with his study group or in the lab or the library. Ever since he started these two new classes, he’s busier than ever.”
“So that’s the problem? You’re feeling neglected? Taken for granted, maybe?”
“There’s no problem,” Mia insisted with a shake of her head, pushing away her own barely touched lunch. “It’s just…I guess a touch of winter blues. I’m ready for spring.”