“Fuck.” Discovery by hostiles was the absolute last thing they needed, and for once, Ben was none too confident in their ability to defend themselves. “Time to hide.”
Maddox didn’t argue, nodding, eyes scanning the terrain. Ben spotted a dense thicket of vines, scrubby trees, and fern-like plants covering a low dip in the boggy soil, deep behind several bigger trees. It would have to do. He pointed and helped Maddox navigate to the spot, then carefully lowered him down before crouching himself. He shoved Maddox behind him, pulling vines and leaves up over their spot before lying on his stomach. The soil was spongy and cold, and he hated knowing that more of the thick mud was inevitably getting in Maddox’s wounds. Something slithered away from him, and he knew insect companions were sharing their hiding spot. Maddox was flat on his back, breathing hard. Ben’s own injuries burned and protested the position, so he couldn’t imagine Maddox’s pain.
But he couldn’t speak, couldn’t offer sympathy. This was hardly the first time he’d had to hunker down and hide in a tight spot with a teammate, but it was the first time he’d found himself reaching out, finding Maddox’s hand with his good arm and squeezing tight. However, instead of squeezing back, Maddox pulled away, wiggling a few inches away so that their bodies no longer touched.
When did things get so messed up between us? Ben’s hands clenched against the dirt. He was so tired of this weird tension, and the worst was knowing that that it was all his fault. Because you pushed...Maddox had warned him that this would happen, and Ben hadn’t listened.
Six months ago
Ben heard the snick of Maddox’s door lock and knew he’d fucked up but good. However, he had a lap full of eager twink who already had his dick out.
“Think you could get it up to fuck me if I wait?” The kid—Kevin? Canyon? Canaan? That was it. Canaan gripped Ben’s shoulders hard.
“No,” Ben lied. Going again was never an issue for him, but he was far too distracted to enjoy it right then. He needed to hustle Canaan out the door ASAP and go see how badly he’d traumatized Maddox. “Early morning tomorrow. Gonna need my sleep—”
“And to see what’s up with your roommate?” Canaan was too perceptive by half. He stopped his gyrations. “You guys a long-term thing?”
“Nope. Just friends.” The words sounded false even to Ben’s own ears. But it was the truth—despite the weird stirrings of attraction Ben had been plagued by the past few months, they were friends. Buddies. Had been for so many years now that Ben could scarcely remember his life without Maddox in it. And the absolute last thing Ben wanted was to fuck that up.
But he hadn’t been able to resist, seeing Maddox lurking in the shadows, in just his flannel pajama bottoms, fuzzy chest bare, hand pressed to his groin, eyes flared. Maddox had been turned on, that much was clear, and Ben had lost his ever-loving mind over the knowledge. Not that he was a stranger to various threesome configurations—Trey had seen to that—but he should have known better than to push Maddox.
“Yeah, right.” Canaan sounded every bit as skeptical as Ben felt. He zipped up, levering himself off Ben’s lap. Ben took the chance to rearrange his own pants and pull his shirt back on. “Luckily, it’s still early. I’m going to head out—hopefully the pickings aren’t too slim if I cab it back to Hillcrest.”
Ben should have protested, should have offered...something. The guy hadn’t even gotten off, but Ben couldn’t find it in himself to reciprocate with Maddox’s closed door looming like a snare trap, waiting to punish him for his lapse. Instead, Ben pulled out his wallet, grabbed a pair of twenties. “I can help with the cab.”
“This is where I should tell you I’m not a rent boy, but textbooks this term were a bitch. I’m not going to turn that down.” Canaan plucked the bills from Ben’s grasp. “Want my number in case you guys work things out? I wouldn’t mind being the filling in a SEAL sandwich.”
“Sure.” Ben pulled out his phone, mainly to be polite because the guy was taking leaving rather well and there was no sense in being rude, even if he wouldn’t call. Even if Maddox were up for it, Ben seldom did repeats.
He took Canaan’s number, then walked him to the door, not able to keep his exhale in when he closed the door.
Time to do damage control. Strides purposeful, he went to Maddox’s room. No sense in wishing away the challenge—Ben hadn’t gotten himself this far in life by avoiding danger. He knocked on the door, and not tentative raps either. He’d dug himself into the mess, and the only thing to do was to own up to it.