He took a deep breath, considering his words before he spoke. “Claire, I don’t know what you want. You might not know what you want.” He took slow steps toward me.
&n
bsp; I kept my eyes averted and my emotions hidden.
His hand caught my cheek, capturing my eyes with his. “But I know what I want.”
I looked at him, knowing my confusion was clearly written across my face.
His face looked apprehensive, his voice wavering. “I…I care about you, Claire.” He took a breath. “I’d like to spend more time with you.”
“I’m leaving the day after tomorrow.” I sounded as shocked as I felt.
His eyes held mine captive. “You can come to London. The movie’s opening there. Bring your children for spring holiday. Make it a proper vacation.”
I stared at him, completely at a loss.
He was watching me carefully. “We can figure this out as we go. Together.”
I shook my head. His words were tempting—and completely unsettling.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me, of us. You have every reason not to trust a man ever again, but I’m hoping this—” His hand caught mine in his and placed it over his heart to emphasize his words. “—will help you want to try.” His heart beat wildly under my palm.
His words hung in the air. I heard the sincerity in his tone and stared at our hands. “Josh, we live in different worlds. We…we’re in very different places in our lives.” I stepped away from him.
“Not really. We’re both at a beginning.” He moved closer, the space between us disappearing.
My chest tightened. He’d just given me what I wanted and more. “I don’t think I can.”
“Why?” His brow furrowed and he took a deep breath. “The past has no impact on what happens now.”
Why indeed? I shook my head, unable to find words that could adequately explain the mix of emotions I was experiencing.
“There’s nothing to prevent you from having more.” His face was torn, then he took a steadying breath.
I wasn’t thinking clearly. “I can’t.”
I heard the hesitancy in his voice. “I’ll understand if you don’t want this.”
“That’s not it…” I mumbled.
“I would understand…because I read your book, Claire. I know what you’ve been through—as much as anyone can. It was before I met you, before I knew it was your story.”
“What?” I heard the renewed shock in my whispered question.
“Last fall, I was collecting scripts from Shannon’s office when we were finishing up Stellar Siege. It was an accident. The scripts were stacked on her desk, and I grabbed your manuscript with them. Honestly, I couldn’t put it down. I asked Meg when the screenplay was going to be ready. She didn’t know what I was talking about. And when I gave it back to Shannon, she was livid. She told me to forget I’d read it. It was her secret project.”
I stared at him.
“I didn’t realize it was your story until last night. I suppose I should have, but it never occurred to me. And when it did, I didn’t know what to say. All of my bloody questions, my glib responses— I was a shit. I wouldn’t ask you to relive things that you should never…never—” His hand tightened about mine as he spoke fiercely. “—have had to go through. It’s wrong, what happened to you. And I’m sorry for reading your story without your permission.” His voice was full of regret.
I was sad, but not angry.
“Can you forgive me?”
I looked up at him, my heart in my throat. I knew I wouldn’t be able to say anything, so I nodded.
His arms wrapped around me, gently pulling me against him. My heart pounded as his head bent to mine, pressing a kiss on my forehead. It felt very right, being held in his arms.