Any Closer

I turned so I could.

“Holy shit, Leo,” he gasped, and I watched his lips part, saw his eyes get big and round in shock

“It ain’t that bad; it’s only the one eye.”

“They both look terrible.”

I shrugged. “That’s ’cause I’m tired.”

His hands lifted but stopped, and I knew if we were alone that he would have touched me. He was worried—we were friends, after all—but I was all right. He didn’t need to get worked up. I bumped his knee under the table and would have moved back, but his hand was suddenly there, holding me still.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as I looked over at him.

“I—” He coughed. “—need to speak to you.”

I waited for whatever it was.

“In private.”

“Bathroom?”

“No.” He smiled slowly, shaking his head like I was an idiot.

“Uhm, the truck?” I teased him.

“No.”

“Awww, Charlie.” I gave him a big grin that I was not in total control of. “You wanna come home with me and talk?”

“Yes,” he assured me, nodding. “That would be perfect.”

“When I fall asleep while you’re trying to tell me something important, that’ll be just great.” I laughed softly. “Do me a favor and wait’ll Monday or—oh crap.” I was suddenly worried. “You’re not quitting, are you?”

“No,” he whispered, head down, eyes hooded, and he shook his head quickly.

“Okay.” I realized that the thought had upset me, because not only would I be losing a man I counted on, but a friend as well. “Don’t leave, alright?”

His head snapped up, and his eyes, his truly beautiful eyes, were locked on my face. “Okay,” he agreed under his breath.

I noticed after a minute that he was staring at me a little too intently. “What’d I say?”

“I promise.”

Promise?

“I won’t ever leave you.”

Me? “What?”

“You said don’t ever leave me,” Ace belched from across the table before he started on another hot wing.

“I did?” I looked back at Charlie.

“Yeah, ya did.”

“Huh.”

“And I promise, I won’t.”

“Does that mean you’re gonna take the job Paul offered you?” I asked hopefully.

He nodded, smiling sheepishly. “Yes, it does.”

“Good.” I sighed. “That’s great news. Tell him Monday, okay? He’ll be so happy.”

“Are you happy?”

“Yes, I am.” I smiled back.

“Okay.” He exhaled, and I went back to trying to remain vertical.

After another hour, I was nodding off just sitting there. I did the jolt where you realize you lost time and told the guys that I had to go. Charlie had left the table, and I had no idea how long he’d been gone. But I said good night, paid the bill, called Paul again to tell him that he’d missed a great time, and staggered toward the door.

The ride home was okay. I rolled the window down, and the icy air on my face made it impossible to close my eyes. I had never realized how much the stairs to my apartment resembled Everest until I was hiking them.

Inside, I was determined that this time I would make it past my couch. I really didn’t want to sleep in drywall dust, as it got itchy—was already itchy—so I shed my clothes and hit the shower. I realized when the water ran cold that I had fallen asleep on my feet like a horse. Thirty-five suddenly seemed really old.

But I felt better when I got out and was flipping off lights when there was a knock. I didn’t do the peephole check; I just opened the door.

“Leo.”

And there I was, faced with Ethan Hill for the second time in two days.

“Hi.” He smiled at me, shoving his hands into the pockets of his wool-and-cashmere trench coat.

“What’re you doing here?” I might have whined. I really wanted to go to bed.

He cleared his throat. “May I come in?”

No, I thought, but stepped back, opening the door for him. He walked by me but didn’t go to the couch; he stayed close as I shut the door and turned.

“Jesus, you look good.” He smiled, looking me up and down before he suddenly frowned.

“What?”

“Who hit you?”

I shook my head. “It’s a long story.”

“I’d love to hear it,” he said, his gaze back to raking over me once more. “And it’s very caveman and kind of hot.”

I realized that all I had on was a pair of sweats. Shirtless, sockless, and underwear-less, I was only one step from naked. “How did you know where I lived?”

“You had this place when we were still together, when I first moved to LA.”

“Oh, that’s right.” I nodded, scrutinizing him. I had not realized it the other day, but he looked older, different. “What do you want, Ethan?”

He took a step closer so he had to tilt his head back to keep my gaze. “I wanted to explain about Aidan.”

“What’s to explain? You wanted a guy like you, and now you’ve got one. I get it. I don’t need you to run the movie.”

There had been a time when the look I was getting would have melted me through the floor. The vulnerability would have stirred me. The wisps of blond hair that fell forward into his eyes, the pale blue framed in golden lashes, the wide-open face and the way he bit his bottom lip…. I had been crazy about the man. I would have followed him anywhere if I’d only been invited.